Donkeys Falling Apart at the Seams

On this glorious day (Yesterday-St. Patrick's Day) we have yet more to celebrate, so as you read, sit back and enjoy your favorite beverage in a San Diego sports team mug or cuzi.

Today in Donkey town it was 72 degrees, which tells me that San Diego weather was making an appearance and assisting in the demise of a team at a location they call Dove Valley (Donkey Headquarters.)

McJayGate as its being cleverly called

As you have heard, things have gone from bad to worse between Chokler and McDaniels here in Donkey town. Chokler, as expected did not make an appearance at the Broncos first meeting under McDaniels. He also has put his home up for sale along with his parents home here in Denver.

You and I inadvertantly thought that Chokler was an adult....an adult athlete that was mistakenly given a Pro Bowl invitation. Apparently we were incorrect bout his manhood as he seems to be attached at the hip to his family who, from recent local radio commentaries, make consistent appearances at little Jay's practices......as though he were still in Pop Warner.

With Chokler being treated as if he were a Pop Warner player, who is to blame him for his childish actions. We ought to give the shout out to Mr. CUTler for this wonderful upbringing.

What I find very interesting is the split between the fans here in Donkey Land. They are die hard through and through. Every car you see driving the streets has a sticker or more promoting their beloved Donkeys, but that's just the the half of it. They drape themselves in the orange and blue; the Post delivery man damn near wears his Donkey's hat everyday! This nucleus however has been split by the drama going on here with CUTler.

Half the folks feel as though they have a quarterback that is solid and are confident that he could be the future of the franchise, while the other half don't want the door to hit CUTler in the ass on his way out.

Today's discussion on the FAN was about McDaniels future. The question to all was, "How many wins must the Donkey's have for McDaniels to keep his job?" The comments were interesting. Firstly, statements were being made that, ".....should the Donkey's match the record of the Detroit Lions historic low from last year, McDonkys coaching career would be over. When it was all said and done the number turned out to be 3. Should the Donkey's post 3 or less wins in the 20009-10 season McDonkey will be out of a job. That would be sweet justice for this assistant Cheater turned Donkey.

So will Chris Simms be the Donkey slinger, or will they see the likes of McNabb or Delhomme? Only time will tell, but a source from McNabb's camp stated today that he was out on the Donkey's. Should he not play for Philly next year he would only be interested in playing for a contender, not a pretender.

I couldn't say it better myself. The Denver Pretenders.

Does this look like a leader of men?

Until another update from behind enemy lines...

May all things that are good shine down on our Chargers and Padres, as well as their growing rank of supporters.

Behind The Bad Hair CUTler

As Many of you have heard by now, there is a little ruffling of feathers going on here in Donkey Land.

actions only being comparable to one who played quarterback before him. That being The comments have gone as far as Chokler'sCryin Leaf. Yes, you heard me correctly, the despicable name of Leaf yet again has been muttered. However, I must say it truly sounds good when it is involving someone like Chokler, or should we return to his real name CUTler. For being the little bitch we all knew he is......we'll stick to the God given spelling: CUTler...and hope to see the axe get wielded.

Apparently Matt Cassel was the name McDaniels (Former and Current Cheater), coach of the Donkeys was after. CUTler getting word of this has taken a stand,

"They want me to come talk to them, but I am not going to."

What the hell is that! This is the NFL we are talking about, not the likes of Barbie's Big Adventure. These actions can only be described as mirroring that of a little girl. I am amazed that anyone is willing to put up with these actions. Crying CUTler will hopefully make this big enough to rid Charger Fans of our horrible memories of "Cryin Leaf".....we shall pass the baton to the Donkey Fans and "Crying CUTler".

One quote on the radio today pretty much summed it up. "Jay is a boy with a bad haircut, why would you expect anything less."

As this evening progressed a trade to Detroit is what is looking most realistic for CUTler. This will send CUTler and T.E. Scheffler to Detroit for something like a 4th round pick. Not sure what the Donkeys would really be getting in return, but that sounds about right, wouldn't you say.

Moving on the Sand Cassel now presiding in Kansas City. What Kansas City doesn't understand is that their quarterback is the least of their issues. They are the worst team in football, only behind the likes of the Detroit Lions. On the bright side, there is nothing like seeing a Hatriot twice a year, especially when that Sand Cassel will be washed away by the San Diego waves. I am looking forward to the BOLTS D taking their frustration and hatred out on this Hatriot as we give him a San Diego welcome next year when he arrives at Jack Murphy (Q).

What an eventful way for this March to begin.

Bulletin to AJ SMITH. We DO need a Hall of Fame Back.

Get LT's contract solidified and don't take a moment to allow our beloved BOLTS to deal with any more of this soap opera drama. Instead take care of what needs to be done!

That's what I have for now Chief.... will keep a close eye on the local news and look to contribute a bit more. Have not got into Spring Training yet, and will be dropping some emails on the Pads in the near future. Jake sure looked good today in the three innings he pitched.

Hope all is good there.

GO BOLTS / GO PADS

Charger Fan in Donkey Land
(sent Sunday Evening 3/1/09)

Viewpoint Out Of Donkey Land

As I sit here after an eventful day of rug-rats running around celebrating my son's birthday, and the snow begins to fall, I find myself deeply interested in the challenges that are being reported on this blog between LT and AJ.

I am somewhat/mostly removed from those type of updates and depend solely on this lovely blog to provide me that high level information I am not getting on a daily basis here in Donkey Land. Instead I am inundated with Donkey coaching changes and additions of people who I could care less to hear about, but do find humorous on occasion. Other than that, football is dead in Donkey land; all you can get updates on are the Avalanche (NHL) and the occasional Mammoth (indoor lacrosse) or Nuggets (NBA).

The most recent addition the new young man put in charge of the Donkeys for the next few years has selected to do is, keep it in the family. This is somewhat how the report went, on the local news a few days back. Josh McDaniels brings in younger brother as an offensive assistant, his previous experience is with an Ohio High School team where he held the QB Coach position.

"Yes from High school to the Broncos (with a major "nah-look" on his face)"

Take a look at this link to the local news on the hiring....

http://www.9news.com/sports/article.aspx?storyid=108240&catid=295

.....also do not hesitate to read the comments in link (hilarious)... some are right on, such as this one:

Josh: But Ben, do you really think you are ready for this type of leap?
Ben: Give me a chance bro. Do you remember when I coached the QB's at Massillon Jackson High School 4 years ago?...Jackson High School,

Hail to you.
Our days with you and our friends so true,
are the happiest days of our lives.
We'll sing this song to our athlete's strong,
to a team that never fails.
So in all we do be brave and true,
Jackson High School, Hail to you.

Josh: Yeah, I do, but that was 4 years ago. What have you been doing since?
Ben: I coached QB's at Canton McKinley HS just 2 years ago.
Josh: Oh, right! I forgot about that.
Ben: So, am I hired? I just really want to meet Nate Jackson.
Josh: Deal. How about I make you the assistant head football coach of the Denver Broncos. Sound good?
Ben: Perfect.

Comments like these from the "Bronco Faithful in Bronco Country" have me laughing, and though stuck in this snowy "paradise", I can not help but get a feeling of further confidence about how we will handle these Donkeys in the future, Ed Hochuli or not.

On another note that I am very unfamiliar with, and as stated look to you as my eyes and ears back in the homeland: AJ vs. LT.

It was not long ago when AJ arrived on the scene after the sudden death of John Butler. While making some good decisions during his time here as it pertains to deals and the draft, it sounds as though his health is beginning to fail him. Some would call it dementia, others may refer more to is as Alzheimer's. Regardless of how we choose to diagnose AJ's problems, he must be put in his place, and recognize he is a suit who sits in a box with a hair cut way to similar to Jimmy Johnson.

Jimmy Johnson!

From that vantage point he feels as though he can make comments about arguably the best tail back to play the game (after Walter). Was LT slower this year due to the toe etc... Of course he was, but I know all of you watched the last couple of regular season games, specifically the Denver game when LT was LT. I didn't notice a loss in speed during those games.

AJ you need to back off and keep your mouth shut. Your job is to make decisions on bringing in new talent and you should remove yourself from trying to stir the pot and even beginning to vaguely insinuate that you may be moving the player that puts fans in the stadium. LT gives us the best opportunity to put points/wins on the board and moving him is incomprehensible.... if you ask a Charger Fan in Donkey Land. Should it come down to AJ of LT I would expect Mr Spanos to make the right decision and let AJ know not let the door hit him on the way out. How dare you mock a future Hall of Famer and San Diego Legend.

That is how this Charger Fan in Donkey Land sees it.

The Axe has been Wielded

Didn't even see it coming. Shanahan fired two days after the sort of collapse that hadn't happened since 1967 when conferences went to divisional play. Doesn't seem fair...didn't Shanahan do an excellent job with what he had? He was down to his 8th tailback of the season and what do you expect when your defense is that porous? Just ask Cutler, he'll let you know what he thinks of the D. This really falls on the shoulders of the Denver Broncos General Manager...and there in lies the problem.

Mike Shanahan is also the team's General Manager therefore all deficiencies in personnel are his responsibility. Hard to believe that the wind blown Irishmen is gone but the buck does have to stop somewhere (even after a vote of confidence was given by the owner).

They haven't tasted any real success since Elway finished up---as I was astutely advised by Bronco Fans wearing Bubby Brister and John Elway jerseys this past Sunday evening---I guess on the heels of surrendering 52 points you must hang your hat on something..."Hey how many Super Bowls you got? None! We got two, '98 and '99!"

Yes you do Bronco Fan...yes you do...

It's also interesting to see the other dominoes falling....Romeo Crennel of the Browns and Eric Mangini of the Jets...both Belichick disciples. When the hell (oops) is Notre Dame gonna fire Charlie the Hutt?

Who are some of the "Hot" coaching and GM hires for 2009? None other than Patriots GM Scott Pioli and Offensive Coordinator Josh McDaniels.

We think it is quite clear that Bill Belichick is the Evil Genius behind the Patriots success...all others are merely figure heads in place to answer questions from the press so that Bill can scheme. Amazing...

Editor's Note:

Charger Fan in Donkey Land just texted the following message..."One broadcaster said last night, Shanahan could go to the Chargers next year."

Unless...Norv runs the table!

Game Report: Charger Fan in Donkey Land

As I sit here in Donkey Land on the evening of the 21st. I am pleased with the outcome of the days events, and know I will sleep well tonight.

Cheerleaders...and an Antoine Cason pick 6

We showed up as we needed to and were the first team to beat the Bucs in their house all year. Not to mention we put up more points than the Bucs have given up since 1999.

We displayed what we knew to be under the strange costume we have worn for a good portion of the year. Today we took the opportunity to shed that costume and show who we really are. Opening up the offense from the get go is the way to play and what we must do moving forward if we are going to thrive.

As mentioned in the previous passage. LT would have a good game and run hard. That is what he did with 90 yrds on 21 carries. I believe that the numbers for Jackson were to be 7 catches for 112, he ended up with 7 for 111. And Gates would be more utilized, and he did just that with 2 TDs on the day. Rivers was the man among men today with 4TD passes, to leave himself short by only one to Mr. Fouts (33). With a few TD passes next week vs. the Donkeys he will set the all time CHARGERS record for TD passes in a season.

As the celebration of the statement we made in Tampa began, it quickly transitioned to the GO BUFFALO vibe. Here in Donkey land the Donkeys started off with a kick and a 13-0 lead, and the Bills were not looking like they were ready to play. Things quickly changed as Buffalo had a solid drive, to only get a field goal out of the deal. Then the decision of decisions occurred by ol Mike Chokenahan, with little time left in the half, they chose to attempt the long field goal, which was missed (Game changing Decision.) Buffalo took that opportunity to take the ball down the field and go into the half down 13-10 knowing they would get the ball back to start the 2nd half.

As the game neared its end with Buffalo up 7 Chokler tossed a pick that looked to end it, but then the almost unthinkable occurred again. A phantom flag/WHISTLE was on the field for a D line penalty giving the Donkey's the ball back. That left dreams of Ed running through my head. Yet the Donkey's, or should we take this opportunity to call them Jackasses, failed to convert, concluding what we have been talking about for weeks now.

Bad Voodoo

THE PLAYOFFS STARTING NEXT WEEK. (However there has been a slight flex scheduling adjustment)

When: December 28th

Where: San Diego (CA)

Site: THE MURPH (aka. Q)

Time: PRIME TIME Sunday Night Football 5pm pacific.

That is how it went down here in Jackass Land for this CHARGER FAN.

GO BOLTS!

CHARGER FAN IN DONKEY LAND

Donkey Update: "One-in-a-Row" part II

As we inch closer to this weekend's festivities, I can not begin to explain the random statements and comments that are flying around these parts.

There are actually interviews being conducted with Denver Donkey players talking about Super Bowl runs etc......Where do they get this ridiculous false sense of confidence?

After what unfolded last week when our CHARGERS (yes ugly, but still a W) pulled off the unthinkable with 1:13 remaining, the Donkeys then proceeded to fall apart in their afternoon game.

The most recent Buzz today was that they are not thinking about the Chargers, but only worrying about the Bills. I will take this opportunity to call BULLSHIT, to those statements. Deep down the Donkeys know that they were given more then a gift back in week 2 when ED
handed them a division win against our Chargers....

Ed "Oops, My Bad" Hochuli

I had the privilege of being alone to single handedly let 68,000+ fans know how bad that call was (superlative, superlative, superlative) and that the Chargers truly should have been given the win.

Then you have the broadcasters on the radio who don't buy into the false confidence the Donkeys are attempting to portray. Instead, what is being stated on the radio is more along the lines of: Who is going to show up week to week with the Donkeys? No one really knows.

Here is what we do know heading into this weekend. Donkeys have no tail back, and Jay Chokler is good for a minimum of 1 pick, but I can't shake this feeling that he has even more in him. Buffalo will be here in the weather they are used to, Frigid cold (Yes that was -4 on the dash). As of today the projected low for Sunday is -2 and may reach a balmy high of 17. This is NOT something that the Bills are unfamiliar with, so I enter this weekend very confident that the Bills will take care of business as they nearly did against the Jets last week.

Jay Chokler? I thought I was "Little Hillbilly"?

As we CHARGER fans enter the last days of the week before this large Tampa Bay outing, we can only be left to again ask the million dollar question. Why did we wait so long to open up our offense?

This is more than a must win for us! It is a statement game, to show that even with our many sub par performances thus far, we are a great team by beating a 9 and 5 Tampa team. I am confident that we will roll in there with something to prove. LT will have a great day rushing, while Vincent Jackson will have 7 catches for 112 yrds, and Gates will be more often utilized.

We all came together to WILL our CHARGERS to victory last week, and all of our heroics are again needed this weekend.

Men, lets come together in this time of need and again WILL our CHARGERS to the AFC WEST division decider in SAN DIEGO December 28th.

GO BOLTS!

CHARGER FAN IN DONKEY LAND

Awaiting The Word On The Street in Donkey Land

Listening to 104.3 The Fan in Denver, CO

While the Charger Fan in Donkey Land gathers the particulars, note what the outside temperature is in Denver, CO... yes, that says -4 degrees Fahrenheit at 8pm...probably warmer in the afternoon.

We think they're starting to feel the choke....enjoy your Denver December, Donkeys!

Get us the word...

Denver Says, "We love having four seasons?"

Embedded In Donkey Territory

a scenic path for your Donkey to travel

I am behind enemy lines (Denver) and not reporting as I should be back to base.

Being in this location I am forced to listen to different sports radio stations. One in particular that I listen to is 104.3 The Fan.

I leave work the other night and flip the radio on to hear the crew on the Fan commenting on Norv. They are nominating him for quite possibly the worst coach in the history of the NFL. This because he was dealt a full house when given his position with the players he already had in place, and has seemed to find ways to lose based on play calls, etc... throughout the season.

This again was something that was stated by Donkey Country Radio Hosts. One of the guys is a real homer however and was chanting about the Donkeys going to the Super Bowl (yeah).

The other clown had the intelligence level to remind him that the Jackasses have lost to the Raiders, and the Chiefs and by no means are these last two games give always to Carolina and Buffalo before they need to come to SD for the beating they deserve....not to mention the one we already gave them in Denver (thanks Ed).

So in a nut shell we have some Donkey Radio Hosts that are not buying into the Jackass hype quite yet. Though our window is closing rapidly there is still hope and hope is all we need.

Even though we only beat the Haiders last week, which was no surprise, I saw the smiles and the confidence on the players that I have not seen in weeks, maybe not even this season.

That is the confidence we needed to push us the extra mile to win out and hope that the Donkeys show their true colors. Not only the Putrid Orange and Blue they wear, but Cutler tossing the ball to those in other jerseys.

a.k.a. little hillbilly

We must all come together in this time of need for the CHARGERS and become Carolina and Buffalo fans......the playoffs actually start:

Date: 12/28/2008

Time: 1:15pm

Location: The Murph (a.k.a. The Q)

Lets make this our first playoff game men.

KEEP THE FAITH.

Charger Fan in Donkey Land.

Two Cents from a Bolt Fan in Donkey Land

Some have seen the following diatribe from "Super Charger Fan in Denver" but it's worth posting for ALL to see. This San Diego transplant is like few fans you will EVER see! He is hardcore....He is to fanhood, what "Air Jordan" was to the NBA: ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL!
He has passion folks!

The Ancients didn't write obituaries...they only asked, did he live with PASSION? I don't know if the "Ancients" actually said that but Jeremy Piven uttered it in the film Serendipity and we think it is applicable here...especially since Piven won an Emmy last night. Passion, People! It needed to be posted now because of the timeliness that is tonight's Monday Night Battle versus th J-E-T-S. Enjoy the PASSION:

Gentlemen, Friends, and Charger fans alike:

I have chosen to wait to respond to the despicable display of zebra whistles until now. As one of the lone dedicated Charger Fans to walk the streets and be forced to live at this elevation with no ocean, only a pond or two, I felt it necessary to honor the mighty Bolts and all fans of San Diego by attending the game along with my wife, and a buddy from San Diego.

We arrived to a parking lot full of the despicable Orange and Navy; not a minute had passed after stepping out of our vehicle when a 60 year old woman screams in our direction "Chargers lick ass", interesting comment coming from a Jackass fan in Donkey Country. To my surprise I did see some Chargers jerseys, but most were quiet and did not represent, as they should have.

As we approached our seats among the Orange Cowboy hats we realized that we were in the minority and would have to yell for all of San Diego. The game began and the Donkeys marched down the field to our chagrin for the first TD of the game. The cheers rang out and we sat in silence, then began to cheer as the kickoff came our way. Then came the first HOME FIELD advantage incident. The "interception" that was not, occurred. Out came the red flag as I let all know around me for sections that the ball was complete and easy on the premature celebrations. Then what do you know. The Donkey Electrical has an issue; the plug got pulled on the review camera. Tell me gentlemen, does the NFL have that little money that they cannot have a backup? What should we say, 80" Plasma for any replay necessary? Maybe an extra tent or curtain to cover them up should that be required. Why not send it upstairs (novel concept?) And then it happened, the beginning of the most irresponsible refereeing display in NFL history, live before my eyes.

It was amazing how the fans began talking to us as we were their friends with the score 3 to 21, but when Sproles took one back for 103yrds the silence was deafening, other than our screams and high fives while the voice was still there. Then the pick in the end zone, and Sproles again taking it to the house for the 63 yrd scamper and we went up 38-31. An eerie silence came over the stadium yet again. Little did we know at this point that we were about to witness with our own eyes the worst blown call in the history of the NFL.

Our section of 3 erupted as the fumble happened and we CLEANLY recovered the ball with 1:14 left on the clock. Game over high fives around and the silence again through out the repulsive Orange and Blue. Then the darkness came over us as the explanation of the absolute inexcusable blown dead call in the history of not only the NFL, but also all football on every level. Yes including the Super bowl halftime lingerie bowl. Everyone cheered as I yelled this game will be forever marked with an "*" as the ball went back to Denver. Then for them to be 4th and goal and convert, to only come back for a 2 point conversion, made me not only disgusted by our defensive performance, but them converting that was a total lack of respect for our defense.

This week in front of a National audience we must step up on the defensive side and destroy the Jets as we get the skunk off the boat and land our first Victory of the year. I am calling right now minimum of 2 picks tonight. One, by Cromartie and another from Hart. This is a must win as the rest of the games of this season will be, as we are unable to count on any other team to make a 50% of there field goal attempts, and present the Donkey's will their first loss. Though it has been a difficult couple of weeks. This is our coming out party tonight on National Television.

We must stand strong together in VICTORY GO BOLTS!