WE'VE MOVED: go to http://avengingjackmurphy .blogspot.com/

We've Moved

2009-06-06T09:41:00.000-07:00

Our New Blog is called Avenging Jack Murphy: Click Here

Alternative Sports on the Tube/Laughing your Ass off/Week in Review/The Future of this Blog

2009-05-31T22:45:00.000-07:00

Where to begin? Let's get right to the sport of watching television. In the last three days I've seen three of the funniest things ever---busting my gut, coughing, tears flowing from the eyes. I must share and I don't feel in the least bit guilty that these videos are off of our topic of sports. This is sport!

DATING:
For those who enjoy watching train-wreck television we bring you Daisy of Love. What happens when you lock up a bunch of dudes in a house with an unlimited supply of alcohol and they irresponsibly leave the patio doors wide open? Naturally, a skunk will wander in to house and drunks will try to trap it. What ensues is the funniest shit you will ever see (think Stand By Me during Gordy's tale about Lard-Ass and the pie eating contest.....)

FIGURE SKATING:
I had never seen the Will Ferrell film Blades of Glory and I still haven't. But I did watch one scene and I believe it was the first time they skated together in competition. In searching for a video that best captured the same disaster on ice that I witnessed, I settled on this one. It also has the perfect song to go along with it. Enjoy.

MOTHER LOVING:
This was the Justin Timberlake/Andy Samberg follow up to Dick In A Box. It originally aired a few weeks back for Mother's Day and then I saw it at the beginning of the week.....and then it re-aired last night. Perhaps not as good as D.I.A.B but hilarious none the less...

SDSU AZTECS:
Stephen Strasburg got his first loss of the year on Friday night against Virginia in the opening game of the Irvine Regional. Dude pitched like crap.....gave up two runs.....only struck out 15. At least he went out guns blazing.SDSU was eliminated tonight by the UCI Anteaters who are facing UVA as we write and looking to force another game against the Cavs tomorrow. I'd like to see Irvine representing SoCal in Omaha so we'll throw our support behind the Uncircumcised Penises of UCI. For more on SDSU's season you should go to 619 Sports.

PADRES:
Padres went 3-3 on their road trip this week to maintain their .500 winning percentage. Jake Peavy is still a Padre. Adrian Gonzalez is destroying National League pitching--hit his 20th HR today and The Effect picked up his 15th save after blowing one last night. While there has been talk of when Jake Peavy will be dealt and not if, SI.com's Jon Heyman proposes that the Padres would be much better off dealing Adrian Gonzalez. It pains me to say it but he's right. AG's contract is so cheap relative to his talent (Gold Glover and potential HR leader) that the Friar's could get a boat load for him. Not to mention that we have two 1b prospects as well as the possibility that with the 3rd pick in the draft we might take a kid out ofUNC who plays...1b. I'd hate to see him go though.....he's a guy who could end up being like Gwynn: Synonymous with the San Diego Padres. A legitimate retired #....unlike Winfield and Garvey.

In addition to trying to write entertaining blogs I also try to collect and gather other good examples from the field. I came across a great blog by a Twins fan called The Daily Something. Great analysis and a nice little piece on the mystery that is The David Eckstein Love Fest. It's a reasonable question to ask of a player who's hitting .220 but has been described by GM Kevin Towers as our 2009 MVP. I did my best to explain it to him in thatblog's comment section....maybe you could add something about the little fella.

More Peavy trade potential as well as the downward spiral of Khalil Greene from SI.com's Jon Heyman.....poor guy. And to think I actually thought that the Padres could have held him until July and sold high...waiting 'til July would have got us a bag of balls and a case of Budweiser from the Cards.

VOTE FOR MANNY:
Other good blogs I came across: It is about the money, stupid and Vote For Manny. Both of which come from a New York blogger named Jason Rosenberg. The former is his primary site and the latter is a little movement to get Manny into the All-Star game. Purpose: to shed light on the stupidity of the whole process as well as to make Bud Selig acknowledge thePED issue as it pertains to Manny being elected while serving a suspension. It's a great idea on many levels the least of which is to show how bogus the selection process is (Suspended playerManRam is running in 4th place so as an OF he needs to move up one spot where as Adrian Gonzalez is running in about 8th place....PEOPLE...He plays in a pitcher's park and has 20 bombs! Do The Right Thing!). I wrote a post on it so go read it and then sit on-line for 10 minutes and cast 25 votes for Manny Ramirez and Adrian Gonzalez. BTW: Manny Ramirez is an unequivocal A--HOLE!

CHARGERS:
SI.com's Jim Trotter writes about some Running Backs who he thinks are on the rebound in '09......take a guess....

NFL NEWS:
A good site for NFL/Entertainment news is FJuice @ nfljuice.com, and it's not just because we got linked from there. If you want a great way to start the day check out Morning Wood....isn't that the way everyday should start?

THE FUTURE:
We have changed our URL and exported all of our posts to a new site. The current URL is shite and was never intended to be a long term address primarily because we never really intended to do this long term. Anyways, the new address will honor San Diego sporting history as well as explain why we're even doing this....aside from the fact that all parties involved are somewhat crazy. Await word, ye Faithful Eleven.

We Endorse the "Vote For Manny" Blog

2009-05-28T02:30:00.000-07:00

Satire is good.

Through humor, eyes are pried wide open. Satire promotes inquiry. It can even be a catalyst for change. When we discuss "change" it is not in the political context of "Change we can believe in"......no, the change we have in mind is not some ubiquitous slogan which was put through market research groups, approved, and printed in mass.

No, the change some of us are looking for is not in the abstract but the concrete......wet concrete......and to mix our metaphors we'll just say, the sloppy sort of wet concrete mess you might find in the shorts of Commissioner Bud Selig as the 2009 All star game approaches. Hard ball fans: we bring to your awareness.....

www.voteformanny.blogspot.com

A clever blog by a NY fan/writer/polemicist whose purpose is to promote the selection of Manny Ramirez INTO the All Star game via fan vote......but not for the reasons you think. This venture is strictly a means to an end for we, the fans of the game.

The idea: to force Bud Selig's hand in having to acknowledge and then address the possibility of a positive testing player (Performance Enhancing Drugs) making the all-star team. As San Diegans we saw a similar situation and the firestorm that ensued back in '05 when Shawne Merriman made the Pro Bowl after having served a 4 game steroid suspension. We are presented with a fantastic opportunity sport fans. Do not let the possibility of that Dread-head douche occupying left field in Busch Stadium deter you from forcing the issue.

There are those that will argue that voting for Manny, who is currently running fourth in the voting, will only prevent a more deserving player from earning a spot:

Raul has been solid. You need not worry. Mr. Selig will do the right thing.

Sorry. Sometimes you must destroy something beautiful to rebuild it correctly. Without pain there can not be gain. Insert any other metaphor you'd like but the bottom line is that the drug issue must be confronted on a national platform and more likely than not Raul Ibanez would thank you for providing him a nice little vacation during the middle of an arduous season.

There are those that will argue that this sort of measure will only serve to further damage the image of MLB:

C.J. has tarnished his own image. Edit twice...publish once my friend.

See previous argument. MLB already has two black eyes and they've been achieved under the stewardship of Commissioner Selig. This could be an opportunity for Bud to do the right thing by implementing a policy shift that illustrates an act of good faith for MLB's fans (i.e. banning Manny and all future positive testers from All-Star games and to take it a step further---ban these players from eligibility for individual season awards----this would show that he takes the PED issue seriously).

Lastly there are those who just don't quite understand the literary device of satire....

No....insanity is responding to things you disagree with at 3:30 AM

....or you don't know how to read and instead resort to inferences based on the titles of blogs you look at-- and please notice that we use the words "look at" and not "read". Hopefully one day you'll get it and when you do, "it'll be the most beautiful day of your life." A Durdian moment to be sure.

Vote Manny in so that Bud can vote him out. Exact some Change We Can Believe In: Vote on-line for Manny Ramirez and visit the blog created in his "honor". Vote For Manny Blog

Los Angeles Dodgers Website for Direct Voting and Ballot Box Stuffing.

**Comments courtesy of nit wits visiting the Vote For Manny Blog.

Dear Patriot Tears

2009-05-26T15:16:00.000-07:00

According to the Daily Mail, via the website FJuice (click for a great GIF of Gisele modeling/knocked up):

"Gisele Bundchen and her new husband Tom Brady haven’t wasted any time following their February wedding - the supermodel is reportedly already pregnant."

Dear Patriot Tears

You are screwed! Zoolander has had it easy so far because kiddo#1 is living on the West Coast with mommy far away from daddy. But I'm here to tell you that the record breaking offense of 2007 is a relic of the past. Henceforth, Tom Terrific will be operating on very little sleep during valuable game-planning preparations thus leading to extraordinary inefficiencies in their Death Star offense.

Those little rascals are demanding and tiring!!! Is Tom ready to redefine his existence as a human Kleenex...... a means to an end for an endlessly runny infant's nose during the bitter northeastern winter months? If so, New England, you're doomed!

Of course, Tom could become an absentee father, utilize their overflowing funds on a nanny....and be well rested for 2009......what say you, History?

Movie Quotes Will Explain This Winning Streak...maybe?

2009-05-25T21:55:00.000-07:00

The difficult thing about blogging the baseball season is the short shelf life of each thought. Before you can implement an idea from a game the next one has passed. All I really want to talk about is the Padres sweep of the Cubs but here we are on Memorial Day having witnessed the Padres extend their winning streak to 10 games with a late rally and extra inning victory. Oh who cares, there's only 11 of you reading anyway and China's access is restricted so I'll have at it......

The recent 9-0 home stand coupled with today's defeat of the D-Backs brings to mind two movies that may best describe the prevailing feeling Padre fans should be having:

PULP FICTION. The Character; Winston Wolf. The Scene: Vincent and Jules have just cleaned all of the fragments of Marvin's skull from the back of their get away car. The blood has been sopped up, the blankets are covering the upholstery, Travolta & Jackson look like a "couple of dorks", and they are confident that The Wolf has helped them escape certain incarceration. The Quote: "Well, let's not start suckin' each other's dicks quite yet." Now I've referenced this quote before and for good reason......it would be unwise considering San Diego's sporting history to get too excited over nothing. Not to be a wet blanket (or the damp throw pillow that my daughter just gacked on...true story) but it would be wise to remember that our 'book collection' has two fantastic 'book ends': A 9-3 start and our recent 10-0 run for a phenomenal 19-3 mark. But here's the problem..... all of the 'books' on the shelf are absolute SHITE!......think Jack Kerouac collection minus On the Road and Dharma Bums. The math on that is 4-19.....refer back to quote by The Wolf.
MAJOR LEAGUE. The Character; Jake Taylor. The Scene: Cleveland Indians squad is assembled in clubhouse and has just been notified that the team was constructed to lose so that the team could be moved. Each player would be released, traded or sent to the minors at season's end. The Quote: "I guess there's only one thing left to do...win the WHOLE fuckin' thing." I know, I know....you wanted to hear Cerrano say how much he likes Jesus but he no help hit curve ball......I get it... but it doesn't fit my theme (click here) so go with me. To keep Peavy, do the Padres have no choice but to 'win the whole fuckin' thing'? The Friars' FO wants to trade Jake Peavy but it will be met with even greater resistance by our fledgling fan base if it is done while the team is above .500 and has a chance to compete. Could the FO be hoping that this streak ends so it can get back to the business of giving John Moores a palatable $40 million dollar payroll? Will GM Kevin Towers begin to redecorate the bullpen with more of the Edwin Morenos of the world in order to soften fan expectations thus allowing Jake to be jettisoned? That's an awfully cynical thought but we all know that Jake's going, merely a matter of when....but will they trade him if we're playing good ball? (this is all ridiculous speculation and more of an excuse to mention Major League)

Those are my movie analogies and here are my observations from Sunday's game which was a 7-2 victory over the Cubs. A personal victory of note for me as the Friar's had dropped the 10 previous games I attended.

I am a completely moronic child every time I see this name:

Fuk-U-Do-Me......I laugh every time I see it in print and then I proceed to read this guy's name phonetically...every time. I am a MORON. It's like any time I've ever mentioned the word Duty in front of a teenager (such as: You have a duty to complete this task). All the teenager hears is doody....."Huh-Huh.....he said Doody." I am that same little teenage idiot every time I see Kosuke Fukudome play baseball. Sorry.
Padre entertainment coordinators. Don't play Twist and Shout when the Cubs are in town...too Ferris Bueller's Day Off after he caught the foul ball during the game at Wrigley and then found his way on to the float in the Downtown Chicago parade. It's bad enough we're outnumbered every series those guys ever play here......don't make them feel anymore at home. Also ix nay any Smashing Pumpkins song.....they hail from Chicago....gotta think of these things.
Always show footage of Garvey hitting the HR in 1984 when the Cubs are in town......it actually won't piss off that many people because they aren't even from Chicago, they're from Huntington Beach. I know because I was talking to them. Curse WGN's national reach!
A batting avg. around .200 during 9-0 home stand. Really?
Memo: Chicago Cubs fans who wear Chicago Bears jerseys to games in San Diego: If you decide to wear your Richard Dent #95 and guy wearing Padres jersey comes up to you and says, "The Sack Man's comin'," don't look at him like he's a crazy methhead from Lakeside but instead reply with, "I'm your man Dent," and then I'll continue the dance with, "If the Quarterback's slow he's gonna get bent," and then I'll be impressed with you instead of you looking like an ill-informed Jag-off. That's right.....YOU looked like the Jagoff.
I do not like being outnumbered in our home park. It bothers me. On account of this uneasy feeling acquired when the Cubs visit, with all due respect to family members of mine who are Cub fans, I shall share the following sentiment: I have a strong dislike for The Lovable Losers...OK, I hate them. Take solace Chicagoans as it is not the same kind of hate I have for the Patriots.
Finally.....watch out Dodgers!?? Not really but they are actually in our sights now.

Mailbag: The Soul of Civil Disobedience

2009-05-24T23:45:00.000-07:00

Precursor to The Great Fire Wall of China

Since we've cut down our posting a bit in recent weeks we'll take this opportunity to give you a cheap post: it's called Mailbag. We field all comments and suggestions and these were all based on our post Steely Moments in Civil Disobedience. Here it goes....

It's good to see you using your powers for good and not evil.
-Blue
Thank you Blue. We'd like to think that we are purveyors of high-minded, principled commentary with a conscience. Although we'll settle for the low-browed hypocrisy as well.....you know that better than anyone.

Congrats M#$%,

Your rant is not allowed here in China!

The Great Fire Wall did not allow it: (.

-Ollie
What an honor! 86'ed from an entire country! Well I wish you could have read it Ollie but alas the Great Fire Wall has 1 billion minds to protect from incendiary insight and.....wait a minute! We've had people from China (as we check our google analytics) view our site before...........ahhhh-ha!

This post was banned presumably because of a certain name that was slipped in as a primary example of political/sporting fusion: Gold Medalist Speed Skater Joey Cheek. After his political activism in Turin, Italy at the 2006 Winter Olympiad he went on the radar of future Olympic organizers such as China. With China's tacit support of Sudan's genocide in Darfur through guns for oil, the last thing China would want is a rebel-rouser like Cheek visiting during such a public showcase such as the Olympics. Promptly, Cheek's visa was rejected, and he never made the trip last August........this post mentions Cheek's name so we'll guess that The Great Fire Wall will also crush this piece of resistance like so many nomadic invaders of the previous two millenia. I feel so warm and fuzzy.....proud really.

AIC
Extremely well written,unfortunately with the lack of "hot ass" I question if said blogger truly understands his audience.
In the future I would make the effort to find a lusty swimmer, gymnast, or volleyball player protesting sexism, political intolerance or cruelty to beavers and plaster any and all revealing photos all over the blog.
Just this man's (married) humble opinion.
-Mark
Noted, Mark. It was absentminded of us to not include the politically active women of sport so without further adieu, we present Billy Jean King. It was back in 1973 that Bobby Riggs proclaimed that his "maleness" made him superior to female player Billy Jean King thus leading them to spar in the "Battle of the Sexes" at the Houston Astrodome. Ms. King took up the mantle and successfully battled the pervasive sexism of the day. It is because of her that not just female tennis players owe her a debt of gratitude but all of today's female athletes who are able to make a comfortable living through athletics. In lieu of Billy Jean King pictures we'll instead provide you with her beneficiaries:

Maria Sharapova-Tennis

Anna Kournikova-Tennis

Natalie Coughlin-Swimming

Amanda Beard-Swimming

Logan Tom-Volleyball

We salute you, Billy Jean King.

Do The Right Thing

2009-05-23T22:30:00.000-07:00

It's the Thighnal over at Sharapova's Thigh and we have Krystal Forscutt (Aussie on top) versus Keeley Hazell (Brit on bottom). Look at the pictures and guess who's winning......

Trust me....She's pasty! You'll see it if you get to the Thigh.

....wrong!

Somehow people are picking the pasty big boobed girl over the tanned big boobed girl. Tis a travesty so make like Mookie and Do The Right Thing.
2009 Hot Ladies Tournament Championship Game

Editors Note:
Amazingly the Padres have won 8 in a row....haven't checked it but I think they have averaged 3 runs per game during stretch. How the hell does that happen? Smoke and mirrors.

Unfortunately Matt Serra lost to Matt Hughes after nearly knocking him out in the first round. Hughes has become (or became quite some time ago) this Favre-ian type "every man" who does half of his UFC photo-ops in front of a tractor. To his Illinois farm will Hughes retire one day. Gimme a break. Midwestern farmers are humble people....Matt Hughes is a braggart....and a cock.....and in the words of Matt Serra, "He's a dick!".

Lyoto Machida is a bad man. I gave him a slight edge over Rashad Evans but he ended up punishing him......severely. The Light-heavy belt has changed hands in like five consecutive fights---Machida-Evans-Griffin-Jackson-?Lidell?--- ......who knows? I could see The Dragon defending for a while......although the 205 lb division is pretty stacked.

Oh yea.....the Padres won....again! In case you didn't believe me earlier.

Steely Moments in Civil Disobedience

2009-05-18T22:30:00.000-07:00

Long have I been a fan of civil disobedience as showcased in the arena of sports.

Some argue for a disconnect between our entertainment and politics...... this is an opinion I wholeheartedly respect. It is akin to the notion that talking religion or politics is poor form whilst throwing back case after case of Pabst Blue Ribbon at the local watering hole. While it is the spectator's opinion that I respect it is the sportsman's courage and representation of civic duty that I truly admire.

It goes back, for me, to that iconic image from Mexico City in 1968. Seeing Tommy Smith and John Carlos, with black sheathed fists thrust skywards, draped in the symbols of 400 years of oppression, was an historic human moment......one that also angered a country in the throws of change:

Tommy Smith recounted, "If I win, I am American, not a black American. But if I did something bad, then they would say I am a Negro. We are black and we are proud of being black. Black America will understand what we did tonight."

Whether or not you agreed with the sentiments conveyed by Smith and Carlos you had to admire the expression by a free people, despite it taking place on an Olympic stage that is designed to be apolitical.

A long line of athletes involved with politics would continue to emerge on a national stage. From Rosey Grier wrestling Sirhan Sirhan to the ground after the RFK assassination to Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf (aka Chris Jackson) turning his back during the National Anthem before games in the Association. It would be easy to call the former heroic and the latter reprehensible but it is the willingness to involve oneself in the debate or to simply create the debate by standing up for a belief that is of greatest import (although it is worth noting that to make millions in the NBA while admonishing the country that provides the same opportunity is hypocrisy in it's worse form).

It is , no doubt, our recent history that has laid the groundwork for the most politically inspired. The inspired ranks have now swelled to include Pittsburgh Steeler James Harrison who recently refused to accept the invitation by President Obama to attend the annual Super Bowl Champions' visit. I would like to think that the Defensive Player of the Year sat wistfully in front of the television during the 2006 Winter Olympiad and found his inspiration from Gold Medalist Speed Skater Joey Cheek who donated his medal bonus to an international humanitarian organization. This organization, called Right to Play, had been established by another gold medal winning speed skater named Johann Olav Koss. Such selfless acts by men who's political associations could serve to tarnish reputations long in the making.

see labels...says it all

It is from the specter of these great athletes that Harrison manifests himself. He is not protesting President Obama's ill advised appointment of a poorly vetted Tom Daschle for Health and Human Services. Nor is he chiding #44 for appearances on Al Jazeera television to discuss Middle East relations. These are not Harrison's issues......his White House ire has been stirred by something much deeper. In Harrison's own words:

"This is how I feel -- if you want to see the Pittsburgh Steelers, invite us when we don't win the Super Bowl. As far as I'm concerned, he [Obama] would've invited Arizona if they had won," said Harrison.

Well said James.

The audacity of Obama with his flimsy 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue invites! When lines are drawn in the sand Americans must, to paraphrase Eldridge Cleaver, "choose whether they will be a part of the problem or the solution." The scope of this issue is too grand to find your self on the wrong side. Thank you, Mr. Harrison for continuing the tradition of athletes putting themselves on the line and taking up courageous positions on some of the most harrowing causes of our time, and arguing them so succinctly.

We're with the Defensive Player Of the Year.

Adrian Gonzalez will make you spill beer

2009-05-13T21:12:00.000-07:00

When you have a lead you gotta get after hitters..... but seriously.....why would you ever give Adrian Gonzalez a strike? One blast last night and two tonight....really?

AG is legit, and should NEVER see a strike based on the ground-chuck surrounding him. But thanks anyways Cubs, et al. He's about all we've got so thanks for letting him play. The pride of San Diego.

In Memoriam

2009-05-11T21:00:00.000-07:00

Memo
To: America
From: Red Blooded Males
Re: Dancing With The Stars

WTF America? Julianne Hough is an amazing dancer! How could you have voted her off two weeks ago? She was technically superior despite that stiff of a partner/boyfriend, Chuck Wicks.... yet here I am, refusing to watch sports on Monday nights!

I'm done with you, voters of America! I'll wait for So You Think You Can Dance. In memoriam...

Swept by the 'Stros

2009-05-10T21:14:00.001-07:00

The Dodger's losing Manny for 50 games doesn't do the Padres a whole lot of good when they can't even pitch. I think the following excerpt from Craig Elsten at 619 Sports really says it all:

"The Padres have what you could call a top-heavy staff, maybe Dolly Parton-style top-heavy. Peavy and CY are great, but what lies below is of concern. In the 'pen, it's Bell and oh Hell."

Does anything else need to be said? "In the 'pen, it's Bell and oh Hell."
Bell and oh Hell. It's been said....I will sleep now.

Editor's Note:
Kyle Blanks has started playing LF with the Portland Beavers...that's a nice piece of fish.
Experiment begins with Blanks in left [SD Union-Tribune]

Aztec Sacrifices Falcons

2009-05-08T21:53:00.000-07:00

Stephen Strasburg cut down Air Force this evening to the tune of 17 Ks and......ZERO hits! That's right, an Aztec no-no. Go to 619 Sports where Chris Ello spoke with Strassy and Tony Gwynn, post-game.

Magical Strasburg Moment: No-Hits Air Force [619 Sports]

Too Steep of "Mountains" for Alba to Climb

2009-05-08T00:00:00.000-07:00

In The Sports World:
Shunned for cutting her bangs and birthing a child, Jessica Alba was handily defeated by a 22 year old Brit at the 2009 Hot Ladies Tournament. This Sports Blog wept...the cause taken up too late in the game.

The task was daunting....like asking Sir Edmund Hillary to climb Everest without oxygen or his Sherpa, Tenzing Norgay....in TWO days no less! To overcome a 24 point deficit with this country's current state of voter apathy? For even the staunchest of Alba party supporters, these were Mountains far too grand to scale. I am however, proud of OUR efforts and His Holiness The Dalai Lama would have been touched by the Eleventh Hour pull to save his Co-Spiritual Adviser.

It was an upmountains battle and the polling over the last two days shook out like this:

Only a 1% increase but the reason never could have been more obvious....

Can Man be faulted for choosing Keeley Hazell? We think not.

We appreciate the supporters of this site and their efforts to maintain the privileged status of our Spiritual Sage.

Also a special thanks to The World's Ombudsmen for rallying the East Coast Contingent. Cheers.

For the remainder of the 2009 Thighnal Four: Sharapova's Thigh

From Bennifer to Mannywood

2009-05-07T23:30:00.000-07:00

I took time out to think yesterday.

Yes. Between strategy sessions for boosting Jessica Alba's Thighnal Four possibilities I began to think about something other than the Memphis Tigers-like thrashing Ms. Alba was being served in the 2009 Hot Ladies Tournament. Let us be candid....while the hot ladies are good sport we needed something with, I don't know, a little more balls....

Like a spider monkey cavorting down the avenues of my mind came the following: Bennifer-Brangelina- TomKat -BenJen-Billary......oh please stop, mind..... the dreaded celebrity super-couple uni-name. I curse that Masshole Ben Affleck and J-Lo for ever opening the door to overexposed combo names..... but the real question is why on Earth would that inane topic be blighting my mind?

Which brings us full circle to sports and the current union of names: Manny Ramirez and Hollywood went forth, fornicated and left us with the dirty afterbirth known as: Mannywood.

I thought of the idiocy of this combo-name in great detail yesterday: great detail constituted 1 minute and 29 seconds where my thought's exclamation point was a resounding, "Fuck'n' Hell!". Does everything need to be reduced to a cute little name? Apparently so. Such a creative lot are we. But what I didn't realize was that the cutsie name was actually a LAtrine promotion. When did I find this out? Well today of course.....

Manny Ramirez was suspended for a whopping 50 games for steroids! Another fraud exposed.

I don't think Manny could get wood.....hence the female fertility drug.... ahhh, the side effects of steroids.

According to ESPN 800 Mannywood is the left field section where Jag-offs can purchase an overpriced ticket ($99--clever) and a Manny T-shirt. What to do Los Angeles, now that your Pajama wearing LF is on the rack trying to get his testicles to return to normal without using a banned female fertility drug? The Los Angeles Times reported and we copied and pasted:

Ramirez tested positive during spring training for "a banned performance-enhancing substance that is not technically an anabolic steroid," according to a source not authorized to speak publicly about the issue.

The substance, identified by the source as human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG), could legitimately be prescribed for a man who does not naturally produce enough testosterone, according to a high-ranking sports doping authority. But HCG often is used as an antidote to diminished testosterone levels at the end of a cycle of steroid treatments, said BALCO founder and convicted steroid dealer Victor Conte.

HCG is one of dozens of substances prohibited under baseball's drug policy. Players can call a hotline to check on the legality of any substances, and they can obtain a therapeutic use exemption for any legitimate medical use of a banned substance.

"This is failing more than a drug test," Conte said. "This is failing an IQ test.

Well....my friend Boston (from Boston) always said, "Manny's a fucking moron!". That was even when the Sox were winning a 2007 World Series.

The truly sad part of this entire ordeal is not that one more hero of our generation* has fallen, disgracing himself and our National Pastime but that, absent Manny Ramirez, the Padres STILL don't have a chance at the division!!

What's up with Edwin Moreno? That guy was clearly decomposing at the bottom of the dumpster that Kevin Towers found him in.

*The greatest right handed hitter in the game....it's not quite Pujols yet....very close though.....did you know that Albert Pujols carries a Louis Vitton man purse? Saw it with my own two eyes as he walked through the Gaslamp in 2006. Es La Verdad.)

Jessica Alba needs your help...

2009-05-06T06:45:00.000-07:00

Those in the "know" recognize Jessica Alba as one of the spiritual advisers to this site.....she now calls on your aid, a Sage in need.

Chicago sports blog, Sharapova's Thigh, has been running a March Madness style tournament for hot ladies, appropriately titled: 2009 Hot Ladies Tournament. Jessica Alba is a number one seed and has reached The Elite Eight....where she's currently being crushed by the number 2 seed, a Big Breasted Brit named Keeley Hazell.

I won't stoop so low as to appeal to jingoism in attempting to defeat the British Bombshell. Don't let national origins sway you......or gigantic, errr...boxing gloves.

I shall appeal only to reason...your reason. Jessica Alba is a beacon of light during the most dire of times.....she is a symbol...of all that ever was good and will be again (James Earl Jones as Terrence Mann in Field of Dreams). Reason, Ladies and Gentlemen. Reason.

I urge you to perform your civic duty. Vote and nullify the corrupted Chicago political machine. Push Ms. Alba on to the Final Four.

An Alba defeat could very well lead to the spontaneous combustion of this site........think about it. The below standings are unacceptable(only counting my vote once?!)!

Vote for Alba @ Sharapova's Thigh [Click]

That is a nice piece of fish...very dependable

2009-05-05T23:30:00.000-07:00

I apologize to the Faithful Eleven*. You are a small but devoted contingent and you deserve better than the infrequency of my random posts. But I'm here to proclaim that your visit shall pay dividends tonight. You are about to gain access to the official catch phrase of this blog......one of those little insider-only-isms.....and here it is:

That is a nice piece of fish....very dependable.

Yes.....I find the Jack-in-the-Box commercial for Mini Buffalo Ranch Chicken Sandwiches one of the funniest things going. That old man in the body wrap blanket waxing nostalgic about a McDonald's filet-o-fish sandwich kills me. What? You don't get it? Neither does my wife and that's ok....let's explain:

It's funny, no explanations needed. There are currently no internet representations of this commercial so you're forced to take my word on its awesomeness....the following You Tube video should be convincing enough as to all-around general comedy found in Jack commercials:

Now that you're a believer, how is it that you can incorporate our catch phrase into daily living? Quite simple really. Anything that is "good" should be modified as follows: That banned Jack commercial was dope! It's a good piece of fish...very dependable.
Let's try some more.....Heath Bell just pitched the 9th and 10th struck out FOUR, got the win and broke our losing streak: Nice piece of fish...very dependable.

Can you believe that Jessica Alba just had a baby? Look at that body! That is a nice piece of fish...very dependable.

Very Dependable

or......
How about that weather today? 74 degrees and breezy! San Diego: A nice piece of fish....very dependable.
This blog, brother? A nice piece of fish....very dependable (working on the dependable component). You get the point.

Go forth, Faithful Eleven, and propagate our message. We look forward to hearing this phrase reach critical mass across the 28 countries we've been exposed to....man up, Slovenia!

Become a part of the lexicon....2009's Truthiness.

*the Faithful Eleven is an arbitrary designation to those who check this blog frequently. It's not actually as low as eleven...on account of being huge in Europe's Eastern bloc.

Rearview Mirror.... (.500)

2009-05-03T22:16:00.000-07:00

John Cougar Mellencamp's "Crumblin' Down" seems the perfect song to describe our Padres. I don't know if the "walls" were ever truly up.....but they are tumblin' down. We were 9-3....we are 11-14.....I can't bare to do the math.....I do know that we were just swept by the Dodgers (that's a four game sweep).

Editor's note:
Fuck Ricky Hatton! You owe us $50 bucks, guy!

Who is this man?

2009-04-30T23:05:00.001-07:00

1.Who is this man?
a. Oakland Raider coach Tom Cable
b. Mr. Creamy Vanilla "T"
c. Cholla, Fearless Leader of The Black Widows
d. One of our Founding Fathers
e. The same a-hole featured in the post below (scroll down for a-hole-douche-baggery)

Great Moments in Humanhood

2009-04-30T14:50:00.001-07:00

What kind of draft analysis do you think this guy would provide. A great moment in fackin' Humanhood.

English sounds good on the radio (no pun)

2009-04-28T21:56:00.000-07:00

I said that I would scream at the TV had we taken Knowshon Moreno or Beanie Wells with our first round pick last Saturday. Running back was not a need in 2009. We want to win a Super Bowl in 2009.....get us players that will be the means to that end, AJ.

Then we used the 16th pick to draft a pass rush specialist? Is something wrong with Merriman (aside from the fact that when his contract expires it is believed he will be allowed to walk to get his "Albert Haynesworth-type" compensation else where)? No shouting at the TV...bewilderment and betrayal, yes.

Why an OLB? Who's Larry English? What were people posting on the UT message boards? Most everyone was pissed as they continued to clamor for Rey Maualuga.....(incidentally Maualuga turned out to be the one of the most overrated things going into the draft as he plummeted to #38 where he was taken by the Criminality Bengals). Given time to think about the English pick however, I have surmised the following:

This is Ron Rivera's unit now. If there is anyone who can utilize the skills of Larry English it is the man who cut his teeth under 46 Guru, Buddy Ryan. The 1985 Bears were the first team to truly bring the house....we'll bring so many athletes at the QB from so many different angles/directions/gaps that your QB will crap himself.....the result: sack/hurried pass/int.....pick your poison. Don't believe Larry English can strike fear into the opposition? Look at the fear in this Gopher's eyes:

The eyes say it all:.......awwwww fuuuuu-dge!

I have to believe that if they find ways to get English on the field our defense could return to being a devastating unit. We have the fastest corner in the league in Antonio Cromartie (although he might not actually be very good) and one of the better cover corners in Quentin Jammer......man up and bring the house!!!!

Of course if none of that happens and the English pick was solely for the purpose of replacing Merriman when his contract expires then I ........ well, I'll probably yell at the TV.

Anyways, I heard Larry English on with Scott & BR right after his coach from NIU, Larry Kill. I was impressed. It sounds like we've got a talented football player who is also a pretty quality guy. So at least we've got that going for us....

Here's some audio from the last two days:

NIU Head Coach Larry Kill on XX1090 [Scott & BR-Monday]
1st Round Pick-Larry English [Scott & BR-Monday]
4th Round Pick/Project-Gigantic Canadian/Jamaican Vaughn Martin [Darren Smith-Monday]

AJ Smith on XTRA Sports 1360 [Josh and Brian-Monday]
3rd round pick, G Luis Vazquez [Josh and Brian-Monday]

The English Debate and kool-aid drinking [619 Sports-Tuesday]
Looking at the Picks on day two of the draft [619 Sports-Tuesday]

Padres Week 3: Rough Weekend @ The $9 buck cup

2009-04-27T10:00:00.000-07:00

Three weeks down and the Padres are sitting 2 above .500---2 1/2 behind LA. It could be worse. The disappointing news is in that we were swept by the Giants (only a 2 game set) and then dropped a series to the Pirates at home.....our pitcher's park....where Jake Peavy can't seem to....well, pitch! The Padres are over .500 and Jake is under .500 (2-3).

While the team is beginning to come back to earth they still exhibit elements of entertaining baseball whether it be the fundamentals (moving runners over, backing up positions), hustle (see David Eckstein), sound hitting (Adrian Gonzalez crushed one like no other ever hit at The Bark, yesterday) or the youth movement (Headley, Hundley,--insert bullpen pitcher here--, the injured Evereth Cabrera). Those are all positive things and when coupled with good prices they are reasons to stay on the bandwagon.

More interesting Padre bits and pieces:

Geoff Young looking at the last week and the overuse of a certain pitch by a certain pitcher, in his column Eight Sliders Sliding [Ducksnorts]

Padre Unis....after all, a Friar does wear a brown robe not Blue [The Sacrifice Bunt]

A struggling Peavy and yesterday's debacle against the Pirates [San Diego UT]

A podcast by Craig Elsten and Chris Ello regarding the Padres "surging" (tongue-in-cheek) to a power ranking of #10 in MLB [619 Sports]

Three game set against the Rockies gets going at 5;40 pm today.....Chris Young must right the ship.

More English

2009-04-25T16:14:00.000-07:00

Larry English Info:

"The Chargers' selection of OLB Larry English is legitimately shocking for a variety of reasons."
Read more at:[San Diego Bolt Report]

Larry English @ #16

2009-04-25T15:40:00.000-07:00

Was OLB a need (Merriman and Phillips)? Looks good on video...

Twitter...it's all down hill from here

2009-04-25T14:30:00.000-07:00

Teamwork on the Savanna

2009-04-24T15:05:00.000-07:00

These Oxpeckers need this Zebra......and it needs them. They make excellent use of each other. As the Oxpecker eats ticks and parasites off of the Zebra, the beast thanks them for the pest control. These birds also serve as a warning signal for any potential threats on the savanna. Hmmm......

By a landslide...

2009-04-24T11:55:00.001-07:00

Charger Fans just say, "Rey!"

Conjure up the 1999 Draft? Let's not, Charger Fans

2009-04-23T22:15:00.000-07:00

Remember the 1999 NFL Draft? Donovan McNabb booed mercilessly by an unrelenting Philadelphia Eagle fan base. That 1st round pick worked out all right, didn't it?

Because I don't get the opportunity to watch college football I can't speak with too much authority on players that will be picked early on Saturday.....my draft expertise is a derivative of the alleged "experts". The only times I've paid real close attention to the draft was '98, '01 and '04....

We know how 1998 turned out.....

Back in 2001 as I read the papers leading up to the draft there was one Mantra I preached: "Trade out of the #1 slot! DO NOT pick Michael Vick!" That worked.

The Elisha Manning Incident of '04.......so we got Rivers, Merriman, and Kaeding: All Good!

Which brings us to April 25th, 2009.......with talk of the proverbial "window of opportunity" closing the Chargers have a grip of holes that need filling: OL, DL, MLB, SS. Could a Superbowl even be won without shoring up the Line on each side of the ball? So who do we continue to hear about from the "experts", as likely selections with the 16th pick?......RBs, Beanie Wells and Knowshon Moreno. If AJ Smith opts for one of these tail-backs then:

I
Will
Booooooooooooooooooo
My Father's
Brand New
"72 Television

....as though it were a 3-Dimensional representation of human life! I will boo like a a little cry baby toolbox! I will do my best impersonation of Eagle Fan c.1999 and scream bloody murder at Roger Goodell and any RUNNING BACK WHO SHAKES HIS HAND on that God Forsaken stage!

I don't know who the answer is except who it is not. We restructured LT's contract and franchised Darren Sproles and 1st round money to a RB spells DOOM in 2009. Don't do it AJ!

If they take Rey Maualuga.... I'll clap my hands together hard two times.
If AJ trades down in the 1st to acquire a 2nd round pick I'll pump my fist once and in a moderately enthusiastic timbre, articulate "Yes!!".
If it's Moreno or Wells then Dad and guests get "Ridiculous Eagle Fan" impersonation......of course I could change my tune.....10 tears later.

Ahhh....what do I know, anyways?

Who (or which position) is going to make you scold the TV?

Gone-zalez.....sorry, had to do it

2009-04-23T18:20:00.000-07:00

Big #88 has moved on and since we have pretty poor Safety play we'll go ahead and kneel, bow our heads, give the sign of the cross, and say.........thank God !!!!

Typical Quentin Jammer 'form tackle'......Typical Clinton Hart?

Chargers win in Gonzalez trade [UT-Bolts Blog]

Tranquil Teamwork

2009-04-23T17:59:00.000-07:00

These Clown fish need this anemone......and it needs them. They make excellent use of each other. Hmmm......

Effects of "The HBE"

2009-04-22T23:00:00.000-07:00

After many page views and a bit of bickering in the "Comments" section here's where we stand in the aftermath of the Heath Bell Effect:

The Good Reader was encouraged to arbitrarily take out their frustrations on Scott & BR regular Sid Rosenberg. Rosenberg being an East Coast based radio personality and Mets fan would serve as THEE symbol of bias for the following email:
Dear Sid:
We ruined your opening night and took the series from you....we know, we know...we listened to your interview with Scott & BR---"The Mets didn't take the series seriously"---"The Padres are an awful baseball team"---"We only have two players, and some guy named Headly who gets lucky every once in a while"---"And when the season's over the Padres will be where they belong...in last place".

Well let's look at last year: The (last place) Padres took 5 of 7 from the Mets and the Phillies won the East by 3 games....do the math and chew on that Mighty New York Fan. Your overpriced team will likely cave again and we'll just keep on battling....see you on August 8th!

Sidney Arthur Rosenberg responded as follows:
Love the enthusiasm. Good email. Factual and well written. But your team still sucks. Take care!

Nice! A good fella, that Sid. Hope we didn't crash your e-mail box (Suppose that 4 e-mails probably couldn't do it anyway...)

After Sid responded a heated discussion began to take place by one East Coast representative, one West-Coast apologist and of course yours truly. While attempts were made to actually have a debate the parties involved were so entrenched in their own viewpoints that an old quote came to mind:

"Arguing with a teenager is like mud wrestling with a pig — you both end up dirty but only the pig is happy!"

In either one of the above cases you fail to get anywhere substantive and it began to feel that way in regards to our media bias discussion......so I gracefully (as possible) bowed out. As the conversation became more spirited it eventually ended with the West Coast representative declaring that....I speak my mind and don't want to argue with idiots like you that have no common SENSE. But I sure would like to know where you live.

Ahh, the spirit of debate......so I got to thinking.....

It seems to be so intuitive that when you hear baseball news there are the Haves and Have Nots.....there are those teams that ESPN leads with (NYY, NYM, BOS, CHC) and then everybody else. Let's also be realistic in saying that EVERY team receives coverage but that it is doled out in lesser degrees relative to the big spending franchises. It should also be mentioned that it is ESPN's prerogative to continue with the inequity as long as they feel it is the most profitable course for them to continue on (although we disagree......if Baseball Tonight gave the Padres adequate coverage then I would watch it.....and then I would learn about some of the other "have-not" MLB teams thus leading me to be intrigued by some of the nightly ESPN broadcasts, which I might then watch. Clearly ESPN disagrees with us...).

.....back to what I was thinking. I needed to turn on ESPN radio and then check Baseball Tonight when I got home on Monday night....just to confirm that I was not crazy. What did I hear/see:

ON ESPN RADIO (4:15pm Monday)

Josh Beckett of the Red Sox and his suspension.
The high rate of balls flying out of Yankee Stadium.

Baseball Tonight on the radio would eventually discuss the Dodgers in detail (but who really cares about them?). At home I would turn on ESPN to find out that the game that was supposed to be on was Oakland at the new Yankee Stadium but it was postponed due to rain.....bonus coverage of the Braves....first highlight on Baseball Tonight: Red Sox winning for 6th consecutive time on Patriot Day. Tuesday morning I turned on Dan Patrick. He was talking about the HR balls flying out to right at Yankee Stadium and the prospects of bringing in an expert of some sort to analyze angles and slopes, blah, blah.

Is it really very far fetched to suggest that there are certain teams that receive more coverage than others? It's not even wrong that ESPN chooses to cover baseball this way....but it's intellectually dishonest not to acknowledge the facts.

What were other's saying? Geoff Young's Padre blog, Duck Snorts, said the following in his weekly column:
I love that Bell called out ESPN for covering three teams and ignoring the other 27. Everyone knew that already, but it’s cool to hear a big-league player acknowledge it. As I’ve said before, San Diego is not ESPN’s market. That’s not a complaint, it’s a fact. We have no use for each other. I would rather invest my time in “Millionaire Matchmaker” or “Cash Cab.” If I’m going to watch crap, it should be entertaining.
Do What You Cannot Do [Ducksnorts]

I agree...... Crap does need to be entertaining (hope this blog is doing the trick).

What about Craig Elsten and Chris Ello over at 619 Sports?

They had a great podcast on the topic with each taking a very different viewpoint on the matter. It was sensible and passionate and we encourage you to have a listen (they have a bunch of other good podcasts as well at their new site):
New Closer, New Song, New Attitude [619 Sports]

Going back to the email that I encouraged people to send out.....The email was meant to be a protest of unbalanced coverage of the "Big Dogs" on ESPN.....Heath Bell complained about the Padres getting very little run on Baseball Tonight but in reality this is not an issue solely related to the Padres. At the core it is more a matter of a vast majority of teams getting inequitable coverage from ESPN.

In the process of spreading the Gospel we were banned from our local Padre blog, Gaslamp Ball, because our enthusiasm runneth-ed over until it was technically classified as "Spamming"....ooops. We grovelled our way back into good graces.[Gaslamp Ball]

We were also unexpectedly approved for posting by the Executive Vice President of the Padres. Paul De Podesta let us sneak in at his blog:[It might be dangerous...you go first]

An interesting week it's been......and the Padres have dropped three in a row. Jake got banged yesterday and a 10 inning affair this afternoon in SF.

The Heath Bell Effect

2009-04-19T22:00:00.000-07:00

Below you'll find the Heath Bell Effect. What's that you say? It's what happens when he pitches and then opens his mouth: Padres win, people start talking.

After Bell saved game #1 in Citi Field's history he proceeded to bash ESPN's Baseball Tonight for never featuring the Padres and never even mentioning SD in the build-up to the Mets' opening night. Fair enough....we know that on the West Coast we play second fiddle. So I shall propose two things to you, San Diego Sports fan:

Check out the time-line below.....it is the chronology of The Heath Bell Effect.
After reading the chronology (and listening if you have the time) follow Heath Bell's lead and make a little noise....I have a suggestion.

April 14th: Heath Bell dogged ESPN in an interview with Scott & BR on Tuesday morning:
[XX1090-Audio]

April 16th: HB then went on Baseball Tonight and spoke with Karl Ravech:

Click:[ESPN Video Link]

April 17th: The following afternoon Baseball Tonight's Tim Kurkjian spoke with Darren Smith:

[XX1090-Audio]

April 17th: Miami radio personality Sid Rosenberg (a native New Yorker and Met Fan) and Scott & BR regular hooked up to talk about a few things...the last of which was a brief commentary on the Padres where he bashed them mercilessly!
[XX1090-Audio]

April 19th: Bell's remarks ring true about almighty ESPN
[Union Tribune-Nick Canepa]

That folks, is the Heath Bell Effect:

Heath Saves Games:
Heath Drops Mad Quotes:
People Start Talking About Heath....And The Padres.

This folks, is my proposal:

Let's E-mail Scott & BR's regular Radio Active guest: Sidney Arthur Rosenberg

Listening to that guy Rosenberg reminded me of Bleacher Bum Jordan (if you added a brain). Brash, loud, opinionated and completely New York-East Coast-Centric. He came off as an extension of the ESPN bias that Heath Bell justly attacked earlier in the week....so let us join Heath Bell in appealing to Common Sense......here's Sid Rosenberg's email address:

sidsback2001@yahoo.com

Dear Sid:
We ruined your opening night and took the series from you....we know, we know...we listened to your interview with Scott & BR---"The Mets didn't take the series seriously"---"The Padres are an awful baseball team"---"We only have two players, and some guy named Headly who gets lucky every once in a while"---"And when the season's over the Padres will be where they belong...in last place".

Well let's look at last year: The (last place) Padres took 5 of 7 from the Mets and the Phillies won the East by 3 games....do the math and chew on that Mighty New York Fan. Your overpriced team will likely cave again and we'll just keep on battling....see you on August 8th!

For those of you who are the regular rebel-rousing-Thomas Paine-types but lack the time required of a full-time insurrectionist: feel free to copy & paste the above gibberish. Or get creative as you keep in mind that the national information outlets think San Diego and its fans are a joke....so you don't have to be nice.

How many e-mails can we inundate ol' Sidney Arthur Rosenberg with?

Editor's Note: It appears that there is another component to The Heath Bell Effect......when someone else tries to close a game......it's kind of ugly. Well, you can't win 'em all. A great week had by both the Padres and....Dodgers.

It makes perfect sense

2009-04-18T23:00:00.000-07:00

Doesn't it make perfect season? When it comes time for a streak of 54 consecutive saves to end just call the 2009 edition of the San Diego Padres. Close to handing a lead to Heath Bell the pen coughs up the lead forcing the Padres to face Brad Lidge down a run.....the Brad Lidge who was PERFECT last year! No Problem.....

.....they faced him on Friday Night and did all right. Enter Jody Gerut and his lead-off double....

The final score will read Padres 8 Phillies 5.......people will note that Lidge blew his first save as a Phillie when Kevin Kouzmanoff touched him up for a 3-run bomb in the Citizen's Bank Bandbox....and then Heath Bell came on for his seventh save in 12 games. But make no mistake about when the defining moment of the game occurred: with Gerut at 2B and zero out in the 9th, David Eckstein came to the plate, and did what winners do.....put the ball in play....hit it hard.....and hit it to the right side of the diamond to advance the runner. Gerut would tie the game one hitter later when Brian Giles grounded to Ryan Howard.

Do you remember Opening Day against the Dodgers? Everyone was overjoyed with the Eckstein bunt in the 1st which would help cut the Dodger lead in half. Now we have the 9th inning ground out against Brad Lidge. Jody Gerut would have died at 2B in '08.....ya gotta love the little things!

Padres pound Lidge, top Phils [philly.com]

What a blast! Padres rally again to sink Phillies 8-5 [San Diego UT]

(Just saw the ESPN highlights.....showed the Gerut Double and the Giles ground out but nothing in between. It's alright Eck! We got your back!)

Playoff Basketball: Celtics v Bulls

2009-04-18T22:59:00.000-07:00

The Celtics lost game 1 to the Bulls....that's what matters.....we don't care what the score was.

Harry Kalas and a game 1 win in Philly

2009-04-17T23:00:00.000-07:00

Make that all "Phans" everywhere, Eric

We were curious whether or not the Philadelphia papers would be chastising their team for losing to the "lowly" team from San Diego.....they weren't.....the night in Philadelphia was more about the passing of announcer Harry Kalas. Whether it was hearing Kalas' voice on NFL Films or This Week In Baseball it was always a treat....what a great voice. Sounds like he was a pretty great guy too.

-Phils honor Kalas but lose game [philly.com]
-Harry Kalas Dies [philly.com].....linked stories
-Phillies fans honor broadcaster Kalas [San Diego UT]

In searching for disparaging remarks about "our Boys" we did find a funny headline regarding a Phillies prospect:

Prospect Bastardo adds to Phillies' bounty of left handers

...and how do you call someone a bastard in Spanish? We believe this is a prime example of a Spanish cognate........well he's made it this far so continued good luck Antonio.

Editor's note:
What a great win tonight! Down 7-1 to a powerful Phillies line-up only to battle back and TAKE the victory. Awesome! We love the emotion exhibited......the fist pumping and chest bumping after the Headly assist at home in the 8th......the Heath Bell fire on the mound after his 6th save. Good stuff guys...keep at it!

All We Need To Know About The NBA

2009-04-17T16:15:00.000-07:00

Kevin Garnett seems like a genuinely good guy in addition to being a hard nosed competitor so in that sense it's disappointing to see that he may have to miss the playoffs.

Boston Celtic's Kevin Garnett could miss post season
[Si.com]

However his injury does provide this blog, and the world, with some ancillary benefits:

-Of primary importance: Boston fans in misery....going on and on how they don't care anyway because the "Sawks" are playin' anyways. Front runners...

-Increased odds of getting a Kobe V. LeBron NBA Final.....we don't care too much about the NBA but we'd tune in to that series.

-Lastly but by no means least: Celtic girl photos to accompany frivolous story about professional league we just don't care too much about...Enjoy!

For more excellent NBA dance photos: [Extra Mustard]

My Irish Eyes are Smilin'

An Odyssey Yields Riches

2009-04-16T22:11:00.000-07:00

We haven't properly hated on the New England Patriots in a while so enjoy the following, courtesy of Sports Illustrated.com:

It's the Grinch's birthday. Happy B-Day you s.o.b.!
Editor's Note: (Friday 7:00AM)
Don't know EXACTLY how Twitter Works but apparently our site is on the Twitter page for "Patriot News".....which is fairly funny.....we thinks:

Yes Patriot Fans....Click the link to find that it's Belichick's Birthday.....and that we hate you!

Oh, the things you come across when you're searching for a picture of the idiot Mets fan who interfered with a ball in play and cost his team a run...we thank you on multiple levels....a Padre win and an opportunity to see what an NFL Draft for Cheerleaders would look like....

Cheerleader Draft 2009
[Jock and Balls]

....and then, one link beget another link, and just like the six degrees of Kevin Bacon we were directed to the happiest place on earth.

Eckstein's Poll and the Ubiquitous #42

2009-04-16T15:30:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure if this UT poll speaks to Padre indifference (only 956 votes cast) or spiking illiteracy rates amongst Americans......but boy I couldn't agree more with the consensus choice for most impressive FNG. David Eckstein brings his lunch pail to work each day and as a fan that's something I can hang my hat on (hopefully the mix of metaphors does not obscure my Eckstein endorsement).

Editor's Note:
That #42 sure was everywhere on Wednesday night. Here's something I get but don't get.....the Mets exist because the Brooklyn Dodgers opted to relocate to LA rather than move to Flushing NY.....but why are the Mets honoring Jackie Robinson with a Rotunda named after him? He was never a part of the Met organization? Shouldn't the Dodgers have exclusive rights to using his name......awww......screw the Dodgers!

Did you notice the funny hat worn by Adrian Gonzalez while in NY? Yes, the ear warmer piece! You're not the only one to take note...
Adrian Gonzalez's Inexcusably Ridiculous Cap Accessory
[The Legend of Cecilio Guante]

The good AIC served as content editor for Cecilio's Scribe on this little Citi Field report......Keep bloggin' Scribe....just don't dismiss Adrian, he's about all we got!

Charger Fan Polling and KT on Donald Trump's Hair

2009-04-15T22:37:00.001-07:00

Kevin Towers was on XX1090 today with Darren Smith discussing Monday night's opener at Citi Field......and the discussion began with an assessment of Trump's rug.....KT was up close and personal and his take on it was pretty funny. You should listen to it. They also talk baseball.
Kevin Towers on with Darren Smith
[XX1090-Audio 4/15]

Also catch Jody Gerut comparing Citi Field to playing a game on the Strip in Vegas.....a reference to garish billboards, not the Girls of Glitter Gulch.
Jody Gerut on with Darren Smith
[XX1090-Audio 4/15]

San Diego Union Tribune readers have been polled and here's what they say:

C'mon......6-10? That's moronic.....64 morons feverishly clicking away.
What say you, San Diego Sports Fans?

Editor's Note:
Check out the new 619 Sports website including Craig Elsten and Chris Ello podcasts.
[619Sports.net]

One Last Observation on Citi Field

2009-04-14T22:08:00.000-07:00

My final rumination on the opening of Citi Field. The first three things I caught prior to the start of Monday afternoon's game, in quick rapid fire succession, were: Mike Piazza, Donald Trump's wife, and Mayor Bloomberg.

Read Caption Like A Robot, Please
I...am...ridiculously...good....looking...and.... love....comb....overs....

Now I saw Bloomberg catch a foul ball behind the plate and magnanimously pass it off to a nearby youth commoner (although if the kid was sitting in those seats on Opening Night his parents probably could have coughed up more than enough dough to secure for him an audience with David Wright directly after he had hit his game tying 3-run bomb.....social commentary digression, my apologies) but throughout the game I kept going back to Piazza.....and how he just looked.... creepy. Was he wearing make-up? Was he wearing more than Trump's wife?

Hey I like Piazza--he had a good season with us (or was it 2?). I also happened to be at the game where he hit some HR of importance (300th maybe?). I'm just saying that he had an odd sheen to his forehead and face and had it not been for the jolt of Gerut's HR I may have given it even more thought (no I'm not gay like Mike Piazza might be).

So it goes: while Tom Seaver was pitching and Mike Piazza was catching (certainly no pun intended) a woman on the other side of the country prepared to Dance with the Stars....

For one proud Met fan's reaction to Citi's opening.....
Opening night at Citi pretty much par for the course
[The Legend of Cecilio Guante]

2009 Schedule Is In

2009-04-14T18:01:00.001-07:00

Charger Girls say: "Decide which game you're going to!"

Citi Field: Padres get all the 'firsts'

2009-04-13T22:00:00.000-07:00

Some quick observations on the Padres 6-5 victory at new Citi Field:

Jody Gerut: Good on ya Mate! Let us count the FIRSTS: Hit:Run:HR:RBI. Way to take the crowd out of it early!

Wait a minute! Why are these JAGS so happy and High-Fivey!? That ball should have been fired right back on to the field....shouldn't it have been?
The Friars have only played 8 games so let's not carried away with the accolades....but there's something going on here....and regardless of where we are at the 24/48/96 game marks, I think it's good.
David Eckstein...he reached base four times on three hits and called a balk before even the umpire but that's not what stood out to me. It was his ten pitch AB where his walk was followed by a .......dead sprint to 1B! You just don't see that too often and when it comes from a two time World Series winner I think it brings two things to the table:

Fire and inspiration.
A much needed professional example.

Walter Silva will continue to struggle to make it to the 6th...that may be OK though with Correia and Hill looking good. Here's to Jake and CY staying healthy!
Jody Gerut/Scott Hairston monster could be powerful. I think Gerut needs to get the majority of the starts though. Situations permitting, Hairston can make a nice impact. Way to Christen Citi Field JG!
Heath Bell got his wish: The 1st save in the new ball yard. Hoffy brought leadership and professionalism to pens past but HB is bringing fire and brimstone! I like it....what about you?
The Mets arm patch is just really bad and Channel 4's Mark Grant astutely pointed noted, "....looks like a Domino's Pizza logo. You want bread sticks with that?" Could Mudcat Grant and I have been the only ones with the same thought? Research finds:

Stephen Colbert thought the same thing back in January during his Tip 'o the hat/Wag of the finger Segment. Enjoy premium satire here: Click

For More Met Logo Bashing:
Mets inaugural Citi Field patch getting ripped on the web
[NJ.com]

Who's watching, watching....?

2009-04-13T15:54:00.000-07:00

…The 2009 Padres?
(Editor's Note: As reported to the AIC by one member of the Collective)
With much fan-fare but low expectations, the Pads took the field for opening week led by hometown hero Adrian Gonzales and returning ace Jake Peavy (but for how long?). Following an opening day loss, the fellas rallied to a series push against our division rival: the LA Cholos…err, Dodgers. The boys then followed it up with a sweep of the San Francisco baseball Giants to finish opening week not only with a winning record, but atop the competitive NL West (Editor's Note: competitive??? Competitive=euphemism for mediocre?).

I had the opportunity and the pleasure to attend Saturday night’s game, and what a game it was. (actually I had the opportunity to go to 4 games this week, but even with the 5 dollar meal-deal, 4 games is too much for this rank-and-file avenger to handle…waiting for Uncle Sam to subsidize my entertainment needs! Baseball’s too big to Fail!...but I digress…). Needless to say, it was definitely in the top 4 Padres games I’ve ever been to, which read as follows, in descending order:

4- 1999 “Meet the Mrs.... get kicked out” (falling from 1 to 4 due to the course of history)
3- 2006 “JD Drew eviscerated by the AIC” (he’s much better than Doug Mirabelli you know)
2- 2009 “Read the Blog to find out why” (check out my balls)
1- 2006 “Seats on the 1st base wall/Irish fan heckles the Ump”

(Editor's Note: Who the fuck does things in a "Top 4" format? JD Drew and Doug Mirabelli are useless cunts and deserved the lashing they received. I'm glad that I factor in to two of your top 4 life experiences......it could have been 3/4 if you had invited me on Saturday.....thanks Dick!)

Saturday’s game was a fast-paced one, taking only a little over 2 hours to complete, but it had a little bit of everything:

Great pitching (8 2/3 from Jake)
Clutch hitting (a rarity in San Diego)
Some great defensive plays by Hairston and Giles-aka Jake the Mus…(keep yer hands in yer pockets Brian) (Editor's note: An excellent reference to Once Were Warriors: Go to You Tube)
Three home runs including 2 by Senor Blanco
A Win...most important of all.

The overriding factor that made this my all-time #2 Padres game though was not any of the above aspects of the game, nor was it the fact that the tickets were a gift from a friend, not even finding free parking on the street.....it was this ‘lil guy....

From having no balls to one.....you gotta start somewhere

.....who somehow found his way from Jake’s hand, rifled off the bat of third basemen Pablo Sandoval, rocketed over our heads, caromed off of a railing and into my outstretched hand. What a thrill! I felt like I was 12 again! Not even finding the free parking was a better feeling! Baseball’s back, and I’ll be back to see it live to be sure, let’s hope the Pads can keep on exceeding expectations. See ya at the park!

The Mad Italian (aka: The Ghost of Sid Going)
“Taller than Joe Morris, Dirtier than McConkey’s Mustache”

With Lincicum defeated...the world is next!

2009-04-12T22:30:00.000-07:00

Yea, we're in 1st place. True, seven games is not much of a sample size.....but we're in 1st place!
Let's enjoy the fellas having played some pretty good ball this week and having knocked off the NL's 2008 Cy Young winner.
Padres weak? Not during the season's opening week
[San Diego UT-Chris Jenkins]

Next stop Citi Field: New home of the Mets. An interesting test will be provided with this being the 1st road series and our 3rd, 4th, and 5th starters (still working on names) getting the nod against a pricey Mets squad. Need some Citi Field info? Click Here for some of the Park's features as well as the naming rights controversy.

With Citigroup Inc. paying $20 million a year for naming rights and having received in excess of $45 million in federal bailout money (your tax dollars) this new ballpark truly does belong to all of us......does that make it a home game?

Heath Bell is also excited to be visiting his former team in NY.....he wants the 1st save at Citi Field....Heath has big balls. Let's see him back it up.
Citi Field's debut has Bell buzzing
[San Diego UT-Chris Jenkins]

A message brought to you from Charger Girl: Don't forget the 2009 NFL schedule is released on Tuesday......Cleveland, Tennessee, or Pitt, Fellas?
To quote the dude from Snatch with the giant spectacles:

"Goody fuckin' gum drops!". Be sure to read that with a Limey accent.

This is the End of the week. Good Night, now.

NFL Schedule Release

2009-04-11T14:20:00.000-07:00

The newly selected 2009 Charger girls urge you to consider a fall visit to one of the below locales (except Oak-town...let's be serious). We know the 2009 away opponents and on Tuesday we'll find out the dates. Each location provides positive attributes based on the time of year the game is played. The one thing that doesn't change.....the food. I was watching the travel channel this morning and Memphis, Tennessee looks tasty! Fried chicken and ribs anyone?

2009 NFL Schedule Release on Tuesday
[Chargers Blog]

I dare you to extrapolate...

2009-04-09T23:45:00.000-07:00

81-81....I did the extrapolation for you...read & listen on Friar Faithful (do I sound hypocritical?)

Gonzalez sparks rally in 8th, Bell shuts door in 9th
[SD Union-Tribune]

Dodgers falter at the finish against Padres
[LA Times]
Enjoy both SD & LA perspectives on the Padres' get-away-day victory thus earning the four game split. It never hurts to Beat LA...

Jeff Moorad is soliciting your advice on moving in the fences at The Bark Park.....maybe he'll consider a park renaming ceremony as well.
[XX1090 with Scott & BR]

I don't buy Heath Bell's closing song: Blow me away by Breaking Benjamin

Perhaps it was too obvious to go with: For whom the bell tolls by Metallica.....but it's obvious for a reason: IT'S PERFECT!!!

I suppose as long as Heath "Wii" Bell keeps saving games it really doesn't matter does it? But it would have been cool to hear those bells and Cliff Burton's bass, no?

To Safe Travels

2009-04-09T15:16:00.000-07:00

Taryn & Kory
It was excellent to see you. When I think of opportunity lost to get myself south , JT's Mexico is always the soundtrack.

Be safe gettin' yourself home.

159 Mas...am I really going to do this?

2009-04-08T23:10:00.000-07:00

Dodgers 5 Padres 2

Game 3 Observations:

Manny's hair is beyond comment

David Eckstein had an awesome 10 pitch at-bat in the 1st. The talk of game 1 was DE's sac bunt in the 1st. These seem like trivial things to get excited over...so I won't. But they are pleasant things to see and hopefully represent a sea change.

Walter Silva was lucky to give up only 2 runs. We're in trouble with him as our #3.

In addition to speed, Evereth Cabrera has a hose.

Kouz needs to show up in April or it'll be a hell of a hole we're diggin' ourselves out of.

Mujica and De la Cruz had live looking arms....so we've got that goin' for the pen.

Steve Quis asked Manny stupid questions during the Postgame. How dare you accuse Manny of having been in a "funk".

Baseball is hard to blog....too quick a turn around time between games so here's my Opening Day part II....

I really should skip the remainder of Peavy's starts...this decade.

I missed all of the pregame festivities. My cheap ticket was nullified by the pregame bar tab. I too was excited to see a bunt in the first-curse thy moneyball of '08. The Padres have lost 9 consecutive games I have attended including the sweep in the Bronx last June. Jake Peavy has lost the previous 5 times I've seen him pitch. San Diego should be embarrassed by the shear number of LA caps in the stands and the pathetic absence of SD caps. Is it any wonder San Diego is labeled as a joke of a sports town. One man's opinion.

Editor's Note:
Sure the team isn't going to be great...err...good this season. And I would have encouraged people to stay home had we not seen a change in the status quo....but with Moorad on board and the number of price accommodations we've seen thus far...well I think it is a reasonable olive branch until things get turned around. I can wait until the draft before I begin to organize boycotts.

In summation: 5 for$5 is awesome and Dodger fans are far too plentiful (droves of Dickies in The Bark on Monday)

Donnie Baseball in LA

2009-04-08T15:19:00.001-07:00

When I say I hate the Yankees people laugh and threaten that they can produce a picture of me wearing a Yankees Starter jacket. It's all very true.

I grew up with Don Mattingly as my my baseball idol.....and I hate George Steinbrenner for not having delivered a World Series ring to ol' Donnie Baseball.

Now in my old age I have come to hate the Yanks for more analytical reasons.....they swept the Padres in '98 and they are upsetting the current economic balance of the free world....and of course I hate Tino Martinez for replacing Don Mattingly and then rocking Mark Langston in Game 1 of the '98 Series when we all know it should have been a called third strike on the previous pitch. I'm over it.

Today, Don Mattingly is the hitting coach for the Los Angeles Dodgers and he joined Darren Smith yesterday afternoon. It put a smile on my face despite his current association with that miserable team from up the I5...

Don Mattingly with Darren Smith
[XX1090-Audio]

...and I do have gray #23 hanging in the closet. I really should try to get it signed since he makes frequent visits with those Douchey Dodgers.

Beat LA...Beat LA...Beat LA....

2009-04-08T13:13:00.001-07:00

We did.

Enjoy this headline from the Los Angeles Times and think of all the royal blue wearing Royal A-holes who have cluttered up our park the last two days...

We only have ourselves to blame San Diego......only you can prevent the 2009 Invasion of A-holes.

2009 Opening Day Part I

2009-04-07T22:41:00.001-07:00

Sean M. Haffey/Union-Tribune
Dodgers 4 Padres 1

After the Padres hosted opening day at The Bark Park..... a game in which attendance records were set (45,496) thanks to The Park in the Park busting at the seams with cheap Dodger Fans.... a game in which we saw our Ace give up 4 runs and our "offensive" case of anemia carry over from 2008.... this fan visited his parents, put the game in the past, and watched women dance.

....and then receive judgement. Is this the sort of season we're in for (talking about Padres not DWTS)?

NCAA Tournament Closure: 2009

2009-04-07T21:39:00.000-07:00

I was watching the Padres get mopped up by the Dodgers so here's what I missed...

North Carolina has won the championship and most of the day's discussion has revolved around Tyler Hansbrough. Either he won't make a good pro or how so many people hate his guts. Well I don't care about the NBA. As for hating him, he did blow up part of my bracket by knocking off Oklahoma and then hammering Villanova, so there is justifiable dislike. I don't care for Carolina but I don't see how people can say they dislike this guy.....he brings so much effort to each game, how can you not like him? My lasting memory of him will be when he was spewing blood after getting his face destroyed against Duke....he popped right up though, ready to get some....

Oh yea...no thanks to UPS I finally got that 'Nova Nation T-shirt....I'm wearing it.

I enjoyed the tournament. Though it may make it more compelling, you don't have to have monumental upsets in order to be entertained. The tournament was really solid up until the Final Four so here's to 2010...Go Nova!

What Can Brown Do For You?

2009-04-04T14:00:00.000-07:00

Early thirty-something sports fan seeks vengeance.

Actively pursuing the prospect of seeing UPS's head on a stick. A big must is someone who can also deliver, in person, the individual in charge of shipping for the Villanova Online Store by 5:47 Pacific Standard Time.

I know what UPS could do for me!

It could stop dispensing with the hollow promises of prompt shipping and actually deliver (both figuratively and literally). News flash for my compadres in brown: we're living in dire economic times so you better begin to adhere to business practices that save your company unwarranted costs. Allow me to offer some free consultation:

PEOPLE WORK FOR A LIVING!!!!! Do not deliver packages that require signatures before 3pm.
When you leave that little crapola sticker that says you attempted delivery....actually STICK IT TO SOMETHING!!!! I find those stickers out in the rock garden all of the time. How can I contact UPS if I don't see that sticker? Either start using a Costanza approved adhesive that will actually keep the notification in place or offer your drivers a class on "THE UPS WAY: HOW TO APPLY LABELS LIKE A MAN And OTHER MANLY THINGS"
When you attempt to deliver a second time........see FREE PIECE OF ADVICE #1!!! We're STILL at work before 3pm!
When a customer does call in on a Saturday to arrange pickup.....HOW ABOUT YOU BE THERE!!!! How can you survive in a global market without delivering on Saturdays or having a branch open to serve the public?!!!!!
When I call you on Saturday morning and your A-hole Automaton tells me that I can come and pick up my NOVA NATION T-shirt your business should try this:.....let me grab it on MONDAY!!! Why do I have to wait until TUESDAY? The NCAA tournament ends MONDAY, April 6th!

An astutely contrived Ad Campaign. The whiteboard simplicity
belies the true brilliance of UPS' visionary quest
to modernize shipping.......Where's my fucking T-shirt?!

UPS......You have completely FUCKED UP MY SHIT and you're costing yourselves time and money by making trips to my home at times when I'm NEVER there!

How can I claim to be a legitimate Villanova fan without one piece of garb? I live in San Diego and I need that T-Shirt! I ordered it 9 days ago approximately 4 minutes after the destruction of Duke and I wanted to wear it at least for tonight's National Semi-final and now, UPS, you're telling me that, should the Wildcats advance, I can't even sport it for the National Championship game on Monday Night? You get a giant F-U-, UPS !

Which brings us to the Villanova Online Store..... I bought a T-shirt that costs $9.95 .....why on earth is a signature required? It could have been slipped under the gate or flung on to the porch but instead, because of your precious little requirements, I have to watch 'Nova/NC in a state of nakedness! You might think the weather is perfect out here but it will cool off substantially by the time of tonight's Tip.....F-U-2!

UPS and the Villanova Online Store:
Your insolence will lead you to the corporate graveyard where all others in this depressed economic era currently have one foot.

Go Nova!

The Mope Goes To Da Bears

2009-04-02T14:38:00.000-07:00

"To acquire Cutler, the Bears had to give up quarterback Kyle Orton and first-round picks in 2009 and 2010, a source said.
To complete the trade, the Broncos had to give back a third-round pick in 2009."

Espn's John Clayton

The Denver Mope (aka The Little Hillbilly) has been dealt to the Windy City. Bear Down Chicago Bears! You've just received a 12 year old girl to act as the franchise's Field General.

Cutler Going To Bears
[Espn.com-John Clayton]

Editor's Note:
(10:30pm) The Denver Post reports that the trade breaks down as follows:
Denver Gets:

QB Kyle Orton
1st rounder 2009
3rd rounder 2009
1st rounder 2010

Chicago Gets:

QB Jay Cutler
5th rounder 2009

Broncos happy with Cutler deal
[Denver Post-Mike Klis]

Your April Fools

2009-04-01T22:35:00.000-07:00

Rather than plan some convoluted prank, whereby a three way trade occurs involving Jamarcus Russell/Jay Cutler/Matt Cassel, followed by uproariously heckling you to death for being a dimwitted sucka....we'll go ahead and merely present you with a potpourri of ninnies, donkeys, and chowder heads. We begin with an ode to Mrs. C (lucky Follower #13) who despises to no end the "Errand Boy of Giselle"....

One forever tarnished his image to achieve the slightest of advantages....an advantage his team probably did not need. The other poses for magazine layouts....do we even need to elaborate...look at this guy....how much more money does a human need?

Cutler is banging the drum to bolt Denver, A-Rod's banging Madonna and these are just both foolish choices. Cutler will wind up in Detroit where homes are going for $17k and Madonna was touched by Dennis Rodman (do the six degrees deal and A-Rod's in danger of acquiring a lifelong downstairs neighbor......and his ex-wife is going to take most of his money......and he's on the DL......and he won't be going to the Hall of Fame......foolish).

If you wanted people to cower in the wake of your Patriotism you could have gone with the lapel flag pin.

Foolish choices gentlemen. Foolish indeed. A jersey can last a lifetime too, ya just gotta take care of it.

Your April's Fools...

The Mope Is On The Block

2009-03-31T23:00:00.000-07:00

Nearly 60 % of Bronco fans want Cutler to hit the skids and just shy of 10% could give two shits.

We're here to say that we voted, "don't care", but in the end, all that matters is what Bronco Owner Pat Bowlen thinks.....

"Numerous attempts to contact Jay Cutler in the last 10 days, both by head coach Josh McDaniels and myself, have been unsuccessful," Bowlen said in a statement. "A conversation with his agent earlier today clearly communicated and confirmed to us that Jay no longer has any desire to play for the Denver Broncos. We will begin discussions with other teams in an effort to accommodate his request to be traded."

-From The Denver Post
3/31/09

This is one of those moments where the wise counsel of a father is indispensable. Young Jay can respectfully look Pa Cutler in the eye and intently listen as Father compels him with the back of his hand to , "SNAP THE FUCK OUT OF IT!!!"

Alas, father too, lacks the rationality that most sentient beings possess. That is bad for Cutler......here's to his shipment to Detroit along with the perfect accompanying soundtrack for him to listen to on his bus to nowhere (or Detroit).

Bowlen: Cutler is gone
[Denver Post-Mike Klis]

Comments any one? Post 'em if you got 'em! We're disappointed that McJayGate is going away. Cutler is righteous drama.

In other sporting news:
A young woman danced with the stars...

Quote of the Week...and the week only just started

2009-03-30T11:16:00.000-07:00

“I feel great, and I look amazing,”
Merriman said last week.

What a great quote!
A brutally honest self-assessment. We wonder if he cracked a sideways smirk as he said it? We can live with it either way as long as the bravado is accompanied with QB pressure.....Cromartie won't survive this season without it.

Chargers to gather Monday for start of official conditioning
[San Diego Union Tribune-Kevin Acee]

This Is The End: March 29th extremely weak Round-up

2009-03-29T23:00:00.000-07:00

“At the end of the day, I want to win,” Moorad says. “I won't rest until the Padres win a World Series ... I think you can win even in a smaller to medium-sized market (like San Diego) with a smaller to medium-sized payroll. We just have to be better and smarter than our competition.”

-Jeffrey Moorad (new Padres CEO and eventual owner)

With our 4th or 5th starters yet to be named and an untested bullpen we find ourselves apprehensive. As March comes to a close the Padres still lack any kind of speed and have power so dubious that the reasonable man must take stock and note that the prospects for the 2009 season are disheartening. There is reason for hope, though.

Spring is a time of renewal and, as such, also a symbol of hope. All you should really need though is the above quote to instill that glimmer of hope. Note the words that new Padre CEO Jeff Moorad chooses: never does he say that he is "looking to remain competitive in the NL West" or that "there's no reason that we can't be competitive". Those are the refrains of a previous regime...Jeff Moorad says he wants a World Series and he won't rest until the Padres get one. We like the sound of that. We recommend reading the remainder of the UT article to get a feel for why "the times they-are-a-changin'".

Modest start preceded Moorad's rise
[San Diego Union Tribune-Mark Zeigler]

However, if you still cannot muster some positive vision for the short term that's O.K. too.......complain away! As a Padre fan you've earned the right. You were told to vote "Yes" back in 1998 and the future would forever be bright. But it's 2009 and the "Bark Park" novelty has worn off to the casual fan so we're left with the same old cost cutting measures of days gone past. With a $40 million dollar payroll we will trudge through a weak NL West and compete against a Dodger team that just paid Manny Ramirez over $20 million.......we need not do the math for you.

We were lied to so feel free to deliver your bellows of rage. Don't let guys on the radio tell you that you should only be extolling the favorables on account of a new ownership group easing into place and April just on the horizon. Be cynical. Be skeptical. It's the Padres 40 year anniversary...you've earned it.

We're hopeful though, and satisfied that Jeff Moorad is at the helm. Check out the following audio:perhaps it will quell your pessimism.

Jeffrey Moorad with Scott & BR
[XX1090--3/27/09]
Kevin Towers with Darren Smith
[XX1090--3/27/09]

There's another thing that is quite outstanding about Moorad....he received his law degree from..........wait for it........Villanova! The bracket was blown up today but it is on life support with the "Villanova in the finals" selection. It looks like a Michigan St/Villanova final will be needed. Go Nova!

The week has ended and we can all agree that life is Too Short to not envision a little hope on the horizon...

Editor's Note:
The bearded fella sitting next to Senator McCain is Jeff Moorad. Moorad claims that the Senator knows more about the Diamondbacks than most people in the Arizona front office which explains precisely two things:

D-Backs's poor showing in 2008.
McCain's inability to differentiate between the Sunni and Shia sects of Islam (keep your eye on the ball Mr. McCain)

Reassuring Villanova Coach Jay Wright

2009-03-28T22:00:00.000-07:00

Dear Jay Wright,
Relax.......my bracket is in tact but I've repudiated the Louisville pick...if, God forbid, Villanova cannot secure the 2009 NCAA Championship but I win my pool I will hold true to my word: that $45 will go to a Villanova endorsed charitable endeavor or the Wildcat booster program. I'm in it for the long haul.....my 'Nova Nation T-shirt should be arriving on Monday.

What!? This guy's bracket is only going to net us $45 bucks!

What an awesome game. Big East basketball is a battle and boy is it fun to watch.

Next Stop - Final Four; Villanova Defeats Pittsburgh, 78-76

The Wildcats return to the Final Four for the first time since 1985.

March 28, 2009

BOSTON, Mass. (AP) - Scottie Reynolds made a half-court dash for the game-winning shot with 0.5 seconds left, leading Villanova over Pittsburgh 78-76 Saturday night and back to the Final Four for the first time since its shocking run to the 1985 championship.[Read On]

An open letter to 'Nova Nation

2009-03-27T23:45:00.000-07:00

Now that I've annexed myself to the Villanova Nation and renounced my Louisville pick I have a couple bones of contention. As part of the family I shall now take this opportunity to opine:

Not enough Wildcat Cheerleader photos available to the general public. This must be addressed and as such a new member of The Nation I don't know if I can act as the ombudsmen on this one. The 'Nova website is hardly a viable option so I made due with what I scavenged...

4:05 pm Tip-off Saturday
I'm goin' with 'Nova...don't call me a Homer!

One of Villanova's most notable alums is Howie Long. I have long since forgiven his Raider-ness and his indelible charisma that some how made mullets acceptable to '80s youths...

......as I said.......I can live with the aforementioned indiscretions (even the fact that he's a Native Masshole), but I must, at some point, draw a line in the sand and say,

"Enough is enough.
At the risk of Excommunication before even the most informal of Baptisms,
I make my stand here!
Influential Villanova alum, I say!
Your fine institution is being tarnished by Howie Long
and his........I can't even say it.......just watch...

.....by Howie Long and his dick-headed-ness!"

Seriously, if a guy started grilling me in the parking lot of a Costco with such condescension, there's no doubt he'd be getting the, "Fuck Off!", of his life......even if it WAS a giant of a man who attended Villanova University.....that's Villanova....my new team.

Yer bein' a dick, Howie. It's making me want to buy Ford or Dodge. Please stop this man and his commercial enterprises, honorable Villanova alumni......

Editor's Note:
Currently I am up by seven points on the Commander-in-Chief

The Renunciation Of My 2009 NCAA Champion Pick: Go 'Nova!

2009-03-26T21:59:00.000-07:00

I am no expert on college basketball but this is what I do know:

I needed Memphis to beat Missouri tonight.... but I was sure they were in for a long night when I saw the Mo. starting line-up: Three guard set- no player shorter than 6'5". That's all I needed to be certain that one of my Final Four picks was FUCT!
Duke is an absolute SHAM! Every year they rely so much on the three that the shooter's touch eventually wears off. They have no inside game at all and they play like castrated bulls because of it.....I bet Blue Devil fans wish it were 1992 and they had big man Cherokee Parks. What a Joke! Taking Villanova was the safest pick of my bracket.....and now they get a Pitt team they handled by 10pts during the regular season.

I also know that this guy.... .....,guard Greg Paulus should payback his scholarship for embarrassing Duke University so badly....dribbling off his knee, firing passes out of bounds, desperation fouls due to a lack of athleticism..... He is in fact the worse player in the United States.

.....and there is one more thing I know: This is how I say, "Go 'Nova!"

Go 'Nova!

Damn my Louisville selection over the Wildcats!

I pick 'Nova each and every year for a couple wins (dating back to the ill-fated busted bracket of 1995: Final Four pick of a Kerry Kittles led Villanova team...ouch! Curse Old Dominion!) and now I'm claiming 'Nova Nation as safe haven......they have now become the only team outside of San Diego that I support and I don't feel bad about saying it based on the loose kinship of Augustinian Friars and The San Diego Friars.......having rationalized my new found allegiance, I officially renounce my 2009 March Madness Bracket. If victorious I shall donate all proceeds to the Roman Catholic Church or a Villanova approved charity...

Veritas, Unitas, Caritas

Bring It Home 'Brotherly Love'

2009-03-26T15:47:00.001-07:00

Eagle Cheerleader is how I say, "Go 'Nova!".

Villanova must crush Duke tonight to keep my bracket viable...to begin eliminating all of these Jags who went straight Chalk with their picks.

So as I was reading an article about Jay Wright's contribution to the city university along with the 'Nova athletic department's infusion of cold cash I noticed the sidebar story placed in the philly.com website..........Philadelphia Eagle Cheerleading tryouts.

Once again, this is how I say, "Go 'Nova!".

Cholla Cable Comments on Craziness

2009-03-24T21:41:00.000-07:00

I open up the UT and what do I see.....Cholla! I hear his righteous proclamations in my sleep and now I have to read his opinions in the Sports section....

“It's a crazy time in this division,” Oakland Raiders coach Cholla Cable said Tuesday at the NFL owners' meetings.

Its only crazy because of that kid up in Denver, and by "kid" I mean McDaniels....Cutler is the "Crybaby". Yea real crazy! The only thing crazier would be that lard ass QB in Oakland developing some game.

Nice. Real Nice Cholla! The least you could have done was get some Black Widows slapped on the side of that Silver n' Black helmet. You useless C@#T!

For more about Cholla and how consistent the Chargers are:

Chargers are a model of consistency in topsy-turvy AFC West
[SD Union Tribune-Kevin Acee]

There's some good stuff on Aztec ace Stephen Strasburg over at 619 Sports. Craig Elsten is calling for the head of DC area writer Thomas Boswell. The charge....Blasphemy!
[619 Sports]

Editor's Note:
Apologies for the randomness of the Cholla reference..there are a select few who will understand. To attain enlightenment the following may provide it for you....... but probably not.....funny none the less.

Ryan Leaf: Version 2K9

2009-03-23T22:00:00.000-07:00

A little alcohol and millions in the bank....well, hell.....you'd be smiling like that too!

Ryan Leaf Used To Be Carried In The Arms of Cheerleaders
[Deadspin]

The 2009 April Amateur Draft looms........ aspirations of a game-changing defender falling to pick #16 permeate our Collective minds...... take a look at the following video to reclaim a feel for what it was like to pick #2 overall....it was eleven years ago, perhaps you had forgotten.

This Is The End: March 22nd Round-up

2009-03-22T22:30:00.000-07:00

"What, you don't think I know?!! My bracket would have been Fu#ked too!"

Purdue, Gonzaga and Duke eked out games on Saturday and the Bracket stayed a clean 8 for 8. There were only 5 chances for the bracket to score points today and after a 2 for 2 morning the afternoon saw extraordinarily close games with the Missouri, Michigan State and Louisville picks. It was excruciating to sit through the Spartans/Trojans game and watch the Louisville/Sienna score ticker in the upper corner of the TV....but when it was all said and done we went 5 for 8 on the day with a solid 13/16 Sweet Sixteen teams in play.....still only missing one Elite Eight-er (Mountaineers of W.Va).

This is the year where scores are high as people who are clueless tend to pick according to high seeds which equals a plus rate of success in '09. The Sweet Sixteen is almost perfectly seeded outside of #12 Arizona and #5 Purdue crashing the party. Obama edged us by 1 game in Round 2 but we still hold a 3 point lead on the Leader of the Free World.

President Obama's Bracket
[ESPN Tournament Challenge]

San Diego State had a big basketball week (women win and men advance to NIT Quarters against either Davidson or St. Mary's) and a shaky baseball week. State squandered a 15 strikeout performance by Stephen Strasburg on Friday but salvaged the series by getting the win today.
[619 Sports]

For those who hold out hope.....we bring you radio interviews with Postgame's Bob Scanlan, MLB Padre beat writer Corey Brock and GM Kevin Towers. This is your opportunity to say,

`"Hey, I stuck with 'em during the darkest days of '08 and '09!"

Listen up and get a read on the new names on the back of the Jerseys.
Bob Scanlan with John Kentera
[xx1090-The Coach 3/17]
Corey Brock with John Kentera
[xx1090-The Coach 3/17]
Kevin Towers with Darren Smith
[xx1090-Darren Smith 3/19]

The drive-time show fired Jordan and we kept eating pizza from Chicago on a bun. What's changed? There's a lot less screaming and the pizza is still good.
After line-up changes, it's Brown's Boring Bozos
[UT-Jay Posner 3/20]

We can't even win our own game on our own turf. Japan beats the US in WBC Semifinals.
Japan rips USA, rolls into WBC final
[Si.Com]

The Legend with the weaker arm gives his 2 cents.....we don't believe that John called Jay, "...a little bitch", but we're sure he thinks it.
Elway weighs in on Cutler Crisis
[Denver Post]

What better way to end your week than to take a gander at perhaps the greatest Top Ten List in the history of Top Ten Lists. If you know of a better compilation let us know.....if your place of business blocks YouTube, so sorry you'll have to wait...."Top Ten" found through SI.com's Extra Mustard.
[Sand & Cotton]

Since you can never have too much Bad Religion in one week....This is not Armageddon... only the week's End...

Southern California thrashes Boston College

2009-03-21T13:30:00.000-07:00

The opportunity to remind Boston fan that they just got smacked by a team from California will not be passed up...

USC-72
BC -55

Meanwhile, our bracket came crashing back to Earth...after a 14/16 showing on Thursday, Friday gave us a dismal 10/16 for a 24pt first round showing. That puts us in OUR usual 1st round 22-25pt range.

All Final Four teams are alive but three wayward Sweet Sixteens were dismissed.....curse you Seminoles and Owls.....and the early loss of an Elite Eight-er is a gut-buster! Damn Huggins led Mountaineers!

The FSU/Wisconsin game was fantastic as was the Sienna/Ohio St. 2OT thriller....Kid from Sienna had ice in his veins sinking 3-balls multiple times as the clock ticked down (The World's Ombudsmen says he picked Sienna into the Final Four.....We picked Louisville to win it all....Sienna versus Louisville tomorrow....There can only be one!).

As this goes to post, Villanova looked fantastic this morning and Memphis is mopping the floor with Maryland....so we've got that going for us.

Side-note:
In 'Bracket Wars', The Collective is up by 5 points on President Barack Obama.

Passion Overfloweth: More Patriot Hate E-Mail

2009-03-20T11:15:00.000-07:00

Don't feel bad....you're not the only one who wants Bill Belichick dead! So does Sawyer and Pittsburgh Steelers Blog, One For The Other Thumb.

If you can stomach the fact that its author is reveling in two Super Bowl victories over the last four years we encourage you to check it out. Very in-depth commentary/analysis and ridiculously adept at Photo-Shop.
[One for the Other Thumb]

Here's another addition of Patriot Hate E-Mail. Our #1 critic has been conspicuously absent from my email in-box.......so here are some jousts from a few weeks back.

Tom's BC (a mutually agreed upon alias)

Jack Murphy's Avengers, LMFAO, they should ban that dump, it's never produced one winner. Look, I have no problem with jumping on a cause and getting passionate about it, but for fuck sakes man, your city needs to actually win something at least once every 25, 35 or 45 years??? San Diego is LOSERVILLE in sports, your pathetic fan base cannot even sellout the home opener or even a (LMFAO) ever so rare, playoff game. But don't worry, if the AFC West wasn't a completely fraudulant, crap division, your overrated, WHINYASS, PUNKASS team would have never made the playoffs u DBAG. [sic]

A.I.Chief : Your Friendly Blog Admin.
FYI-I actually can't control whether our teams win or lose. I'm also unable to control who shows up to games. And while I can't argue that the AFC West was horribly shocking this year, you should really look in the mirror and accept an indisputable truth: In sixteen games the Chargers looked good precisely three times....two of those times were when they mopped the floor with AFC East teams....Front-Runner.

Of course you can't control whether your teams win or not or who shows up, Captain Obvious but that doesn't change the fact that SD is the 2cnd worst sports city in the US (MSN poll from 2008, look it up). Now your showing your typical Dolts sissy powder blue colors, you go be proud of that early regular season win, if that makes you feel all warm and cozy about your whiny, overrated Dolts. See, here's the difference between the Patriots and the Dolts, the Dolts get all worked up over wins like that and the Pats are only satisfied with winning Super Bowls. Dude, just compare HC's, Pats have BB, the single greatest footbal mind in the league and the BEST coach the in the NFL, ever. Show me another coach that's won 3 SB's in the salary cap era, I'll save you the work, there are none. Meanwhile the head Dolt is a NOOOOOORV, case closed. I will taunt you as long as you keep this pathetic site up you DBAG. [sic]

I see you're still using your same ol' material (2008 MSN Poll) to try and validate yourself while condemning SD. Why would someone need validation when their city's teams have been essentially dominating the sports landscape over the last eight years? Captain obvious says, "Yer a poser!". You jumped on the bandwagon late and in a sport obsessed city of Boston you have to try and one-up the other die-hards. I get it. Surprised though as I thought you would have taken a day off after your Celts dropped ANOTHER game to an LA team. You probably weren't aware of it though, because you are a poser. Oh yea that's right just a meaningless reg. season game. The Oct 12th meeting btwn. the Bolts and Cheats was meaningless, agreed, until.....you missed the playoffs by a margin of one game. The site's not going anywhere. It's astonishing how many people hate the Patriots and their fans. I met a lot of guys like you when I went to Foxborough. They talk extraordinarily tough but in the end its just talk.. "Fack you, you fackin' powdah blue wearin' quee-uhs. Yar Chah-juhs kan't hold the Pats' fackin' jawk-strap. Ahh Coach is a Gawd. Ahh QB is a Gawd. and Giselle is a Gawdess!? You ARE the personification of the Bahhston caricature. Keep it comin', Clown

Good times with hate banter. This is a relationship that needs special care and attention.

Do you remember what this Patriot cheerleader was fired for?

My Bracket Versus President Obama's

2009-03-19T22:00:00.000-07:00

Commander-In-Chief sez Carolina in '09-a

Unbearably close calls with both 'Nova and Memphis!!!

With the Wildcats meeting Louisville in my final and the Tigers in the F4 that would have destroyed my 2009 bracket. Survived and advanced......that's all you have to do. Just barely squeaked out the Western Kentucky game over Illinois--Hilltoppers tried to blow it--but they survived and advanced.

Finishing day one with 14 wins and 2 losses, I'm up two games on President Obama. I missed the Clemson/Michigan game by a nose and was really off with my Mississippi State choice over Washington. As far as the Michigan game goes, I stand by it....The Big Ten is junk. I thought that MSU was an undervalued 13 seed and the perfect storm was in place against a team from The Pac-Ten in the midst of a down conference year (see....anyone can talk out of their ass and make it believable! 14/16 on day one Whaddup!!?? Bring it on Barry!). On to day two...

Check out the following links below:

The first one is a site dedicated to the objective analysis of polling data to try and predict the outcomes of elections. The writer's name is Nate Silver and he also writes for Baseball Prospectus (see 619 Sports for a look at SABR-metrics on MLB network as analyzed by morons earlier this week). The FiveThirtyEight article is interesting (see: ridiculous) in that actual statistical regressions were performed on Obama's bracket.....were his picks kickbacks to those crucial states that got him elected? You be the judge.....

The Cherry Picker in Chief
Obama NCAA Bracket Suggests Bias Toward Schools From Swing States
[FiveThirtyEight.com]

The second link is obviously from YouTube. Watch Obama go step by step in filling out his bracket. I just think its funny that this was turned into a special...... and then after #44 announced his Carolina 2009 champion pick he proceeded to put them on blast for busting his bracket last year. That's funny.....and what's funnier you ask? Mike Krzyzewski's reaction.

Obama's Bracket Analysis with ESPN's Andy Katz
[YouTube]

In Defense of an NCAA Bracket Obsessed Citizenry

2009-03-19T12:00:00.000-07:00

This is a response.......nay, a defense of one of the great traditions in sport. That of the March Madness Bracket sheet. A fine writer, at The Legend of Cecilio Guante, makes a compelling case for abandoning the endeavor altogether. In short, the Scribe argues that the bracket is a harlot whose yearly betrayals can mortally wound---time invested but love never returned by the Mistress Bracket.

I say that it is better to have Bracketed and Lost than to have never Bracketed at all....I'm here to argue on behalf of the masses.....that the Bracket may be a devilish seductress but it is one we should embrace. Lovers are never without fault...

Opening Argument: Nostalgia...

It is with the NCAA Bracket that lasting memories are created. Without a bracket filled would my March Memories be so rich, so vivid? I think not. I remember my first hunt...it was 1991, the year of UNLV's undefeated run to the final Four in defense of their 1990 Crown. They returned Larry Johnson, Anderson Hunt, Greg Anthony, Stacy Augmon and George Ackles and had every reason to repeat....but they fell to Duke. I remember UNLV's starting five but its not my lasting impression of that tourney.....I picked my first 12 seed versus 5 seed upset special when I chose Eastern Michigan to knock off Penn State. My competitors looked at me like I was clairvoyant....and you better believe I played up my revelatory skills.

There was 1992 when I took Kansas.... Adonis Jordan and company were toppled by the Miners of El Paso and my Bracket was Busted in Round Two. I'm still pained by the play of the Jayhawks but my true angst would not be cultivated until the Elite Eight when Kentucky met Duke. Kentucky's story was beautiful...kids who dreamt of being Wildcats so they dutifully sat through program probation until they were seniors.....and then, upon returning to the field of 64, had their souls crushed by a perfect from the field Christian Laettner. I had never followed Kentucky basketball and I was unbelievably devastated by what I had just watched. My hatred for Duke was born....

In 1993 I penciled the Fab 5 in as Champs and two important things happened with that bracket. I watched the Final Four in San Felipe, BC Mexico and it changed my life...now the epiphany is for another post but as you recall Webber made an illegal T.O. call, The Fab Five lost, and another in a long line of brackets was busted.....and, of course, a second team from Tobacco Road made my "Teams Whose charter I want to crash in the Andes so they will cannibalize each other" : List of Hate. Curse you Rick Fox and Donald Williams...

As the years passed on I could recount a unique anecdote from each tournament* but this post is for a cogent argument and in that vain I shall proceed.

The Remedy for a Hateful Heart....

I mentioned my disdain for both Duke and North Carolina, the perennially over exposed media darlings, who devastated me in both 1992 and 1993. Curious what a little time and the prospects of winning a pool can do for a broken heart. As 1998 rolled around I began to enjoy the play of Antawn Jamison, Vince Carter and Ed Cota.....and it didn't hurt that NC was the arch-rival to those dirty Blue Devils so to the Tarheel wagon I hitched my bracket dreams. Alas, their run ended in the Final Four but the lasting memory was NC's redemption in my eyes.......My antipathy for Tobacco Road's 'Heels ended, all because of a black and white photocopy scrawled in red ink.

The next piece of heeling that took place for me came in 2001.....the year I achieved (in my mind) bracket perfection. It could not happen without my submission to the Duke Blue Devils, without my forgiveness and acceptance of Shane Battier, Jayson Williams, and Michael Dunleavy Jr. They brought me to bracket immortality** and to this day I think back fondly on that Duke team. My heart was further cleansed of ACC abhorrence...

Your Alma Mater or Bracket Immortality?

This is a false choice for all those who debate the validity of choosing your mid-major Alma Mater over a Major Conference's at-large bid. Always choose your Alma Mater for at least one win! This provides you with solace in that you did not betray your school but also, if incorrect, will only cost you a point in the end. If victorious you look like a genius. Sometimes a point can be enough to cost you a pool victory but sometimes that's just the way it goes....what's Ten Bucks amongst friends? Most importantly though, your loyalty having been tested, you are free to attend your Alma Mater's homecoming.

Pool Tradition and Friendly Gatherings

Perhaps the most important aspect of NCAA Brackets is the sense of yearly tradition instilled. I've acted as a pool administrator for every year since 1992. The last ten pools have all been run out of the same location downtown and, that folks, is tradition. Each and every year the pool culminates with a viewing at a Gaslamp bar so the requisite posturing and trash talking can take place. Each year the winnings are divided up so that there is a little side pot for he/she who most closely predicts the championship game final score and this always ensures drama regardless of the actual competitiveness of the game. It also ensures that one and all will attend the bar viewing and in the end that's all that matters......because it is here that friends gather, friends who, as time passes, see each other all too infrequently. Can you think of a more sound argument than that of camaraderie as a reason for continuing your yearly pool? Search your feelings...

Bracket Purity: The Deer Hunter and His Single Bullet

There are those who fill out multiple brackets all with different winners and disseminate them across the continent. This ensures that they can brag about having picked this year's Valpariaso/Gonzaga/George Mason/Davidson/etc......this is folly and impurity on a grand scale. One Man--One Bracket. Therein lies the challenge. Can you rise to the occasion, choose one form, and stick with it? Like DeNiro's Deer Hunter, hunting with a single cartridge, I too hand in only One version of March Madness. It is my Madness and it is my yearly challenge.

One Shot

In the end it is your choice.....to forfeit $10 bucks.....to act as an expert on teams you've never heard of.....TO HAVE FUN! Brackets are much like golf....there is always room for improvement, mastery never attained. Except of course for this year....read it and weep, baby!

Louisville Memphis Villanova Oklahoma
Louisville Villanova
Louisville !!!

*The 1997 tournament was the best ever. While attending school in Flagstaff Arizona we gathered at Chili's to watch the UofA try to knock off the defending Champion Kentucky Wildcats and to celebrate my good buddy's 21st birthday. Dollar-u-call-its when ever Arizona had the lead was the Bar's edict for the evening....it was a seesaw battle through regulation and into overtime......you never saw a group of guys run to the bar so quick to cash in on that buck drink...the Pitino tempo ensured that we were legless by night's end.....ahhhh College.
**On the 1-2-4-8-12-16 scoring scale I believe my final was 136 points. I still have the bracket and if I can find it quick enough I'll scan and post it. Beat that score!

Donkeys Falling Apart at the Seams

2009-03-18T15:00:00.000-07:00

On this glorious day (Yesterday-St. Patrick's Day) we have yet more to celebrate, so as you read, sit back and enjoy your favorite beverage in a San Diego sports team mug or cuzi.

Today in Donkey town it was 72 degrees, which tells me that San Diego weather was making an appearance and assisting in the demise of a team at a location they call Dove Valley (Donkey Headquarters.)

McJayGate as its being cleverly called

As you have heard, things have gone from bad to worse between Chokler and McDaniels here in Donkey town. Chokler, as expected did not make an appearance at the Broncos first meeting under McDaniels. He also has put his home up for sale along with his parents home here in Denver.

You and I inadvertantly thought that Chokler was an adult....an adult athlete that was mistakenly given a Pro Bowl invitation. Apparently we were incorrect bout his manhood as he seems to be attached at the hip to his family who, from recent local radio commentaries, make consistent appearances at little Jay's practices......as though he were still in Pop Warner.

With Chokler being treated as if he were a Pop Warner player, who is to blame him for his childish actions. We ought to give the shout out to Mr. CUTler for this wonderful upbringing.

What I find very interesting is the split between the fans here in Donkey Land. They are die hard through and through. Every car you see driving the streets has a sticker or more promoting their beloved Donkeys, but that's just the the half of it. They drape themselves in the orange and blue; the Post delivery man damn near wears his Donkey's hat everyday! This nucleus however has been split by the drama going on here with CUTler.

Half the folks feel as though they have a quarterback that is solid and are confident that he could be the future of the franchise, while the other half don't want the door to hit CUTler in the ass on his way out.

Today's discussion on the FAN was about McDaniels future. The question to all was, "How many wins must the Donkey's have for McDaniels to keep his job?" The comments were interesting. Firstly, statements were being made that, ".....should the Donkey's match the record of the Detroit Lions historic low from last year, McDonkys coaching career would be over. When it was all said and done the number turned out to be 3. Should the Donkey's post 3 or less wins in the 20009-10 season McDonkey will be out of a job. That would be sweet justice for this assistant Cheater turned Donkey.

So will Chris Simms be the Donkey slinger, or will they see the likes of McNabb or Delhomme? Only time will tell, but a source from McNabb's camp stated today that he was out on the Donkey's. Should he not play for Philly next year he would only be interested in playing for a contender, not a pretender.

I couldn't say it better myself. The Denver Pretenders.

Does this look like a leader of men?

Until another update from behind enemy lines...

May all things that are good shine down on our Chargers and Padres, as well as their growing rank of supporters.

Happy Birthday Mom!

2009-03-17T10:13:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Mom & Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!
Good Luck!

Bleacher Bums, Karma, Reincarnation

2009-03-16T23:30:00.000-07:00

The first incarnation of XX1090's Bleacher Bums (Earl & Jordan/Jordan & Earl), has passed on to another dimension.....one in which other cancelled programs like The Magic Hour and The Chevy Chase Show pollute the lives of an unsuspecting and alternate version of us....

Bleacher Bum Line-up numero dos = Ted Mendenhall, DI Earl and "The Hammer" Hal Brown....
Let us hope it is not a deuce...

We turned on the radio at 2:43 pm to hear Darren Smith say that "The Hammer" (program director) was holding a press conference at 3 pm. Good news came in the form of the charlatan carpetbagger Jordan being removed from XX1090. First question came from the UT's Jay Posner.....Hammer wasn't going to yield regarding his inclination to put untrained fans on air.... blah, blah, blah.....and so here we are.....

The show today was ten times better than it ever was in the previous 2 1/2 months. We got the impression that "The Hammer" is part of the line-up to lend his support for the concept. Within a few weeks however, it'll be Ted Mendenhall (a San Diego native) and DI Earl (the skeptical point of view) running the show. It was nice to be able to listen to the radio in peace and "choose" to alternate with XTRA 1360 rather than be "driven" to it out of rage.

We're willing to give Earl the benefit of the doubt for two reasons:

He's not a complete dickhead like Jordan.
His only option was failure when paired with a partner like Jordan....and that's "The Hammer's" fault.

Imagine you or We showing up in Philadelphia in 2005 and then being thrown on the radio as the voice of the fans. You or We proceed to tell Philly Fan that Donovan McNabb and Brian Dawkins have done absolutely nothing for the city. Forget the NFC Championship game appearances for who knows how many years in a row (see...we don't even know for sure because we haven't been in Philly long enough) and forget the Super Bowl appearance....it was a LOSS!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!! Donovan McNabb can't hold Tom Brady's Jock!!!!! Just keepin' it real Philadelphia!

How would that go over?

So now You or We move on to baseball where we proceed to tell Philly Fan that there is NOBODY who loves the Phillies more than We! We love 'em so much we shit maroon and that oddly tinted blue from their 1980's Uniforms each and every day!

Who cares that We can't name half of the roster from the 1980 World Series winner, which happened to be the only championship in the previous 126 years of the franchise.....of course until We got on the air and celebrated the 2008 win over that team from Tampa Bay.....

Would that ever happen? Would a San Diego fan showing up in Philadelphia ever get on the radio when he says things like, "bummer bra!", or "...can I get some Avocado on that?" .....Hell and No!!!!

(We never say 'bra'....we do love Avocado though)

Would a San Diegan get on the air after only 5 years of living there and not knowing any of the franchises' histories? Enough questions because all sentient beings know that it would NEVER happen!!!!

In summation: Today's drive time radio was improved. Chicago on a Bun's pizza is good so we'll accept the line-up change and quell boycott...for now. "The Hammer" F#$%ed up with Jordan....seeks redemption with Ted Mendenhall. Finally, we'd scrap the California Love Intro music and go with something a little more So-Cal...

This Is The End: March 15th Round-up

2009-03-15T23:15:00.000-07:00

This week was weird...

So LT is staying and the Chargers avoid having to take a RB in the 1st round....hopefully.

Bleacher Bums have on-air meltdown. We laugh, cringe and begin organizing boycotts. Enjoy the photo-shop by Blue in the upper right hand corner. That is your "Un-official" complaint link for the Bums. If they're on air tomorrow....Chicago On A Bun will see a lot more of these:

To whom it may concern:

I have long been a visitor to Di Crescenzos in Rancho Bernardo. Since the change in ownership (to Chicago on a Bun) I have continued to visit your store because, as someone who was born in Chicago, I find the food fantastic. Therefore it pains me to say that I will no longer be giving you my patronage due to your sponsorship of the Bleacher Bums on XX1090.

I am a SAN DIEGO sports fan. Not JUST a fan but a SAN DIEGO sports fan and that is an important distinction to make. I feel as though I am being berated by both Jordan and Earl for simply being from San Diego and following teams that unfortunately lack a winning tradition. As most San Diegans (including myself) are transplants to America's Finest City, I find no problem with the fact that Jordan and Earl hail from other parts of the country. Nor is it an issue that they are both critical of San Diego teams: All good fans should expect a lot of their teams and hold management accountable. I cringe but can live with their inaccurate dissemination of information because I do a fair amount of reading on my own. The issue at hand however, is simply a case of decency towards people who choose to call San Diego home. When someone chooses to go on the air and yell at San Diegans, proclaiming that we, "suck"......there will be repercussions.

Who will pay the price for the indiscretions of the Bleacher Bums? Because XX1090 believes that pawning off a defective product on its consumers is a sound business practice there is only one group to make accountable. I believe that Chicago on a Bun falls within the purview of that group: sponsorship.

My intention is to mobilize support for a boycott of your stores if you continue to run any type of sponsorship with XX1090 and the Bleacher Bums radio program. I will allow you to make the choice during these difficult economic times and this shall remain confidential until I receive word from you.

In the mean time I invite you to view the following link. There are only 44 comments but my software tells me that over 1800 people viewed the post....not one person felt inclined to leave a positive piece of feedback regarding the Bleacher Bums' program. Now if I actually made an effort to consolidate all of the dissatisfied XX1090 listeners, I can promise that you will feel the affects.

In the end this is your choice: do you feel that San Diegans are apathetic and will choose to sit pat or are you worried about the economic viability of your restaurant and your ability to continue to profit and provide employment?

Sincerely

A Concerned San Diegan

If everyone follows suit with a committed effort to make sponsorship pay we should be free of this horrible broadcasting burden. The grassroots effort begins with you...

You all were apprised of the Holy Trinity Polling: Alba a close 2% second to Biel in Extra Mustard's Hottest Jessica Poll......the gap did not close. We refuse to believe you are apathetic so we'll applaud your taste in another fine Jessica named Biel.
[Here is where we link to ourself because its that good of a post]

SDSU has a great week in baseball sweeping UNLV. I get shut out of Friday Strasburg start when parking garage refuses to take my $20 bill....something about only accepting ones and fives. Alternative neighborhood street parking is also uncooperative.....no parking until 7pm....I drive home and listen to SS, K the first seven batters he faces. At least it was on the radio...
[619 Sports]

That is what you know....here's what you might not know:

Jay Cutler has gone crazy. He's selling house in Denver. Parents are selling house in Denver. The city of Denver is unhappy with boy and his bad haircut.
[Denver Post]

Former NFL RB, Travis Henry, is in prison for a coke bust, is flat broke, and owes child support.....for his nine kids....by nine different women. The next time your life gives you lemons...forget the lemonade and ponder the plight of Travis Henry.
[Denver Post]

The United States beat the Netherlands, 9-3, to stay alive in the World Baseball Classic. Played in Miami, 157 people watched it all unfold. What a terrible baseball city yet they have two World Series Championships.......ahhhh, the torture.
[SD-Union Tribune (AP)]

There's a lot of other stuff that happened too but as far as I'm concerned its the end of the week as we know it...

SDSU Dominates The Friday Dojo

2009-03-14T10:24:00.001-07:00

San Diego State's Men and Women advance in the Mountain West Conference basketball tournament and Stephen Strasburg strikes out 14 in the Aztecs' 4-3 win over UNLV.

For full report see:
[619 Sports]

One Half of Circus Fired?

2009-03-13T23:54:00.000-07:00

Has one half of the circus been dismissed? According to a Gaslamp Ball secret source, Jordan/Jordan Downtown/JDT/Sideshow Bob/Raging Douche has been dismissed by XX1090.

Please God..........do not forsake us.......bestow upon us, your heavenly grace, in our time of need...

Bleacher Bum Jordan Fired!!!
[Gaslamp Ball]

The Stockholm Syndrome, Hal Brown's Clowns, and Making a Claim For San Diego

2009-03-13T16:49:00.000-07:00

Hal Brown's Bleacher Clowns

Help unplug this decade's version of Ryan Leaf. Here in San Diego we have a distinct lineage of abject failures, ranging from the crybaby antics of Ryan Leaf ("Knock it off!") to the foolish proclamations of Matt Bush ("I'm Matt "Fucking" Bush....Fuck East County!"). They have embarrassed us both locally and nationally.

I sincerely doubt that the the Guy From New York and the Guy Who Claims Atlanta with the show named after Chicago Cubs Fans will ever make national headlines but that is no reason to accept any further abuse from XX1090's Program Director. It makes no economic sense to retain the clowns known as The Bleacher Bums. Sponsorship will soon attest to that.

For those suffering from Stockholm Syndrome, I say to you:

"Snap the fuck out of it!!!"

Just because it is cool to regularly hear your voice on the radio doesn't make it a good idea. We are ALL dumber for having been subjected to this program for the last 10 weeks.....including you, Mr. Regular caller. Break the shackles that bind you....you need not be a hostage anymore.

To those transplants who yearn to call in because it is a friendly environment and proceed to start every call with, "I'm a (insert stupid non-San Diego team name here) fan, and I love your show......".........

"You can go Fuck yourself!!!"

This is San Diego and shit like that doesn't fly elsewhere so it shouldn't fly here. Start supporting the place you live!

Here is the official XX 1090 Bleacher Bum Removal Petition: Click here.

There's 291 signatures and that ain't enough to remove these clowns by Monday so get after it fellow San Diegans. In the words of Joey Ramone:

"We want the airwaves....that's right, that's right..."

Bad Radio Can Be So Tiring...

2009-03-13T00:01:00.000-07:00

Eagerly awaiting a photo-shop job by Blue Ballzed I keep going in and out of my e-mail box. This has been an all day affair. Now each time I log out, throughout the day, I see the same article on my MSN page:

Still got it: The Sexiest Women Over 40

The accompanying picture is that of 42 year old Salma Hayek.......she of the sexiest scene ever put on film........the year was 1996..........and thanks to YouTube.......we can enjoy......

Why LT really stayed in SD......to make the Bleacher Bums Miserable! Thanks LT!

2009-03-12T10:58:00.000-07:00

Housing Market Bad..... Sports Radio Worse

We recall listening to the Bleacher Bums last week ( forced to do it! long drive...sports addicted...XTRA 1360 didn't tune in...) and they continued to maintain that they did not believe that LT would be returning, which is their opinion and that's fair. Part of their supporting argument was that LT's ego was too big to accept a pay-cut which made for a fairly weak rationale. Are they in LT's inner-circle? What was strange however was how they continued to maintain that LT would not return but qualified the opinion with the following remark:

"WE want LT to stay with the Chargers."

So were Jordan and Earl happy when the LT restructuring news came in? Apparently not. Jordan has spent the last two days talking about LT's ear rings and style, damning his community work, proclaiming that LT has accomplished NOTHING because there is no Lombardi trophy in SD, and worst of all.............insulting San Diego fans and residents alike. Is it professional to say that your listeners, "suck!"?

Where does he think he's broadcasting? Is this not San Diego? Are we not San Diegans? Are we so apathetic that we could accept this sort of treatment?

These are questions for us all to ponder....

For more Steve Breen Political Cartoon Excellence: Click here

For the original, "What the hell has XX1090 done with our Drive-Time Show?", post and comment thread: Click Here

Editor's note:

At the time of this post we were not aware that the Dynamic Douche-o had been suspended. Glorious! Darren Smith had to listen to callers complain and then LT's business manager came on the air to talk about all of the texts he received regarding Jordan's comments about LT's charity work. In case you didn't hear:

“I'm listening to Mama LT this morning with Scott and BR, and God bless them, too, bringing up the turkeys again – do me a favor, stick the turkeys up your ass. I don't care about the turkeys. I don't care about your charity.”

After Darren's show was inundated with complaints the Coach took over the barrage of comments. Nice job Bums...

Radio team "Jordan and Earl" off air for 2 days:
[SD Union Tribune]
Time to talk about turkeys and drive-time radio:
[SD Union Tribune]
Pull the plug: Radio duo's latest stunt nets a suspension, and should end the awful experiment
[North County Times]
LOL Bleacher Bums
[619 Sports]
(11:01 pm)

Sports Illustrated Polls The Holy Trinity

2009-03-11T22:30:00.000-07:00

Sports Illustrated (SI.com) has a section called Extra Mustard which deals with all sorts of goofy pop culture crap ranging from new video games to hot cheerleaders of the week. What ever.....if mixing that sort of nonsense with sports is SI's thing......then, honestly, we're all for it.

This week's Extra Mustard is running a poll: Who Is The World's Hottest Jessica?

Obviously the Holy Trinity of Jessicas are in play but to this Blog's dismay Ms. Alba is running two points behind Ms. Biel. It feels like Presidential primaries all over again! The candidates are charging into New Hampshire trying to set the tone for the election season and its up to YOU to restore the proper pecking order for the Holy Trinity of Jessicas....

In the Name of the Alba

The Biel

and the Pop Singer Simpson

......get thy self to the polls and push this site's Avatar over the top!
Sports Illustrated says it is socially acceptable to partake.

Currently Polling at 35%
VOTE FOR JESSICA ALBA HERE

LT remains sounds better than LT's remains

2009-03-10T22:00:00.000-07:00

LaDainian Tomlinson stays put.

A crazy few weeks we've seen here in San Diego. From the AJ Smith mocking incident to the drama filled merry-go-round provided by the UT's Kevin Acee and XX1090's line-up of hosts. It had become awfully draining to listen to the "pundits" as well as shortsighted fans lend their expertise on the issue. I felt that LT was coming back all along (ok-so there was SOME doubt) because it made practical sense: the Chargers have needs on both sides of the ball so why create yet another hole by eliminating your workhorse running back?

But the last week brought a new set of intrigues. We heard from LT's mom on The Scott and BR Show.....and then the same show provided commentary from Drew Brees.....the sort of commentary that may have led you to believe that two buddies talking behind the scenes had come to some sort of "too-good-to-be-true" reunion agreement. Then Acee reported Friday night that the offer was on the table for LT's taking.... and then SI's Peter King gave his 2 cents... which generally doesn't count for shit especially considering that cap "experts" (that horrible word again) were saying that the Saints were in no position to pay a player like LT.

Let's take a step back.........and acknowledge that history is our best teacher (this is the post I was going to write, my predicted outcome, before I saw the good news).

AJ SMITH DOES NOT SIGN FREE AGENTS TO BUILD THE CHARGERS.........HE USES THE DRAFT.

The above statement is half true. AJ Smith doesn't sign free agents..... from other teams ......he signs his own. From AJ Smith's point of view he made an excellent acquisition in the form of retaining Darren Sproles through use of the franchise tag (buying himself time to negotiate a long term deal). AJ added to the team.

Now LT was not a free agent but the minute it was decided that his salary hindered the Chargers' future plans (signing Rivers, et al.) he became expendable and was viewed as a Cap-Casualty thus an ex-Charger. What has AJ done? He added a RB, who wasn't supposed to be here, to his roster....... at the price-tag he desired. How tricky..... AJ added a player during the Free Agency signing period.

Remember Kris Diehlman's free agency a couple years back? He shopped his services but ultimately returned to sign a new contract with the Chargers. AJ considered that a free agent addition.

This was a calculated gamble on AJ's part and he did his absolute best to blow it by insulting LT and making him feel unwanted. This team would have taken a step backwards had we lost LT and then felt compelled to use our 1st round pick on a running back. Disaster averted.....

Let's cross our fingers for Rey Maualuga.....

[Chargers.com]
Chargers, Tomlinson agree on new three-year contract

[SI.com]
Jim Trotter: LT, Bolts agree to restructured 3-year deal

[SD Union-Tribune]
Tomlinson agrees to restructured deal with Chargers

...oh yea...the Chargers also added ex-Dallas LB Kevin Burnett. Read all about it...

This is The End: March 8th Round-up

2009-03-08T22:30:00.000-07:00

These are stories from the week that we either touched on (see:Dancing With The Stars mash unit), wished for (see: A-Rod's karma to come full circle), or missed entirely (See: Vasgersian...I don't know anyone who EVEN has the MLB network). No matter the story's relevance....this is the End.

[XX1090 Scott & BR-audio]
LT's Mom doesn't like his chances of returning and while bitter at the way her son has been treated acknowledges that, "she's just a mom". Word will probably be in by Wednesday....why would LT wait any longer if he plans on rejecting the final Charger offer?

[Sports Illustrated]
The advantages to that time of year when we "spring" forward and add a little extra prime-time day light and warmth........if time constrains you and you're only going to click one of these links.......this is it, friends.

[Deadspin-audio]
Santa Maria!!!!! Matty V said something you can't say on the air during the MLB network's inaugural season.......I'll miss the team of Matt and Mudcat.

[Deadspin]
Michael Lewis' Moneyball is an absolutely fascinating read. Interesting theories, but put into practice, it is a steaming pile of crap. So let's make a movie about it and star Brad Pitt as Mt. Carmel's Billy Beane! Can you say steaming pile of......?

First Julianne Hough bows out....now Nancy O'Dell and Jewel

[SD Union Tribune]

The Padres' farm system gets rated 29th out of 30 teams by Baseball America. Kyle Blanks is the only Padre rated in the top 100 of all MLB prospects (noteworthy: I watched him hit on Saturday and while a massive man at 6'6" and 270 lbs, I think he could play LF. Doesn't look oafish like Adam Dunn......he's very calm at the plate.....I saw him K and then hit one on a line off the top of the fence).

[XX1090 Darren Smith-audio]
Sandy Alderson talks about stuff......like captaining a farm system ranked 29th by Baseball America.

[619 Sports]
A case made for using your dollars on the passion found in our local college teams. This is your opportunity to get a little extra 411 on the sporting events in the 619.......San Diegans, Support!

[Hugging Harold Reynolds]
Cooooooool.......Now we get to taunt Manny as he "Mans" left for the Dodgers in '09. Let's make a concerted effort to throw monopoly money at ManRam when he visits our left field. Anyways, listen to the audio garnered by HHR of Manny's agent Scott Boras. It must be nice to be able to turn down $25 million in this economy.

[SD Union Tribune (AP)]
A-Rod gets familiar with Karma.

Aztecs v. Toreros: Game 1 of Crosstown Series

2009-03-06T14:56:00.000-08:00

USD's Cunningham Stadium...an oddly configured viewing experience

This is your weekly reminder of what San Diegans have rather than what they do not. We do not have a Charger Super Bowl Championship or the promise of a successful Padre season on the horizon.

We do have the country's 11th ranked baseball team in the University of San Diego Toreros.

AND

We do have the consensus #1 pick in this June's Amateur MLB Draft in San Diego State's Stephen Strasburg.

Yesterday they did battle at USD's Cunningham Stadium and I witnessed unadulterated dominion of man. I arrived in the 5th inning and watched Strasburg record 12 outs......11 of which were by strikeout. He made the 11th ranked Toreros look like children defensively waving at a birthday party pinata. It was awesome! In the end Strasburg recorded his 3rd victory of the young season (3-0) and the Aztecs won 5-3. Allegedly Strasburg gave up a two run bomb.....strictly rumor and innuendo......USD is a private Catholic institution and Providence is the only logical explanation for how Strasburg could be touched up for a two spot.

For analysis of Strasburg's dominance:
[619 Sports]

Aztec/Torero Game Report
[SD Union Tribune]

So if you are lamenting the upcoming Padre season and you can't wait for the Chargers to return, do yourself a favor: Get yourself to USD and SDSU during the 2009 College Baseball Campaign.

The Padres Draft 3rd in 2009.....F$%K!!!

In...The...SportsWorld! Nancy O'Dell's Meniscus

2009-03-05T21:59:00.000-08:00

The gossipy Access Hollywood is worth watching

Nancy O'Dell has been injured and will not be able to compete in this season's Dancing With The Stars. It looks as though the Access Hollywood host has a torn meniscus in two places.....she'll be relegated to the trainer's table for this session (not unlike the South African rugby players who spend the bulk of practice sessions, prostrate, getting their feet rubbed by the trainer).

"We" do not usually watch........no........I won't even try and justify this post. I don't have to! I'll only say that a torn meniscus whilst dancing is "sports talk worthy" and I find Nancy O'Dell to be absolutely mesmerizing. I won't apologize for this.

Access Meniscus