Friends Look Out For Friends

Each one of us has a fanaticism for our respective team and it spans a most diverse Arc....you have your casual viewers and your Authentic Jersey Purchasers....there's those who comment on UT articles and sports blogs and those who queue up to say their piece on the radio....and let us not forget the face and body painters who I find myself guilty of sitting in judgement of from time to time.

I'd be remiss if I did not mention those who actually run their own blogs...those people are complete freaks!

We ALL give a crap to varying extents and none of us should judge one another as to the quirkiness of our fanaticism....unless you are this Giants fan below. The previous post provided a link to Kissing Suzy Kolber where the fan footage was initially found....it must be preserved for posterity here at The "WHTNEP" San Diego Sports Fan Collective...

Friends Look out For Friends so please kick me in the balls if you ever see ANYTHING close to that guy's behavior out of me. I in turn will kick you in the balls and give you a flying knee to the chin as you keel over in pain....

fanatic |fəˈnatik|
noun
a person filled with excessive and single-minded zeal, esp. for an extreme religious or political cause. See note at zealot .
• [often with adj. ] informal a person with an obsessive interest in and enthusiasm for something, esp. an activity : a fitness fanatic.
adjective [ attrib. ]
filled with or expressing excessive zeal : his fanatic energy.

DERIVATIVES
fanaticism |fəˈnatəˌsizəm| |fəˈnødəˈsɪzəm| |-tɪsɪz(ə)m| noun
fanaticize |fəˈnatəˌsīz| |fəˈnødəˈsaɪz| |-tɪsʌɪz| verb

ORIGIN mid 16th cent. (as an adjective): from French fanatique or Latin fanaticus ‘of a temple, inspired by a god,’ from fanum ‘temple.’ The adjective originally described behavior or speech that might result from possession by a god or demon, hence the earliest sense of the noun [a religious maniac] (mid 17th cent.).

Excessive fanaticism should be met with a swift kick in the nutz! Nothing better than a little perspective provided by one of the most viewed YouTube videos out there...

Dear Patriot Tears #24

It's all right...I fackin' pissed myself to keep wahhm.

Dear Patriot Tears

How about some tears regarding the Cardinals entry into the Superbowl? A brilliant parody of your fan base exists with regularity over at the Kissing Suzy Kolber site. Click Here to go and READ most accurately what a Boston accent SOUNDS like and also how moronic a majority of their sports nation is.

It is seriously one of the funniest things you will read....

Most funny if you have ever seen a game in Foxborough, Massachusetts.

Least funny if you are from Massachusetts and are not a dickhead ..... like the ones we met in Foxborough, Massachusetts.

This does not include my good friend from Boston who we creatively nicknamed "Boston" back during the season they eventually lost to the Packers in the Super Bowl.

Enjoy the Idiot Patriot Fan creation of Drew Magrary @ KSK...

Hapless Raiders, Almost Massholes, and Tom Brady

We recognized Patriot QB Matt Cassel as our Almost Masshole of the Week yesterday for his 4 touchdown performance against the *Hapless Raiders after his father had passed away earlier in the week. It feels as though we would be "cheating" on Tom Brady however if we didn't in some way mention him today.

It must be stressed, that in no way do we feel that Zoolander is a "System Quarterback", due to the sustained success Matt Cassel has experienced with the New England Patriots this season.... immense success after not having started a game since the days when he would have (or might have) funneled six beers and then gone to the local Denny's where he would have proceeded to projectile vomit blueberry milkshakes on to unsuspecting underclassmen.....we call those days high school (by "we", we mean, "we").

Tom Brady is probably not a System Quarterback....which brings us to......a thought on Tom Brady.

Pouting or Blue Steel?

We saw this picture of Tom Terrific while reading a very funny "alleged diatribe" by him against Matt Cassel (Click for funniness).

Now while the piece over at Kissing Suzy Kolber was very funny we like to use those sort of things as "springboards" to new avenues of thinking....some people call that "thinking outside the box"....we call it "a waste of time" and being "overly critical" but in the end "very funny" and an ample excuse to use "quotation marks". Our critique.....

We've never seen an athlete's eye black so perfectly drawn beneath the eyes.

It was done so perfectly it got us to thinking...was it put on by a woman? Like a supermodel girlfriend? Then we thought, wait a minute, it looks just like the woman in the restroom for the State Farm Insurance commercial, Feeling Kinda Sunday, who uses the mascara to apply the athletic eye black...so we went and found a picture! Guess what we found...

sorry it's not on straight...I'm not a really, really, really, ridiculously, good looking male model

...aside from the fact that she would look much hotter without bangs (is that a Metro evaluation?), she did a pretty acceptable job with the ol' black stuff. And by acceptable we mean to say that it looks like a MAN PUT IT ON!

As it pertains to Tom Brady: he is an even bigger Metro than we thought or Giselle does his make-up in the locker room. Either scenario spells f-r-u-i-t-l-o-o-p or in the Northeastern vernacular of Bahston, Mass......yah ah fahkin homo queuhh.

Allow us to give a tutorial on how not to look like Tom Brady.....

show 'em your warface

If you choose to actually take time during application try to look menacing...

I am going to kill you...seriously...

If at any time you are accused of committing murder....well then you can wear your eye black any way you fuckin' please!

Tom Brady is a douche bag.

*From hence forward we will refer to the Oakland Raiders as The Hapless Raiders. I was reading a book that described the Tampa Bay Devil Rays as The Hapless Devil Rays back in 2004 on account of their suckitude (a high aptitude for sucking) so it seems appropriate to attach that moniker to the team from Oakland because they are a real embarrassment. Oh yea...the book was Faithful by Stephen King....about the 2004 Boston Red Sox....Maybe Stephen King should have been our Almost Masshole of the Week for helping us with a new name for the Oakland Raiders (technically King is from Maine but since the Red Sox and Patriots reside in MA but are claimed by all New Englanders....he's a Masshole).