Dear Patriot Tears

According to the Daily Mail, via the website FJuice (click for a great GIF of Gisele modeling/knocked up):

"Gisele Bundchen and her new husband Tom Brady haven’t wasted any time following their February wedding - the supermodel is reportedly already pregnant."

Dear Patriot Tears

You are screwed! Zoolander has had it easy so far because kiddo#1 is living on the West Coast with mommy far away from daddy. But I'm here to tell you that the record breaking offense of 2007 is a relic of the past. Henceforth, Tom Terrific will be operating on very little sleep during valuable game-planning preparations thus leading to extraordinary inefficiencies in their Death Star offense.

Those little rascals are demanding and tiring!!! Is Tom ready to redefine his existence as a human Kleenex...... a means to an end for an endlessly runny infant's nose during the bitter northeastern winter months? If so, New England, you're doomed!

Of course, Tom could become an absentee father, utilize their overflowing funds on a nanny....and be well rested for 2009......what say you, History?

Another Edition of Hate-Email

More sharing out..... What do Patriot Fans do in their spare time? They seek the destruction of this blog and the positive affirmation that Boston is a great sports city and that we, lowly San Diego, are but peons in the universal sports landscape. The incursions into my email-box are ripe with elitism and condescension..... but all too entertaining. Perhaps if you, good reader, questioned why fans across the country dislike Boston supporters this email will provide clarity....at the minimum, it meets my daily posting goals....and provides for pictures of Celtic and Bruin Cheerleaders.

Tom's B.C. (A mutually agreed upon alias)
Hahahahaha SD is LOSERVILLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry, i take that back, afterall you do have the Padres, BWWWAAAAAHHH LMFAO!!!!

Oh and yes SD did beat the Pats arses during an early season, regular season, with a not yet blossoming Matt Cassell... But don't worry, if we meet in a BIG reg season or god forbid the play-offs again the Pats will prevail, believe me it's very enjoyable watching the Pats end the whiniest, most overeated team in the league the SD DOLTS!!!!!!!!!!! BWWWWAAAAHHHHH LMFAO.

Boston = 31 World Championships

San Diego = O (hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha)

Plus, dude you can't even sell out playoff games out there, yu were in danger of blackout for your opener and your playoff games. THAT IS SO FUCKING LAME, GO AWAY D-BAG...{sic}

PS, no more replies from me, I dont lower myself to talk sports with anyone who follows a cities teams that have NEVER (or never will) win a single solitary champonship....

SAN DIEGO = 3RD RATE PRO SPORTS TOWN (TRANSLATION SD = IRRELEVANT){sic}

Avenger-In-Chief
Once again--I'm not going away---you came to me, clown.

We actually do have 1 championship...can you guess who it's against, smart guy? Here's how your email reads.....I'm a fan of Boston sports because they win championships (31). So will your loyalty cease the minute they stop winning? I'll stay with my two teams regardless of championships. ...and I'm glad you won't be replying anymore. You ARE a front runner!

Im answering against my better judgement, because your stupidity is to compelling to leave alone. Ok, WOW you really are a Dolt fan, one has never (qand will NEVER) won a world championship in ANY sport. You won an AFC championship against the Boston Patriots in like 63 or some shit, uhmmmmmmmm tht dont count dude, see there was another, bigger, better league playing at that time called the NFL and their champion is recogmized as the World champion, not the fledgeling AFC. So get your facts right, D-BAG. Also, Im not a fan because Boston has 31 World Championships, that just helps, I've been a Ptriots, Sox, B's and Celts fan since I was a kid, a loooooong time ago. See, we have passion here, unlike your irrelevant 3rd rate, bush league city that cant even (LMFO) sell out its home opener and playoff games in time. Go away Jagoff..{sic}

I knew you couldn't resist replying. You need to proof your emails and develop your reading comprehension skills. I never said anything about a "World" championship...I said championship....you know, the kind you brag about when you win your slow pitch softball league.

It should also be noted that if you're going to discount a championship from the sixties you'll be erasing a good part of Boston's "title town" legacy. The harsh and abrasive tone of your emails clarifies how extremely tough you are and I'm sure your co-workers cower in your wake as you return from an unacceptable 1 for 4 during the previous night's big softball game....having said that, I'm glad you have your championships...I think you need them more than I do.

Best of luck managing your passion and your overflowing mantle of trophies...front-runner.

Leave your opinions in the comment section...

Charger Girls...they are not.

Dear Patriot Tears #18

"whats cassels franchise tag #?"

Posted by dick johnson December 28, 08 07:44 PM

Dear Patriot Tears,

Excellent....wait a minute....Dick Johnson?.....I get it!...Clever sign in name and an Excellent Question!! You must find out the amount because pictured to the right is the "Former Almost Mrs. Zoolander" and she's sure to ruin Brady-Zoolander's career. Ya see, that engagement between Brady and Giselle that allegedly happened on Christmas Eve, just became official ...again.

So, Pat Fan, if you think a former actress is gonna let one of the most powerful Supermodels in the world raise her son.....to speak Portuguese!!! ..... you've got another thing coming. Get ready for Moynihan to make Brady's life a living hell!!!! He'll be one of the most distracted Dad's in the NFL......and if he's not......then we guess he's a deadbeat dad....like Bird......low blow!

In short.....keep Cassel.