You'll shoot your leg off, Plax!!!

awwwww....Fuuuuuuuudge!

An icicle fell off the team bus and speared me in the leg!!

No it is not a gun shot wound, it is an icicle wound...and my name is Harris Smith.

The sad thing is that I’m not even surprised anymore when the latest news breaks regarding another “Professional” football player having had a scrape with the law. Plaxico now joins a long list of not-so-distinguished players who have disgraced themselves and their sport. He, Michael Vick, Pacman, Chris Henry and the like “sacrifice the gift” when they act like they're central characters in the mid '90s East Coast/West Coast rap feuds (Tupac's like eight bullets up on you, Plax). These antics cast aside the blessing which so many of us wish we had received and we resent you for it.

You Bitches don't know what bein' hard is...except Pacman...he always in da strip club...

Sure this Avenger suffers from excessive testosterone production, and has been known to engage in a bit of the ol’ “how’s yer father?”, occasionally resulting in expulsion from some of the West’s finer establishments...

But certainly not when the opportunity of a lifetime (the only viable livelihood for many of these players) and millions of dollars are on the line! Besides, there’s quite a big difference between a rugby-pitch donnybrook, and shooting the bouncer, (or yo’ dumb-ass self), at a nightclub.

What I’d like for Christmas is for the NFL to step in and enforce some real discipline on these players. There’s no way an average citizen is going to bring an unregistered weapon into an NYC club and get away with a slap on the wrist....and hopefully Plax won’t, but if he does, the NFL should have the balls to lay down the law and show players that playing in the league is a priviledge, not a right.

Bitch I got fired for bein' detrimental and shit...then the Bungles hired me back. You don't know shit.

There are plenty of high-caliber athletes out there ready to step up and take the place of these miscreants, the NFL should give them a chance and not tarnish its image by employing people of low character...

My agent got it all worked out...I'll be runnin' routes for the G-Men before long

THE GHOST OF SID GOING
(aka-Walter G. Bumpus)

Oh Plaxico, We'll Always Have Superbowl XLII

"WHAT?!!!!!!......OHHH, YEA!!!!!!!
Yea, I'll bring my gat to the Latin Quarter nightclub in Manhattan.
I'll have loads of cash and be wearin' my chains, but I'm leavin' my grill at home with Mrs. Burress!
Let's Get CRUNK...I got nuthin to lose!"


In this 24 hour news cycle world we're a few steps behind per usual....

What you know: Plaxico Burress put a hole in the same leg that has a game-missing-worthy hamstring injury and everything good has already been said about it or written. Any worries about his mental wellness and football future....taken. Any funny angle about his stupidity.....taken.

The one and only thing we'll say regarding the issue is that when we saw that the GSW was self-inflicted, we laughed...

Oh yea, and then you'll say,

"That's Horrible!"

And then we'll reply,

"But why?"

And you'll be all,

"He's a troubled human being!"

And we'll be like,

"Yea. He got 45 million troubles during the off season but gun safety lessons shouldn't be one."

"You're an ASSHOLE!"

"So!'

"Where's your compassion?"

"We save it for people who actually need to carry guns for a living...and Detroit Lion fans."

"Dick!"

"Shooting yourself is funny. Sue us! Thanks for beating the Pats, Plax! See you in 3 to 5!"

Plaxico says, "Patriots are only gonna score 17 points"