"One-In-A-Rows" Complete: Don't mess with the Holy Trinity

Do not underestimate The Holy Trinity: Little Hillbilly Voodoo Doll, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, and Jessica Alba.

It is nearly impossible to accomplish things with out faith and so we put our faith in other worldly Idols and Sages to bring us back from the abyss. Make no mistake about it, we are back, as our 52 point exclamation mark can attest.

"The Big Hitter" Lama and his cohort Jessica Alba prophesied a monumental showdown between the Chargers and Broncos on December 28th...

....and they delivered on their prophecy, karma being restored to the football universe. In addition to the work of our Spiritual gurus there was a Voodoo doll created to avenge the Phillip Rivers Pro Bowl snubbing/completely fuck up Jay Cutler's shit...and it worked. With every air-mailed pass and end zone interception we could feel the thrust of those needles into his appendages...as well as his head. That's a Pro Bowl Quarterback?

Hey you S.O.B...I gotta piss... take that needle out of my voodoo crotch.

Thank you... to a near and dear source who sent this picture to our phone at Jack Murphy Field when the score reached 38-13....image says it all doesn't it? The guy threw 2 picks, one in the end zone and Philip Rivers not a one. Who's the Pro Bowler? Not Jay Chokler!

What a good time calling EVERY DONKEY who was wearing a #6 jersey, Bubby Brister! Half of them didn't even get it and no wonder really.

We took some good pictures of Charger Fans with Banners and others of Bronco Fans getting their props (giant Bronco Stuffed Animal) stolen from them from Charger fans...quite funny....young lady very pissed, many a colorful epithet.

Why do people show up to Charger/Bronco games wearing....Dan Marino, Tom Brady, Ben Roethlisberger, Matt Cassel and every other dickhead's jersey not involved in the game? Why pay all that money for a ticket if not a fan of those two teams? Wearing a random jersey to show that you actually know football...actually shows that you know JACK SQUAT!

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"One-in-a-Row" Part III of a Three Part Series:The Slaying of Little Hillbilly

The improbable is here. Back on December 8th we asked for three consecutive Charger Wins coupled with three consecutive Bronco Losses....and here we are on the Verge of yet another AFC West Title. We control our own Destiny. Without further adieu let's go to some Sage Advice...

The HTP Sages suggest the following points to remember for those who are pessimistic about the Chargers' chances...

1. Karma. To restore balance in the universe, the wrongs of Hochuli must be avenged thus setting us on the right path.
2. The Little Hillbilly/Jay Chokler Voodoo Doll is in play. To achieve karma, in the Tibetan Buddhist sense, using other means (Voodoo) is completely acceptable...(probably not....editors discretion to "play" with various world views). Cutler will have furious arm and leg issues today...in addition to a furious headache leading to myriad poor decision making.
   

3. Shanahan's Lucky Charms vanished after their second Super Bowl run in '99...

No more Malarkey or Shenanigans from Shanahan

A last piece of Sage Advice from the Lama and Alba: Dress warm. The Prime Time Lights may be on but it's supposed to be 43 degrees. Enjoy...

-HTP Spiritual Advisers

Wish List for December 28th, 2008....

New England Patriot Win
Miami Dolphin Win
New York Jet Loss
Baltimore Raven Win
San Diego Charger Win
Denver Bronco Loss

What do the following scenarios mean to us? For one it means that the Chargers are the AFC West Champs and get a home playoff game against the Indianapolis Colts....

It also means that the Broncos will have achieved the biggest collapse (3 game lead with 3 to play) since conferences moved to a division format....haaaaaa....haaaaa....haaaaa.....

It will be nice to lessen the Brett Favre Drama...Just go back to Mississippi!

But also of extreme gratification will be the New England Patriots finishing with an outstanding 11-5 record....only to miss the playoffs....maybe our regular season meeting wasn't just a "meaningless regular season game"......ENJOY!

Charger Wins and Bronco Losses: Voodoo, Karma and Rose Pedals

The Denver Donkey Voodoo Snowman came through with flying colors and it was a glorious thing to behold...

To think that all it took to string together an improbable combination of Charger Victories and Bronco Choke-jobs was a little backwoods Haitian Voodoo...

a fairly straightforward premise proposed back on December 8th that used semantics to trick us into believing...

The Bolts don't really need to win three in a row while having Denver lose three in a row...it's much more simple than that.........(Shhhh...we have to win one in a row...three times...the correct spin is necessary to swallow this unlikely scenario)

All we have to do is defeat KC at Arrowhead next week and have the Donks lose back east in Carolina...that's it...

....so that we can have a chance the following week back east in Buccaneer Country whereby the Bills will then sojourn in Mile High to knock the fake and bake off of Mike Shanahan's face.....

, and finally the other worldly wisdom of the 14th Incarnation of the Dalai Lama and Jessica Alba, the spiritual advisers to HateThePatriots.blogspot.com.....

This amalgam of belief systems has brought us to this space in time...a time when karmic balance can return as two teams meet, with everything on the line, to right the wrongs of the past. The next ritual will be that of exorcism as the Roman Catholic Church is called in to rid us of the wayward spirit of Ed Hochuli.

No stone left unturned was the mantra for getting us into the playoffs so we here are personally exhausted but look forward to seeing the one final ingredient in action that will bring us to the precipice of football immortality......momentum!

Stage Two of "One-in-a Row" is complete leaving us only with Stage Three, a stage which is controlled solely by the Chargers......at home......momentum friends.......fucking momentum!

Seek Counsel From Sages

His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso, believes it to be our Karma to meet the Broncos on December 28th with the AFC West title at stake.

Meet with Nobel Laureates...Free Tibet...Return from Exile...Get Chargers a Win

Such an act would restore balance to this time and place...a balance that was disturbed by a man named, Ed Hochuli.

Ms. Alba agrees with, and endorses, the counsel of His Holiness.

Really...she's a huge fan

When in doubt, seek sagely advice to right your path. Fortunately our "Collective" can rely on the profound wisdom from both of these kind souls. Viva la "One-in-a-Row" numero dos!