The Renunciation Of My 2009 NCAA Champion Pick: Go 'Nova!

I am no expert on college basketball but this is what I do know:

• I needed Memphis to beat Missouri tonight.... but I was sure they were in for a long night when I saw the Mo. starting line-up: Three guard set- no player shorter than 6'5". That's all I needed to be certain that one of my Final Four picks was FUCT!
• Duke is an absolute SHAM! Every year they rely so much on the three that the shooter's touch eventually wears off. They have no inside game at all and they play like castrated bulls because of it.....I bet Blue Devil fans wish it were 1992 and they had big man Cherokee Parks. What a Joke! Taking Villanova was the safest pick of my bracket.....and now they get a Pitt team they handled by 10pts during the regular season.

• I also know that this guy.... .....,guard Greg Paulus should payback his scholarship for embarrassing Duke University so badly....dribbling off his knee, firing passes out of bounds, desperation fouls due to a lack of athleticism..... He is in fact the worse player in the United States.

.....and there is one more thing I know: This is how I say, "Go 'Nova!"

Go 'Nova!

Damn my Louisville selection over the Wildcats!

I pick 'Nova each and every year for a couple wins (dating back to the ill-fated busted bracket of 1995: Final Four pick of a Kerry Kittles led Villanova team...ouch! Curse Old Dominion!) and now I'm claiming 'Nova Nation as safe haven......they have now become the only team outside of San Diego that I support and I don't feel bad about saying it based on the loose kinship of Augustinian Friars and The San Diego Friars.......having rationalized my new found allegiance, I officially renounce my 2009 March Madness Bracket. If victorious I shall donate all proceeds to the Roman Catholic Church or a Villanova approved charity...

Veritas, Unitas, Caritas

Bleacher Bums, Karma, Reincarnation

The first incarnation of XX1090's Bleacher Bums (Earl & Jordan/Jordan & Earl), has passed on to another dimension.....one in which other cancelled programs like The Magic Hour and The Chevy Chase Show pollute the lives of an unsuspecting and alternate version of us....

Bleacher Bum Line-up numero dos = Ted Mendenhall, DI Earl and "The Hammer" Hal Brown....
Let us hope it is not a deuce...

We turned on the radio at 2:43 pm to hear Darren Smith say that "The Hammer" (program director) was holding a press conference at 3 pm. Good news came in the form of the charlatan carpetbagger Jordan being removed from XX1090. First question came from the UT's Jay Posner.....Hammer wasn't going to yield regarding his inclination to put untrained fans on air.... blah, blah, blah.....and so here we are.....

The show today was ten times better than it ever was in the previous 2 1/2 months. We got the impression that "The Hammer" is part of the line-up to lend his support for the concept. Within a few weeks however, it'll be Ted Mendenhall (a San Diego native) and DI Earl (the skeptical point of view) running the show. It was nice to be able to listen to the radio in peace and "choose" to alternate with XTRA 1360 rather than be "driven" to it out of rage.

We're willing to give Earl the benefit of the doubt for two reasons:

1. He's not a complete dickhead like Jordan.
2. His only option was failure when paired with a partner like Jordan....and that's "The Hammer's" fault.

Imagine you or We showing up in Philadelphia in 2005 and then being thrown on the radio as the voice of the fans. You or We proceed to tell Philly Fan that Donovan McNabb and Brian Dawkins have done absolutely nothing for the city. Forget the NFC Championship game appearances for who knows how many years in a row (see...we don't even know for sure because we haven't been in Philly long enough) and forget the Super Bowl appearance....it was a LOSS!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!! Donovan McNabb can't hold Tom Brady's Jock!!!!! Just keepin' it real Philadelphia!

How would that go over?

So now You or We move on to baseball where we proceed to tell Philly Fan that there is NOBODY who loves the Phillies more than We! We love 'em so much we shit maroon and that oddly tinted blue from their 1980's Uniforms each and every day!

Who cares that We can't name half of the roster from the 1980 World Series winner, which happened to be the only championship in the previous 126 years of the franchise.....of course until We got on the air and celebrated the 2008 win over that team from Tampa Bay.....

Would that ever happen? Would a San Diego fan showing up in Philadelphia ever get on the radio when he says things like, "bummer bra!", or "...can I get some Avocado on that?" .....Hell and No!!!!

(We never say 'bra'....we do love Avocado though)

Would a San Diegan get on the air after only 5 years of living there and not knowing any of the franchises' histories? Enough questions because all sentient beings know that it would NEVER happen!!!!

In summation: Today's drive time radio was improved. Chicago on a Bun's pizza is good so we'll accept the line-up change and quell boycott...for now. "The Hammer" F#$%ed up with Jordan....seeks redemption with Ted Mendenhall. Finally, we'd scrap the California Love Intro music and go with something a little more So-Cal...

One Half of Circus Fired?

Has one half of the circus been dismissed? According to a Gaslamp Ball secret source, Jordan/Jordan Downtown/JDT/Sideshow Bob/Raging Douche has been dismissed by XX1090.

Please God..........do not forsake us.......bestow upon us, your heavenly grace, in our time of need...

Bleacher Bum Jordan Fired!!!
[Gaslamp Ball]

Sports Illustrated Polls The Holy Trinity

Sports Illustrated (SI.com) has a section called Extra Mustard which deals with all sorts of goofy pop culture crap ranging from new video games to hot cheerleaders of the week. What ever.....if mixing that sort of nonsense with sports is SI's thing......then, honestly, we're all for it.

This week's Extra Mustard is running a poll: Who Is The World's Hottest Jessica?

Obviously the Holy Trinity of Jessicas are in play but to this Blog's dismay Ms. Alba is running two points behind Ms. Biel. It feels like Presidential primaries all over again! The candidates are charging into New Hampshire trying to set the tone for the election season and its up to YOU to restore the proper pecking order for the Holy Trinity of Jessicas....

In the Name of the Alba


The Biel


and the Pop Singer Simpson


......get thy self to the polls and push this site's Avatar over the top!
Sports Illustrated says it is socially acceptable to partake.

Currently Polling at 35%
VOTE FOR JESSICA ALBA HERE

A Commentary on Peter King's Ramblings: see Irony

Peter King of Sports Illustrated will, from time to time, present his reader with valuable inside information. The remainder of his articles are filled with superfluous anecdotes of saved voice mails from Brett Favre and idiotic wagers that hinge on the payment of lattes from Starbucks. The weekly leg humping he gives Favre is inappropriate and all too messy.

But the bottom of King's barrel gets scraped when he begins waxing poetic about pop culture. Clint Eastwood's performance in Gran Turino or the idiocy that is King's evaluation of the Academy Awards has no bearing on why I would visit SI.com. Seriously....are you auditioning for the cultural abyss left by the departure of Ebert & Roper (God rest Siskel's soul)? Your stream of consciousness ramblings are beyond useless and frankly, quite retarded.

Having said that.....I absolutely love Wednesday nights and the Mind-Fuck that is Lost. The messianic figure of Locke/Bentham murdered at the hands of Benjamin Linus.......his resurrection...and ultimately his redemption? I LOVE IT!!!!

Peter King however, should stop enthralling us with his airport lobby stories about Steeler Fan showing fat hairy belly whilst easing right hand in to pants. It's a waste of space and disgusting.

Have some pride my good man. You write for SI...

Super Bowl XLIII Has Arrived:Predictions and Minutiae

Today's game got us thinking about some of the teams that didn't make it to the big dance. Obviously, the Chargers failed to make it and when we San Diegans reflect, we think of what may have been had Shawne Merriman's knees held up. Would he have been the cure to our defensive ills? Other team's fans ask these same questions, none more so than Cowboy Fan...

Yes. Cowboy fans ask themselves: "What would have happened had Tony never shacked up with Jessica?". Surely young Romo would have been more focused and the 'Boys would have not only been in this year's Super Bowl but they would have been the team to knock off the Patriots last season, says Cowboy fan. I'm not from Texas and I'm not a fan of the Cowboys. To those fans who would suggest that Jessica Simpson is the foil to Tony Romo's attainment of a championship I say the following.......It's a two way street.....

These two have completely sabotaged each other and we're a lot more upset about the turn Ms. Simpson has taken.....it's a sad day when you begin opting for images of the lip syncing, nose jobbed little sister Simpson. ROMO! We hold you responsible for this! You have destroyed the Holy Trinity of Jessicas!

In the Name of the Alba

The Biel


and the Pop Singer Simpson

This is on you Romo! We hope you never win a Superbowl!

Which brings us to today's game...

Steelers 27 Cardinals 17.

The Steelers have a 3 point lead late but the 'Zonies are driving for a go ahead score.....Anquan Boldin goes across the middle makes a leaping and courageous catch only to be destroyed by Ryan Clark, Killer of Men. Who's there to scoop up the live ball? Mr. Do-Everything, and USC's own......Troy Polamalu.

The best player in the NFL

Troy Polamalu is your Super Bowl XLIII MVP.....and Vegas agrees with the assessment. TP helped cover that 7point spread with his late score.

Enjoy your guacamole...

Nirvana Awaits Sayeth The Sages: Divisional Round

The Sages say...

It's that time of week again...Sage Advice! Because we're superstitious? No! Because we're Buddhist? No! Because it's a cheap way to infuse Jessica Alba pictures into a post about playoff football? No! Look..it is what is. Better not to ask questions but to know and accept that this nonsense is working...which means, of course, that it makes sense! Without further adieu...

Young fanatics...it is the elimination of suffering that you seek on your way to a perfect state: Nirvana. A victory will bring you peace and happiness thus one step closer to your ultimate goal of Nirvana/A Superbowl Victory. In this state you will be free of petty fixations and you will have compassion for all.

Look at our blog URL...are we capable of having compassion for all?

Trust us. Upon attainment of your goal the anguish in your lives will be extinguished...at that time you will receive an otherworldly glow that only others who have also received enlightenment will notice. When you have reached enlightenment you will find it easy to let go of the negative...

Is there anything else we can do to transcend this difficult task that awaits us at 1:45 pm on Sunday January 11th?

Remember your winning combinations....and stop the Defensive Player of The Year! He is an obstacle to Nirvana...

Thank you Sages.

Hmmm....Stop the Defensive Player of The Year....

Troy Baldamalu

Enough of the Messianic figure roaming the secondary, disrupting and raining down hellfire on mere mortals.

We have taken his beard. We have taken his hair. All that remains is a shell of a smiley Samoan. Man's chances have improved...

Providence visits not in the form of long haired bearded prophets but from the heavens itself...bolts of lightening!




Chargers 20 Steelers 17...



~Blue Ballzed...again

Our New Year's Resolution and Thanks

Happy New Year! 2009 is the Year of the Ox...

This is the time where we give Thanks and reaffirm our commitment to the origins of this blog.

We began this blog as Charger Fans who hated the New England Patriots and wanted a vehicle to promote our October 12th, 2008 showdown.

The hate is what got us going but what has evolved is our never wavering commitment to being a Collective of San Diego Sports Fans. Having said that, it would be folly to abandon our roots, hence the advent of...Dear Patriot Tears,

Fah awbvious reasons my face is absent...this tattoo was nawt smahht...and I'm crying...like a fackin' girl

Our New Year's Resolution is to post one New England Patriot Fan complaint about their team's 11-5 playoff omission.....PER DAY.....and to then offer a brief reply (already got two in). It will be arduous work but we are prepared for the challenge...believe it or not, we should be able to get one a day (there are a lot of entitled victim/complainers back there) ...WATCH US! (and feel free to comment YOU passive fuckers)!!

The 11-5 snub combined with our 8-8 QB sneak might just be better than having met and beaten the Pats in the AFCCG in 2009...we're pretty ecstatic about it and New Englander's lunacy shows through in the comments they post at the Boston Globe. With the future in mind, please forward any and all angles you think we should take...we love tips and springboards....Enjoy!

THE THANKS:

Blue Ballzed...again.....For the initial idea and numerous graphics contributions.
4th and long, Charger Fan in Donkey Land, and The Ghost of Sid Going....thanks for the interesting takes and unique insights on these games we follow all TOO closely.

Asterisk+Spycam+ San Diego Chargers=AWESOME LOGO

TIPS...Sword Wielding Avenger of Anga-leez, Brother Avenger, Stew-Raider pic, Wifey-Pouting Cutler Pic., Stop calling me Shirley Avenger-Voodoo inspiration, et. al.

Fellow Forum Bomber....Mark E of Papagayo....good passion.

The Original Avengers.....for sharing a common disdain....The Patriots, not Dunkin Donuts Coffee.

Massholes make goooooood coffee(post "Boston Massacre" of 9/16/2007)

10/12/08 Tailgate Avengers....good times.

Chef.....For gutting and roasting Bill...good eats.

Kill Bill Volume III

Legal Counsel......Yer our Boy Blue/Eye Patch!

Zino....for writing funny top 10s and getting us mentioned on the radio.

Scott & BR....for giving me ideas during the morning drive.

The Dalai Lama and Jessica Alba...we have no idea how this dynamic duo was formed so if you find it ludicrous, then sorry.....it is in play!

Jay Cutler....for being our whipping boy.

Zoolander....for being Awesome! And for providing a nick name for Tom Brady.

Massholes in Foxborough, Ma....for perpetuating stereotypes and moving us to organize against you.

Boston Accent...Yah an easy fackin' mahhk, but it's awfully fun. Chee-uhs fah bein' good fackin' spahhts!

International Readership....to our solo readers in Singapore, China, Russia, Poland, Germany, France, Brazil and the UK (wait...we had three readers in Ol' Blighty!(No love for Patriots there). It's nice to be able to say, no matter what happens, "We're huge in Singapore!"

Commenters.....Thanks for reading and help us spread the Gospel

TLewis/Boston.....To what started as an email rant on 1/15/07....thanks for being a good sport ... which is probably pretty easy--after all you are the one with all the Championships!

Here's to a monumental Charger playoff run....

"One-In-A-Rows" Complete: Don't mess with the Holy Trinity

Do not underestimate The Holy Trinity: Little Hillbilly Voodoo Doll, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, and Jessica Alba.

It is nearly impossible to accomplish things with out faith and so we put our faith in other worldly Idols and Sages to bring us back from the abyss. Make no mistake about it, we are back, as our 52 point exclamation mark can attest.

"The Big Hitter" Lama and his cohort Jessica Alba prophesied a monumental showdown between the Chargers and Broncos on December 28th...

....and they delivered on their prophecy, karma being restored to the football universe. In addition to the work of our Spiritual gurus there was a Voodoo doll created to avenge the Phillip Rivers Pro Bowl snubbing/completely fuck up Jay Cutler's shit...and it worked. With every air-mailed pass and end zone interception we could feel the thrust of those needles into his appendages...as well as his head. That's a Pro Bowl Quarterback?

Hey you S.O.B...I gotta piss... take that needle out of my voodoo crotch.

Thank you... to a near and dear source who sent this picture to our phone at Jack Murphy Field when the score reached 38-13....image says it all doesn't it? The guy threw 2 picks, one in the end zone and Philip Rivers not a one. Who's the Pro Bowler? Not Jay Chokler!

What a good time calling EVERY DONKEY who was wearing a #6 jersey, Bubby Brister! Half of them didn't even get it and no wonder really.

We took some good pictures of Charger Fans with Banners and others of Bronco Fans getting their props (giant Bronco Stuffed Animal) stolen from them from Charger fans...quite funny....young lady very pissed, many a colorful epithet.

Why do people show up to Charger/Bronco games wearing....Dan Marino, Tom Brady, Ben Roethlisberger, Matt Cassel and every other dickhead's jersey not involved in the game? Why pay all that money for a ticket if not a fan of those two teams? Wearing a random jersey to show that you actually know football...actually shows that you know JACK SQUAT!

THEPATRIOTSLOSTTHEPATRIOTSLOSTTHEPATRIOTSLOSTTHEPATRIOTSLOST
THEPATRIOTSLOSTTHEPATRIOTSLOSTTHEPATRIOTSLOSTTHEPATRIOTSLOST

Charger Wins and Bronco Losses: Voodoo, Karma and Rose Pedals

The Denver Donkey Voodoo Snowman came through with flying colors and it was a glorious thing to behold...

To think that all it took to string together an improbable combination of Charger Victories and Bronco Choke-jobs was a little backwoods Haitian Voodoo...

a fairly straightforward premise proposed back on December 8th that used semantics to trick us into believing...

The Bolts don't really need to win three in a row while having Denver lose three in a row...it's much more simple than that.........(Shhhh...we have to win one in a row...three times...the correct spin is necessary to swallow this unlikely scenario)

All we have to do is defeat KC at Arrowhead next week and have the Donks lose back east in Carolina...that's it...

....so that we can have a chance the following week back east in Buccaneer Country whereby the Bills will then sojourn in Mile High to knock the fake and bake off of Mike Shanahan's face.....

, and finally the other worldly wisdom of the 14th Incarnation of the Dalai Lama and Jessica Alba, the spiritual advisers to HateThePatriots.blogspot.com.....

This amalgam of belief systems has brought us to this space in time...a time when karmic balance can return as two teams meet, with everything on the line, to right the wrongs of the past. The next ritual will be that of exorcism as the Roman Catholic Church is called in to rid us of the wayward spirit of Ed Hochuli.

No stone left unturned was the mantra for getting us into the playoffs so we here are personally exhausted but look forward to seeing the one final ingredient in action that will bring us to the precipice of football immortality......momentum!

Stage Two of "One-in-a Row" is complete leaving us only with Stage Three, a stage which is controlled solely by the Chargers......at home......momentum friends.......fucking momentum!