Belated Thoughts on Week 13

Adrian Peterson is the antithesis of a "Gaping V"...

...perhaps we shouldn't try and conjure the opposite nickname, as that which first "springs" to mind is a bit offensive, even for this locale. We'll just say, "He's a MAN...one who earns his paycheck each week, and it's good to see!"... this after having watched his Sunday night performance against the Bears.

Our "Gaping V" award will stay with Detroit Lions Safety, Daniel Bullocks, although we will award an Honorable Mention to Norv Turner...

Clarence Shelman... (Who? Exactly!)

and the Chargers Offense...

for their miserable performance against the visiting Falcons....

Additionally....

The Worst Play of the Week:

Jared Allen of the Vikings going from a more conventional mullet (and acceptable mullet if there is such a thing):

...to the god awful,

"I shaved my head but left a tuft in the back
because this is how we do it at Idaho"
Mullet

The more abbreviated label would be a Shavedskullet...we here at the Blog could not obtain an image of Allen sporting the new abomination so this reasonable facsimile from a reputable internet site will have to do...(yes, we combed the internet for this horrific picture...)

For more "affronts to humanity": Click Here.

Jared Allen beats out Plaxico Buress (amazingly) and gets our Worst Play of the Week.

Finally...

The "We Almost Got To Add Another Patriot To Our Blog Poll about Season Ending Injuries" goes to the big hit by Steeler Ryan Clark on Wes Welker last Sunday...



That hit was the perfect cap to a holiday weekend of giving thanks. Thank you Ryan Clark!

Thanksgiving Origin Myth

DEADSPIN's Interpretation of Ocho Cinco the Injun KillerYou will click this link. Gravy will pour out of your eyes and you will shit the bed in laughter. Hold on tight for an interpretation by Chad Eight Five about the origins of Thanksgiving as told to coach Marvin Lewis.

It all seems very plausible and for a moment you suspend reality and cease to believe that a box of rocks could out smart Chad Eight Five. Thank you Deadspin.

The Fed is Taking Requests

We're inept (i.e. we qualify for government intervention)

Dunkin Donuts Coffee.......wearing off...........must come up with better material...submit ideas for photo caption...(saw during game, stole photo from Deadspin)

Why We Get The Lions Each Thanksgiving

Upon reflection there's only one possible reason that every 4th Thursday of November we are forced to stomach the Lions along with four different styles of yams...and it's not tradition.

Gentlemen...we are facing a highly organized, Holiday Season Conspiracy. This HSC has been orchestrated by the women in our lives...

Mothers, Wives, and special lady friends comprise one of the most powerful lobbies in the United States of America....and they infiltrated the NFL Commissioner's Office long ago...

Think about it...it makes perfect sense! We know that each year we will spend our Thanksgivings watching football and EATING an obscene quantity of food. But what happens each Thanksgiving morning? There, to little surprise, is a project waiting for you. These projects include quick trips to the grocery store to pick up forgotten items or ventures into the garage to drag out the Christmas bins...Christmas does start tomorrow, just ask the woman in your life! These women tell you what needs to be done, prefaced by, "I don't care when you do it as long as it gets done!"

You check the TV guide...Lions play the early game (always)...and the decision is made...

....off to work because you know you won't miss a thing (except a holiday drubbing). During the Lions game it is also an excellent time to travel, if need be, to the homes of your friends or relatives for their presentations of Thanksgiving Dinner.

Why just today I was tasked with babysitting and grocery store duty where I missed the 1st quarter of the game and it was 21-3 Titans when I returned...and I didn't feel one bit bad about missing it. The 4th quarter will be used for drive time to the Parents' house. It is a vast HSC!

This powerful cabal of women, somehow infiltrated the NFL Commissioner's office and convinced him to always run a meaningless game in the morning (see Lions) and in return, we surmise, the women agreed to leave the TV on so the ratings would stay high and we would be subjected to the all-important revenue making commercials necessary as we pass by mid-chore...

Beer...

Roger Goodell has been anything but benevolent during his reign but we suspect that he knows better than to fuck with these power brokers...thus the status quo remains despite the annual No-Contest that is the Detroit Lions Thanksgiving Performance.

It all seems very reasonable...why else would we get the Detroit Lions each year?

I have that outfit for when I cook

We don't need anymore turkey (It's 44-10...time to start driving.)

Dallas v Seattle looks to be a stinker also...Thank goodness Ma and Pa have the NFL Network...Cardinals v Eagles should be good.

Happy Thanksgiving.

The Good Ol' Thanksgiving Days