It's the Thighnal over at Sharapova's Thigh and we have Krystal Forscutt (Aussie on top) versus Keeley Hazell (Brit on bottom). Look at the pictures and guess who's winning......
Trust me....She's pasty! You'll see it if you get to the Thigh.
....wrong!
Somehow people are picking the pasty big boobed girl over the tanned big boobed girl. Tis a travesty so make like Mookie and Do The Right Thing. 2009 Hot Ladies Tournament Championship Game
Editors Note: Amazingly the Padres have won 8 in a row....haven't checked it but I think they have averaged 3 runs per game during stretch. How the hell does that happen? Smoke and mirrors.
Unfortunately Matt Serra lost to Matt Hughes after nearly knocking him out in the first round. Hughes has become (or became quite some time ago) this Favre-ian type "every man" who does half of his UFC photo-ops in front of a tractor. To his Illinois farm will Hughes retire one day. Gimme a break. Midwestern farmers are humble people....Matt Hughes is a braggart....and a cock.....and in the words of Matt Serra, "He's a dick!".
Lyoto Machida is a bad man. I gave him a slight edge over Rashad Evans but he ended up punishing him......severely. The Light-heavy belt has changed hands in like five consecutive fights---Machida-Evans-Griffin-Jackson-?Lidell?--- ......who knows? I could see The Dragon defending for a while......although the 205 lb division is pretty stacked.
Oh yea.....the Padres won....again! In case you didn't believe me earlier.
Live Blog to begin in approximately FOUR Minutes....
Baby's arm holding a plum...kicked with furious anger....pay back's a bitch. What is the capital of Thailand. French Belgian was more angry about getting kicked in the balls. Cheik Kongo wins via knock out.
Congo defeats Turkey in first round of Cabby Turf Wars...Homeland Security Alert Level raised to ORANGE!!!
Don't mess with the French...
Don't knee guys in the balls...you WILL get kneed back...
Crotch Fest 92 The Ultimate...
7:28 pm Up Next....Axe Murderer versus Rampage
In the diva battle (Mariah Carey versus Whitney Houston-skin tone reference for non-fight fans watching), knockout....Silva might be dead...really.
Rampage evoked God after the fight...It is clear that Jesus wants men disposed of via vicious left hook.
To paraphrase "Mudcat" Grant, "Boom goes the DYNAMITE!"
Pride of Patterson pounds Pussy from TemPE then gets mounted and Perversely Pummeled...that's Alliteration Assholes. Dolloway wins...Go to the Tropicana, that's where he's partying...Dolloway's voice won't annoy you to death, ladies...Get Some!
Lots of blood...it must be that time of month....fight night, you dirt bags! Hammel wins by knockout because Jesus don't tap (that's what Andy's shorts said anyway...better than Condom Depot)
8:20 PM
In the battle of dudes run over by heavy machinery (Mir/Motorcycle and Noguiera/Truck)...The Minotaur is slain by Frank Mir...convincingly!
Post Fight he calls out Brock Lesnar by conjuring Val Kilmer's Doc Holiday....Mir says, "I'll make you famous!"
8:45PM
9:20
Mike Goldberg astutely pointed out how proud, Forrest Griffin is of his Irish background as his Irish themed background music began playing....of course the band was the Drop kick Murphys who incidentally are Massholes.
Griffin through two rounds looked phenomenal landing leg kicks......then he got punched 12 times in a row off of the face and the fight was stopped.
Rashad Evans is the new Light Heavyweight Champ. His rear end looked enormous and in a night that seemed to have an intended theme (lots of crotch shots) Rashad Evans made sure to gesture to his groin and either imply that FG should:
suck it...or
tee-off on it
...Forest did neither. We like Forest and look forward to seeing him fight again.
After a long day I turned on Spike this evening to find a Live UFC event. I was immediately captivated by two things:
The advertisement across the back of one fighter's trunks.
The audience decked out in camouflage UFC shirts.
Now the advertisement was the impetus for this post....trust me...funny...very funny (I will "insert" tasteless joke at the end of this post along with picture)....but my motivation to burn the midnight oil changed very quickly after I saw that it was not only a fight put on for the entertainment of US soldiers but for the benefit of them as well.
Specifically at hand was the issue of TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) and the infusion of money needed to help these injured soldiers upon returning from Iraq and Afghanistan. The event was not limited to TBI however, as the goal was to raise enough money to build a state of the art treatment facility that would cater to all soldiers returning home with life altering injuries. This endeavor is being undertaken by the Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund, a not-for-profit organization.
Why keep reading?
The UFC card was interspersed with vignettes about some of our returning soldiers, the challenges they face, and unfortunately the inadequate care they receive. These little life stories had an intended impact and I cried. I'm sure I wasn't the only one. UFC announcer Mike Goldberg (paraphrasing) said that, "If you weren't moved by these stories you weren't a human!" It was not hyperbole.
TBI was first brought to my attention when I saw that ABC anchorman Bob Woodruff suffered a brain injury while embedded in Iraq. The documentary that was created a year after the injury discussed not only the challenges he was facing but the adverse conditions that veterans encountered upon return to the States. To see young men who gave so much only to receive so little from their government was a deplorable thing to view...
Throw politics out the window, it doesn't matter. These are the twenty-somethings brushing by you on a downtown sidewalk who by all accounts are just like us. Their story is still being written though, and it was a mere chapter ago that they were missing 1/3 of their brain encased in a newly created plastic skull and had spent the last year in the hospital wearing a helmet, undergoing intensive physical therapy. The picture I paint pales in comparison to what I saw in the Woodruff documentary and the little clips I watched during the UFC.
The economy is unsteady and our money is tight but I know who I would like to help here at year's end. Everything counts in small amounts (Depeche Mode?...sorry). Money is not always necessary though. Contact your Congressman/Congresswoman or U.S. Senator to encourage them to pass legislation in support of veterans affairs.
At the minimum I would encourage you to educate yourself on what these young men and women are encountering as they try and assimilate back into American life. I think the UFC tag line for the night said it best:
Turn back while you have the chance....If you are a good Samaritan who found your way to the previous post in an effort to help our troops....turn back....it is a downward spiral from here on out...keep your dignity. Do yourself a favor and stay classy!
We don't take issue with an advertisement for the Condom Depot on any Fighter's trunks. We won't begrudge these athletes an opportunity to make a few extra dollars and let's be honest when we say....some people shouldn't procreate....if it takes a blatant banner on the shorts of a Takwondo/Brazilian Jujitsu expert then so be it.
We do however take umbrage with the exact location of the banner as it sits slightly above Razak Al-Hassan's *&(^&#%.......how about the side of the trunks fella? Or maybe even the front? Would have made sense, yes?
Depot comes from the Latin- depositum'something deposited' (see Deposit). To advertise Condoms being deposited.... in that exact location.....just seems, well.....hell!! You sure better be able to fight.
Al-Hassan would later get his elbow dislocated and lose via referee stoppage. The next fight we saw before blogging was the destruction of French Canadian Jonathan Goulet (does that adjective discount his 'Canadian-ness' ? We feel Ponto would give the ol' affirmative.). Can you guess what was wall papered across Goulet's rear end?
So we saw two fighters get their asses absolutely handed to them while advocating for safe #$%^ intercourse. Guess they won't have to worry about their careers going the Tommy Morrison route....
Can't wait 'til December 27th...there won't be any Condom Depot on that card.
