Secondary Issues Are Plentiful

I had a friend in college. A good friend to this day. An upstanding citizen (British) this friend of mine. However, he was known to piss himself when he became inebriated. Once, he even opened up his special lady friend's underwear drawer whilst she was on holiday...and pissed in it. An upstanding citizen this friend. Oh, yes.....he also has a proclivity for shitting the bed whilst drunk.

Pictured at right is third year corner Cletis Gordon out of Jackson State, Alma mater to Walter Payton. I don't know how Cletis behaves when drinking but I do know this......on Sunday January 11th, 2009, Cletis Gordon "SHIT THE BED". Every time something bad happened, Cletis Gordon was at the center of the mess. Pass completion after pass completion...there's #24. Big pick-up coupled with a 15 yard un-sportsman like conduct penalty...again #24.

It wasn't the literal Bed Shitting I had heard about from my buddy's college days but the figurative type...the type we have become all too accustomed to this season by our Defensive Backs.

C'mon did you see what I did to Jeff Garcia's face?

After Quentin Jammer brought the wood against Hines Ward on this little incompletion I don't think I saw #23 again.....all I saw was the "bed shitter". Jammer leaves with injury and in enters a disgusting mess. Now, I think that the Steelers were the better team so don't mistake this as an effort to assign the loss to #24-Shitter of Beds---but he sure didn't help our cause. How does a guy get an opportunity like that in a playoff game and then proceed to follow up his constant burns with a 15 yard penalty? I bring this up because the time has come to assess who we are and begin to make the necessary changes. If a guy has limited skills and a .10 cent head, roster spots need to start opening up.

"It'll be warmer this way, trust me!"..... Our DBs in a Nutshell.

Nice train! In addition to looking like our DBs are sodomizing Big Ben they are failing horribly at what EVERY FOOTBALL PLAYER IN THE NFL should be able to do: tackle! Roethlisberger's a big fella but this is ridiculous and encapsulates the essence of our defensive backs. Does anyone remember the NFL Films segment on the little corner from the Redskins named Pat Fisher? He was like 5'9" and he would battle twice a year against 6'8" Harold Carmichael of the Eagles....fella was 5' NOTHING and he would kill guys in the tackle! This must improve.

Cromartie: "Hey Cletis! Stretch it out good. I've shit the bed in every game this year except against Brett Favre in week 3. I'll show you how to STB like Primetime!
Gordon: "If only I get the chance....STB...STB...STB..."

Cromartie was a net loss this year in every way. We have come to find out that he played the season with a fractured hip so perhaps he gets a pass and we reevaluate next year. We knew there had to be an injury but they covered it up pretty well....although every QB in the league DID attack AC every game so I guess they were savvy.

Where to begin? Well we've just begun and our Secondary has issues. What now is the resolution?

Discuss...

The Divisional Round Terrible Voodoo Doll: D.P.O.Y Edition

The intangibles of course (See Voodoo when discussing intangibles). We here at the San Diego Sports Fan Collective have tried to replicate our routine over the last four weeks as best as possible, which of course leads us to our fourth installment of Voodoo. This week we have The Terrible Voodoo Doll in the Shadow of the Charger Power Towel: Defensive Player of The Year, James Harrison Edition.

Yes We Have a Towel Too...You Were First...Who Cares

We don't think Harrison can be stopped by human force alone so we have conjured his destruction in the form of a Voodoo Doll. This is no ordinary Voodoo Doll. A trip to the Salvation Army brought us to a doll, direct from Kenya...a nation with Voodoo practicing elements. Fate? We think so. Look at the native beads draped over Harrison's shoulder...we stuck him up good...it may be our only hope.

Fuckin' lip stick? Shit, man....Hey....I'm a SC Trojan...that shit ain't right!

Keep something in mind. The Voodoo Doll tradition began back on December 21st with a Voodoo Snowman when the Chargers were facing the most dire of circumstances. The Chargers could have won their difficult East Coast road game and still been eliminated by virtue of a Bronco home victory versus a fledgling Bills squad.... but they persevered...they survived... and they advanced. Then came Voodoo on Jay Cutler followed by The Manning de Milo.... which has led us ultimately to fate... January 11th at Heinz field. Why do I mention this? Our Voodoo began in Tampa Bay on 12/21 and our Voodoo seems to be preordained to end in Tampa Bay, site of Superbowl XLIII.

Is this fate? We think so.... a fate we will explain after our 20-17 victory this afternoon.

Good Morning & Good Luck

Chief

Nirvana Awaits Sayeth The Sages: Divisional Round

The Sages say...

It's that time of week again...Sage Advice! Because we're superstitious? No! Because we're Buddhist? No! Because it's a cheap way to infuse Jessica Alba pictures into a post about playoff football? No! Look..it is what is. Better not to ask questions but to know and accept that this nonsense is working...which means, of course, that it makes sense! Without further adieu...

Young fanatics...it is the elimination of suffering that you seek on your way to a perfect state: Nirvana. A victory will bring you peace and happiness thus one step closer to your ultimate goal of Nirvana/A Superbowl Victory. In this state you will be free of petty fixations and you will have compassion for all.

Look at our blog URL...are we capable of having compassion for all?

Trust us. Upon attainment of your goal the anguish in your lives will be extinguished...at that time you will receive an otherworldly glow that only others who have also received enlightenment will notice. When you have reached enlightenment you will find it easy to let go of the negative...

Is there anything else we can do to transcend this difficult task that awaits us at 1:45 pm on Sunday January 11th?

Remember your winning combinations....and stop the Defensive Player of The Year! He is an obstacle to Nirvana...

Thank you Sages.

Hmmm....Stop the Defensive Player of The Year....

It's Scifers Week...let's talk balls

We've all known for some time that Mike Scifers is a pretty special punter. He doesn't get the recognition he deserves because there are so many other fine punters out there....and nobody cares about kicking footballs. There is however, a noteworthy skill that he has mastered -- one that was developed under the tutelage of an Australian Master.

The Master: Darren Bennett

The Skill: The Aussie Kick

The Aussie Rules punt ensures that the ball, when punted, comes at you crazy like a knuckle ball but most importantly, due to the little flip given when dropping it for a punt, it does not bounce forward into the end-zone. It bounces pretty much straight up or slightly back. Colts trapped at the 2 yard line...Game....Set....Match!

I may have butchered the explanation but what do you expect...I'm not a punter! Direct any and all questions to 4th and Long...he's your Huckleberry.

In addition to this game changing kicking style, Darren Bennett is bad ass, and currently holds the number one most memorable punt according to us.

Oi Mate...ya dn't want me kickin' ya in the balls

We'll preface the following with this: the "most memorable punts list" only has three punts on it because during most weeks.....we could give two shits about punting away possession:

• #3 Sean Landetta of the Giants versus the Bears in January of 1986. On their way to a Superbowl XX victory the Bears handed it to the Giants 20-0 during the Divisional round of the playoffs. Landetta's kick went for negative yards (15 ?)...we were there...it was COLD!

• #2 Mike Scifers and his pin of Peyton Manning at the 2 yard line to essentially win the Wildcard game for the Chargers. 2009.

• #1 Darren Bennett.....the punt must have been terrible (or at least the coverage) because Bennett was forced to make a tackle...and he proceeded to kill the returner! Clothesline Destruction Tackle!!! Think it was his rookie campaign, fresh out of the Aussie Rules game, where men who kick must be men who tackle! 1994?

Three Punts in all of our years of watching football. Three stinking punts! Sorry 4th and Long... but it is what is.

Darren Bennett is the man and Scifers learned from him...The PUNTING MEN!

This concludes today's run for Mike Scifers, the ONLY player we will need on Sunday versus the Steelers.

The Upcoming Week In Voodoo...

Which direction will the Pittsburgh Steelers take us this week? Better know yo history...

Denver Donkey Voodoo Snowman
Week 16: Needing a Charger win in Tampa and a Bronco loss at Mile High against the Bills
Voodoo Snowman / Ghost of Jake Plummer delivers a smashed face to Jeff Garcia via Quentin Jammer, then helps Broncos choke, in thin mountain air. Later melts into CA. sunset...

Denver Donkey Voodoo Doll: Jay Chokler/Lil' Hillbilly Edition
Week 17: With AFC West Championship on the line versus the Broncos, The Little Hillbilly is rattled early and often...two picks w/ one coming in the end zone. Work of art, however extremely dangerous with pins poking every which way. No Children Harmed.

Manning de Milo Voodoo Doll
Week 18: Wild card round of the playoffs, 2008 MVP picks up healthy chunk of yardage but has little to show for it in the way of points. Takes only sack of game at most crucial time, resulting in another 1st round Colt exit. De Milo knock off retired to Canton, OH.

Pittsburgh Steeler Edition
Week 19:.......oh what we have planned...

Remember our credo during this 2008/2009 playoff installation...

DO NOT FUCK WITH WINNING COMBINATIONS, PEOPLE

Initial Thoughts on the Wild Card Playoff

CHARGERS 23 COLTS 17

MIKE SCIFRES IS A PUNTING GOD!!!!!!!

&

HOORAY FOR VOODOO

Living in the Past: Reflections on the Denver Route

We have included some images from the "AFC West Championship game last Sunday" and wanted to revisit it one last time before moving forward to the Wild card game against the Colts tomorrow. As you can see to the left, there was no shortage of Hochuli impersonators. That ol timer had a blind man's walking cane--and should have been charging $1 per picture--he was getting mobbed. It set the tone perfectly for the day....and then it was halftime and we were up 24-6. What to do during a blowout? Hmmm...

Well on a day where it now appears as though you'll be going to the playoffs at 8-8 and your ARCHENEMY the New England Patriots will be sitting at home this post season with an 11-5 mark, there is really only one thing to do....start an antagonizing text message war with one of your best friends...who incidentally hails from Boston...

Yes, I was the dickhead who was texting during the game, but I didn't begin until we were blowing the Donkeys out (ooh, that was beginning to sound like an entertainment show in TJ) and it is worth noting that I am an excellent mutitasker. Below is the text transcript, cleaned of hurried spelling errors (mostly, I think)...Enjoy Boston Fan floundering in agony (sorry TL)...

WE are blue and BOSTON is red...

October 12th, 2008. Meaningless regular season game?
Go blow your brother and I hope LT gets aids and dies. We are 11-5 and don't make the playoffs! That's fuckin' bullshit. Fuck the Jets as well. Lets...(Transmission of part 2 failed...lost in texting space)
That's hilarious...and going on the blog! Too funny!
And don't worry, LT will cry like a bitch by the end of the playoffs and I am betting on every other coach in the league to out coach Norv Turner.
Were there tears when you wrote that? Good luck with the Yankees in '09!
No tears just anger and Three Championship Trophies!
AHHH...the asterisk card!

What will you be doing next weekend?
Not watching the Pats, so what's your point?
Say you're watchin' the Bruins...not the front runnin' Celts!

Don't be jealous, just watch as your joke of a sports town lets you down again.

It's all good, your town never wins a thing ever and this year won't be any different.
What are you getting Tom and Giselle for the big day? You should have time to shop!
Don't Know.
Seriously...what are you getting them?

Saux should sign Manny!
It's not going to happen. We have to "hope" Lowell is healthy and Ortiz plays well like we are used to.
Hope...that sounds pretty liberal. Who did you vote for?
Not for the guy who wants to tax me more. I am a realist not a socialist.

This just in...Peyton Manning wins the 2009 MVP....that's O.K....we have HOPE (PR received 2 first place votes).

And so the text battle ended and it felt good. It hurt to see a friend in pain......but fuck him and his teams!!!

After the game all of Charger Nation was happy and continued to revel in the ecstasy of avenging the "Hochuli Bowl"....below are some Bolt fans with an excellent banner....what you cannot see is the background action which our camera failed to adequately capture...

...a young Denver Bronco Fan, 25ish and female, decided to "gear up" and bring a rather large prop (A Bronco stuffed animal). What ensued was a game of "keep away" and little Bronco sailed back and forth to a symphony of cheers, tears, and "fuck you, you fuckin' assholes!!!!!". It was kind of sad actually and I felt bad for her. She did land a lot of kicks to the rear-ends of taunting Charger fans but it did little to assuage her agony.

When in enemy territory....wear your team gear....but leave the props at home...or at least hide them as you enter and exit the gates of hell!

Dear Patriot Tears #3

"This is a bunch of BS...I think we should have a playoff game with the dolphins to see who should really win!!! This sucks!!!"

Posted by Brentley December 28, 08 07:37 PM


Dear Patriot Tears,

We already know "who should really win!!!". It's the team that came to Foxborough and bamboozled you with a noodle armed QB and a college style scheme---The WildCat! RRRROAR!! We don't remember what the score was... yes we do...Dolphins 38 Patriots 13. Shut up!

The Axe has been Wielded

Didn't even see it coming. Shanahan fired two days after the sort of collapse that hadn't happened since 1967 when conferences went to divisional play. Doesn't seem fair...didn't Shanahan do an excellent job with what he had? He was down to his 8th tailback of the season and what do you expect when your defense is that porous? Just ask Cutler, he'll let you know what he thinks of the D. This really falls on the shoulders of the Denver Broncos General Manager...and there in lies the problem.

Mike Shanahan is also the team's General Manager therefore all deficiencies in personnel are his responsibility. Hard to believe that the wind blown Irishmen is gone but the buck does have to stop somewhere (even after a vote of confidence was given by the owner).

They haven't tasted any real success since Elway finished up---as I was astutely advised by Bronco Fans wearing Bubby Brister and John Elway jerseys this past Sunday evening---I guess on the heels of surrendering 52 points you must hang your hat on something..."Hey how many Super Bowls you got? None! We got two, '98 and '99!"

Yes you do Bronco Fan...yes you do...

It's also interesting to see the other dominoes falling....Romeo Crennel of the Browns and Eric Mangini of the Jets...both Belichick disciples. When the hell (oops) is Notre Dame gonna fire Charlie the Hutt?

Who are some of the "Hot" coaching and GM hires for 2009? None other than Patriots GM Scott Pioli and Offensive Coordinator Josh McDaniels.

We think it is quite clear that Bill Belichick is the Evil Genius behind the Patriots success...all others are merely figure heads in place to answer questions from the press so that Bill can scheme. Amazing...

Editor's Note:

Charger Fan in Donkey Land just texted the following message..."One broadcaster said last night, Shanahan could go to the Chargers next year."

Unless...Norv runs the table!

Best T-Shirt of the Week

Forget the Pro-Bowl! Would you want to be a part of a club that would take Brett Favre?

Of the numerous shirts to be had in the Stadium parking lot on game day...with the hijacked logos...stretched out collars...and silly slogans....this diamond in the rough shined like a beacon beyond the overflowing Porta-John.

Over our last four games Phillip Rivers tossed 11 TDs against 1 Int....the audacity of PRivers to show up Pro-Bowl quarterback Jay Cutler/Chokler/Little Hillbilly!

Ah, The Audacity of Hope....Thanks for keeping it going, Phillip.

See the boys at Frightening Lightning to get yours today.

"One-In-A-Rows" Complete: Don't mess with the Holy Trinity

Do not underestimate The Holy Trinity: Little Hillbilly Voodoo Doll, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, and Jessica Alba.

It is nearly impossible to accomplish things with out faith and so we put our faith in other worldly Idols and Sages to bring us back from the abyss. Make no mistake about it, we are back, as our 52 point exclamation mark can attest.

"The Big Hitter" Lama and his cohort Jessica Alba prophesied a monumental showdown between the Chargers and Broncos on December 28th...

....and they delivered on their prophecy, karma being restored to the football universe. In addition to the work of our Spiritual gurus there was a Voodoo doll created to avenge the Phillip Rivers Pro Bowl snubbing/completely fuck up Jay Cutler's shit...and it worked. With every air-mailed pass and end zone interception we could feel the thrust of those needles into his appendages...as well as his head. That's a Pro Bowl Quarterback?

Hey you S.O.B...I gotta piss... take that needle out of my voodoo crotch.

Thank you... to a near and dear source who sent this picture to our phone at Jack Murphy Field when the score reached 38-13....image says it all doesn't it? The guy threw 2 picks, one in the end zone and Philip Rivers not a one. Who's the Pro Bowler? Not Jay Chokler!

What a good time calling EVERY DONKEY who was wearing a #6 jersey, Bubby Brister! Half of them didn't even get it and no wonder really.

We took some good pictures of Charger Fans with Banners and others of Bronco Fans getting their props (giant Bronco Stuffed Animal) stolen from them from Charger fans...quite funny....young lady very pissed, many a colorful epithet.

Why do people show up to Charger/Bronco games wearing....Dan Marino, Tom Brady, Ben Roethlisberger, Matt Cassel and every other dickhead's jersey not involved in the game? Why pay all that money for a ticket if not a fan of those two teams? Wearing a random jersey to show that you actually know football...actually shows that you know JACK SQUAT!

THEPATRIOTSLOSTTHEPATRIOTSLOSTTHEPATRIOTSLOSTTHEPATRIOTSLOST
THEPATRIOTSLOSTTHEPATRIOTSLOSTTHEPATRIOTSLOSTTHEPATRIOTSLOST

Kids Around San Diego Rejoice

This Christmas, some kids around San Diego asked for stuffed animals and kitchen sets and others asked for Legos and Guitar Hero....

The only thing STRONGER than my throwing arm....my hair style! Whaddup?

...and then there were those who asked for a Charger Victory against Denver on December 28th. A sure fire way to achieve that wish was to ask Santa for The Denver Donkey Voodoo Doll: Little Hillbilly/Jay Chokler edition.

Are those my insulin needles you little #^&#**$@? Get me off this turf!

The convergence of Christianity and Voodoo: An inclusive place indeed, this America!

Now listen to a little pumpkin pie hair cut owning Denver Donkey QB...



The Genesis of The Little Hillbilly's tears...



Editor's Note:

Former Charger and current ESPN analyst, Marcellus Wiley, is a raging douche bag moron...
"I went to Columbia...let thy speak, forlorn fans of vanquished teams....and please refer to me, your humble commentator, as Dat Dude!" (Believe it or not I don't have the time...please send a link to this statement to that Jagov! What a dick! Tell him to scrap that p.o.s. wanna be gangsta ride he cruises the Gaslamp Quarter in!)

It will be funny when the, "fackin Patriots miss the Gawd Damn play-awwfs with a stellah 11-5 mahhk. Gawd Damn Chahh-juhhs at 8-8! Fackin breaks my hahht.

Merry X-mas....Boston Loses To Los Angeles

Merry Christmas Boston!

You just had your 19 game winning streak ended on the anniversary of the birth of Christ. Two-thousand and eight year old Jesus of Nazareth would have been proud that the Lakers, a team he would have walked on, beat up on a team from a town with the most suspect of race relations over the years. Love thy neighbor Boston.

Truthfully we could care less about the Association. It's been some time since we cared (Jordan getting away with traveling) and despite being from Southern California, we're not much for Kobe, the "rear end defiler" and his team, the "they're so far away from San Diego that we could give two shits that they have some sort of geographical connection to us", Los Angeles Lakers. But it does become a decent story when Boston gets a winning streak ended.....by a team from California....on Christmas! Glory to God in the highest--thank you for ruining Boston fan's holiday.

We might begin to care if we can get this as a 2009 NBA Finals match-up. Rooting strictly against Boston of course...

My son would have walked all over the LAKErs! Go scrape your windshields Boston Fan...or I'll smite you with more freezing rain!

Almost Masshole of the Week 16

After having sat out the entire season to surf and perfect the crappy menu at Seau's the restaurant (only order Mama Seau's Teriyaki bowls...all else is shiite)....The Genius finally called. Seau proved his mettle by compiling five unassisted tackles and adding two assists against the useless team from the desert. Then a Masshole jumped out of the stands and tackled/humped/hugged him...

Photos:Matthew West (Boston Herald)

The Masshole's name is Todd Kobus and he's from a place called Attleboro, Mass. We only know it to be a breeding ground for Massholes...the kind that like to "hug" 250 lb Samoans. According to his attorney he only wanted a hug.

HateThePatriots also obtained an audio transcript of Kobus addressing the judge during his arraignment:

Kobus: Yaw Honuh....I am an Iraq Wah veteran and I wahd nevuh do something to disgrace the Unifahm of this fine cahntry. I've always been a Patriot! Whethuh I was tawchin a hawstile village or rootin on my team to Faw Supah Bowl victories...that's right Yaw Honuh, I'm countin' the 16-0 regulah season of '07 cuz Gawd knows we shoulda won it. My point is that I'm a Patriot.

Now I'd like to be released becawwz I've done my time as it puhtains to the Gawd Awful numbuh of times I've been called a homo or queeuh due to said Huggin incident. Queeuh? To the fackin' cawn-tra-e! The fackin' truth is that i needed to get to Juni-uh to tell him that I fackin love him, in the least homo way pawssible, and that I am fackin unbelievably happy that Gawd (Belichick) brawt him back frahhm all those homos and queeuhs in Cali----specifically those powdah blue wearin' queeuhs who suppawt the Cha-juhhs. In summation Yaw Honuh...The hug was fah the respect I have fah Juni-uh Seau and I am NAWT as QUEEUH as a GAWD DAMN three dollah bill.

Judge: This is a court of law. I would hold you in contempt if I didn't think you were retarded.

Kobus: Yaw Honuh...as Gawd as my witness, I am NAWT RETAH-DED, NAW am I Gay-uh than a fackin' Christmas tree! Unfahr-tunately...I pah-took in too many Lah-guhs. Fah too many.

This nonsense goes on and on and we started to feel as though the Almost Masshole of the Week was being awarded for the wrong reasons. Sure this guy is a Masshole but would we really benefit in any way from Junior getting taken out? Do we just have a grudge against the menu at Seau's the restaurant? These are questions to ponder......for now, Todd Kobus is The Almost Masshole of the Week!

The only thing worth ordering...Holy shit did the price go up on that! Mama?

How about a nice...football!

Dear Santa,

We know you're busy but we'd like to revise our previous Christmas list. First you provided us with The Marvel in Arrowhead and then came the Chargers win last week against the Bucs and you then proceeded to cause the Donkeys to choke one off at home versus Tim Russert's Bills.

But with only a couple days left we must get in our final requests....and there are only three requests that we have so we think you might be able to accommodate us...

1. A Charger Victory on December 28th (cheap tickets would be great but that is neither here nor there) against the Denver Broncos. Help us into the playoffs and please help the Donkeys complete the greatest collapse in the history of the NFL.
2. The New England Patriots finishing with a 11-5 record...but MISSING THE PLAYOFFS! We'll leave off the required scenarios and chain reactions that must occur for this to happen, but trust us when we say...THE WORLD NEEDS THIS TO HAPPEN!
   
3. Finally......Santa.......well our Denver Donkey Voodoo Snowman melted when the sun came out yesterday...and so we need another Voodoo doll.....please!?

We've tried to be good this year and we know it's last minute but if you could find the time to read our list and grant us these wishes, we'd be very thankful. Enjoy your milk and cookies that Mrs. Avenger-in-Chief leaves out for you.

Thank you

The Avenger-in-Chief
(post your wishes in the comments section)

Mailbag: Questionable Questions...Suspect Answers

The following email came from a litigious Avenger in the city of Angels:

Dear Avenger-In-Chief

Go Bolts! I guess this is the dream situation—or at least the best dream that could’ve come out of this dismal season…

But I’ve been wondering—and I haven’t heard anything up here so I was wondering if they’re talking about it down there—if the Chargers lose to the Broncos, would they still have been the division champs if they had won the first match up? If so, doesn’t that mean that Ed Hochuli would have cost the city of San Diego the playoff money that would’ve come from a postseason? Not to mention the bonuses the players would have received?

-Sword Wielding Avenger in An-ga-leez

Chuck Norris my Ass!...Ed Hochuli is the one who inspires fear.

To which we offered the following assessment:

Thank you for the question, S.W. Avenger in Angaleez.

If we had won the first match-up we'd be 8-7 and they would be 7-8. If they then beat us we would be leveled at 8-8 with the H2H split. We would have won the next tie break which is best division record.

So we are in a position to lose out on playoff money if we lose this weekend...which of course would be due to Ed's negligence...so we have cause if we do the UNTHINKABLE and blow it this weekend! Perhaps Ed's firm can represent us?

Not my area of expertise, so I shall seek additional legal counsel....

We decided to go to our Greater Great Lakes Area Expert On Jurisprudence. He is not barred in California or Colorado but his legal acumen is always spot on. In some circles he's known as "Eye Patch" and others he's just "Your Boy Blue"....in either case, don't let the nickname discourage you from believing in his ability to represent HateThePatriots....

I, Benicio Del Toro,as Dr. Gonzo will serve as the graphic representation of this site's Legal Team

......you should probably be more worried that our barrister in any way resembles that of Hunter S. Thompson's personal lawyer. We will assuage your reservation by noting that he eschews psychedelic drugs for cases of Miller High Life........we are comfortable and accepting of that vice.

Chief,

At first blush it does not seem as though the City of San Diego could sue Ed Hochuli personally. They would have to sue the NFL, the organization he works for, because his actions were a part of his duty for the NFL. Although, if it were discovered that Ed had placed a bet in Vegas on said game, then this would expose him to personal liability because this would be seen as reason and motive outside the scope of his job for his blunder.

Another wrinkle is it may have to be the San Diego Chargers who must sue, because it is them, not the City that have a contractual relationship with the NFL. (Although the City could join the suit, if it owns Jack Murphy Stadium (n/k/a Qualcom, which I think they do). If San Diego wins its suit it can claim damages to those who were foreseeable victims, i.e. City of San Diego, J. Murphy Stadium, Avenger-in-Chief and Cronies (in their roles as fans, crazy persons, SARS members, and most importantly tailgaters).

Sincerely ,

Your Boy Blue
In-House Counsel for Pats Haters

We hope that this in some way answers your question, S.W. Avenger in Angaleez. It should be noted for the record, however, that all merits for the case will go out the window when we make The Little Hillbilly cry on Sunday evening. We'll have no cause upon conclusion of the final regular season game of 2008. It is always wise to have a contingency plan and we are thankful that you have brought it to our attention.

My hair's like the weather in San Diego....Sweet! And I'm better than John Elway.

Charger Wins and Bronco Losses: Voodoo, Karma and Rose Pedals

The Denver Donkey Voodoo Snowman came through with flying colors and it was a glorious thing to behold...

To think that all it took to string together an improbable combination of Charger Victories and Bronco Choke-jobs was a little backwoods Haitian Voodoo...

a fairly straightforward premise proposed back on December 8th that used semantics to trick us into believing...

The Bolts don't really need to win three in a row while having Denver lose three in a row...it's much more simple than that.........(Shhhh...we have to win one in a row...three times...the correct spin is necessary to swallow this unlikely scenario)

All we have to do is defeat KC at Arrowhead next week and have the Donks lose back east in Carolina...that's it...

....so that we can have a chance the following week back east in Buccaneer Country whereby the Bills will then sojourn in Mile High to knock the fake and bake off of Mike Shanahan's face.....

, and finally the other worldly wisdom of the 14th Incarnation of the Dalai Lama and Jessica Alba, the spiritual advisers to HateThePatriots.blogspot.com.....

This amalgam of belief systems has brought us to this space in time...a time when karmic balance can return as two teams meet, with everything on the line, to right the wrongs of the past. The next ritual will be that of exorcism as the Roman Catholic Church is called in to rid us of the wayward spirit of Ed Hochuli.

No stone left unturned was the mantra for getting us into the playoffs so we here are personally exhausted but look forward to seeing the one final ingredient in action that will bring us to the precipice of football immortality......momentum!

Stage Two of "One-in-a Row" is complete leaving us only with Stage Three, a stage which is controlled solely by the Chargers......at home......momentum friends.......fucking momentum!

Jammer Hit Deserves Justice...forget the stills

Chargers 41 Buccaneers 24...Who yelled Boom?

The play of the game...Quentin Jammer using a hard right shoulder to bludgeon Jeff Garcia. The attack led to a series of shaky decisions as it would be clear to surmise that he was wandering Queer Street after that hit...

Wait for it....

BOOM, he's on his back!

Who yelled BOOM on the field at impact? Classic Madden '93! Please send us the audio if you have it.

Nobody makes me bleed my own blood!

But, I threw it right to #20? What's wrong with that? We admire Garcia's toughness...and his ability to swallow a liter of blood.

Bronco Snowman Voodoo is not working...Donks up 13-0...

"One-in-a-Row" part II...Half Way Home...

The noose is tightening around the Denver Snowman's neck. Bolts up 20-10 in Tampa Bay...Bad voodoo for the Broncos...we can only hope they're watching the halftime show.

Little Hillbilly jersey or Jake the Snake? Who cares?