The Divisional Round Terrible Voodoo Doll: D.P.O.Y Edition

The intangibles of course (See Voodoo when discussing intangibles). We here at the San Diego Sports Fan Collective have tried to replicate our routine over the last four weeks as best as possible, which of course leads us to our fourth installment of Voodoo. This week we have The Terrible Voodoo Doll in the Shadow of the Charger Power Towel: Defensive Player of The Year, James Harrison Edition.

Yes We Have a Towel Too...You Were First...Who Cares

We don't think Harrison can be stopped by human force alone so we have conjured his destruction in the form of a Voodoo Doll. This is no ordinary Voodoo Doll. A trip to the Salvation Army brought us to a doll, direct from Kenya...a nation with Voodoo practicing elements. Fate? We think so. Look at the native beads draped over Harrison's shoulder...we stuck him up good...it may be our only hope.

Fuckin' lip stick? Shit, man....Hey....I'm a SC Trojan...that shit ain't right!

Keep something in mind. The Voodoo Doll tradition began back on December 21st with a Voodoo Snowman when the Chargers were facing the most dire of circumstances. The Chargers could have won their difficult East Coast road game and still been eliminated by virtue of a Bronco home victory versus a fledgling Bills squad.... but they persevered...they survived... and they advanced. Then came Voodoo on Jay Cutler followed by The Manning de Milo.... which has led us ultimately to fate... January 11th at Heinz field. Why do I mention this? Our Voodoo began in Tampa Bay on 12/21 and our Voodoo seems to be preordained to end in Tampa Bay, site of Superbowl XLIII.

Is this fate? We think so.... a fate we will explain after our 20-17 victory this afternoon.

Good Morning & Good Luck

Chief

The Upcoming Week In Voodoo...

Which direction will the Pittsburgh Steelers take us this week? Better know yo history...

Denver Donkey Voodoo Snowman
Week 16: Needing a Charger win in Tampa and a Bronco loss at Mile High against the Bills
Voodoo Snowman / Ghost of Jake Plummer delivers a smashed face to Jeff Garcia via Quentin Jammer, then helps Broncos choke, in thin mountain air. Later melts into CA. sunset...

Denver Donkey Voodoo Doll: Jay Chokler/Lil' Hillbilly Edition
Week 17: With AFC West Championship on the line versus the Broncos, The Little Hillbilly is rattled early and often...two picks w/ one coming in the end zone. Work of art, however extremely dangerous with pins poking every which way. No Children Harmed.

Manning de Milo Voodoo Doll
Week 18: Wild card round of the playoffs, 2008 MVP picks up healthy chunk of yardage but has little to show for it in the way of points. Takes only sack of game at most crucial time, resulting in another 1st round Colt exit. De Milo knock off retired to Canton, OH.

Pittsburgh Steeler Edition
Week 19:.......oh what we have planned...

Remember our credo during this 2008/2009 playoff installation...

DO NOT FUCK WITH WINNING COMBINATIONS, PEOPLE

Charger Wins and Bronco Losses: Voodoo, Karma and Rose Pedals

The Denver Donkey Voodoo Snowman came through with flying colors and it was a glorious thing to behold...

To think that all it took to string together an improbable combination of Charger Victories and Bronco Choke-jobs was a little backwoods Haitian Voodoo...

a fairly straightforward premise proposed back on December 8th that used semantics to trick us into believing...

The Bolts don't really need to win three in a row while having Denver lose three in a row...it's much more simple than that.........(Shhhh...we have to win one in a row...three times...the correct spin is necessary to swallow this unlikely scenario)

All we have to do is defeat KC at Arrowhead next week and have the Donks lose back east in Carolina...that's it...

....so that we can have a chance the following week back east in Buccaneer Country whereby the Bills will then sojourn in Mile High to knock the fake and bake off of Mike Shanahan's face.....

, and finally the other worldly wisdom of the 14th Incarnation of the Dalai Lama and Jessica Alba, the spiritual advisers to HateThePatriots.blogspot.com.....

This amalgam of belief systems has brought us to this space in time...a time when karmic balance can return as two teams meet, with everything on the line, to right the wrongs of the past. The next ritual will be that of exorcism as the Roman Catholic Church is called in to rid us of the wayward spirit of Ed Hochuli.

No stone left unturned was the mantra for getting us into the playoffs so we here are personally exhausted but look forward to seeing the one final ingredient in action that will bring us to the precipice of football immortality......momentum!

Stage Two of "One-in-a Row" is complete leaving us only with Stage Three, a stage which is controlled solely by the Chargers......at home......momentum friends.......fucking momentum!