The Upcoming Week In Voodoo...

Which direction will the Pittsburgh Steelers take us this week? Better know yo history...

Denver Donkey Voodoo Snowman
Week 16: Needing a Charger win in Tampa and a Bronco loss at Mile High against the Bills
Voodoo Snowman / Ghost of Jake Plummer delivers a smashed face to Jeff Garcia via Quentin Jammer, then helps Broncos choke, in thin mountain air. Later melts into CA. sunset...

Denver Donkey Voodoo Doll: Jay Chokler/Lil' Hillbilly Edition
Week 17: With AFC West Championship on the line versus the Broncos, The Little Hillbilly is rattled early and often...two picks w/ one coming in the end zone. Work of art, however extremely dangerous with pins poking every which way. No Children Harmed.

Manning de Milo Voodoo Doll
Week 18: Wild card round of the playoffs, 2008 MVP picks up healthy chunk of yardage but has little to show for it in the way of points. Takes only sack of game at most crucial time, resulting in another 1st round Colt exit. De Milo knock off retired to Canton, OH.

Pittsburgh Steeler Edition
Week 19:.......oh what we have planned...

Remember our credo during this 2008/2009 playoff installation...

DO NOT FUCK WITH WINNING COMBINATIONS, PEOPLE

Will You be Skiing this off season, Jay Cutler?

For Your Enjoyment...An excerpt from an extraordinarily crappy Yahoo article regarding the Charger/Bronco game on Sunday night...with a telling Jay Cutler quote:

The San Diego Chargers had just won the AFC West title in resounding fashion, defeating the Broncos, 52-21, to earn the right to host the Indianapolis Colts in a first-round playoff game six days later, and Cutler stopped to answer an unambiguous question: Was it fair to conclude that the team he just played is for real?

“These guys?” the Pro Bowl quarterback asked, gesturing to the players celebrating behind him. “San Diego? No, I don’t think so. I think Indy’ll handle ‘em pretty good. We really can’t stop anybody, and that’s the bottom line.”

For trying to dismiss our convincing victory and also for throwing half of your team under the bus as incapable of stopping another NFL team....we have a special gift for you...

MORE VOODOO ASSHOLE! Don't hit a tree on the way down the slopes....

"One-In-A-Rows" Complete: Don't mess with the Holy Trinity

Do not underestimate The Holy Trinity: Little Hillbilly Voodoo Doll, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, and Jessica Alba.

It is nearly impossible to accomplish things with out faith and so we put our faith in other worldly Idols and Sages to bring us back from the abyss. Make no mistake about it, we are back, as our 52 point exclamation mark can attest.

"The Big Hitter" Lama and his cohort Jessica Alba prophesied a monumental showdown between the Chargers and Broncos on December 28th...

....and they delivered on their prophecy, karma being restored to the football universe. In addition to the work of our Spiritual gurus there was a Voodoo doll created to avenge the Phillip Rivers Pro Bowl snubbing/completely fuck up Jay Cutler's shit...and it worked. With every air-mailed pass and end zone interception we could feel the thrust of those needles into his appendages...as well as his head. That's a Pro Bowl Quarterback?

Hey you S.O.B...I gotta piss... take that needle out of my voodoo crotch.

Thank you... to a near and dear source who sent this picture to our phone at Jack Murphy Field when the score reached 38-13....image says it all doesn't it? The guy threw 2 picks, one in the end zone and Philip Rivers not a one. Who's the Pro Bowler? Not Jay Chokler!

What a good time calling EVERY DONKEY who was wearing a #6 jersey, Bubby Brister! Half of them didn't even get it and no wonder really.

We took some good pictures of Charger Fans with Banners and others of Bronco Fans getting their props (giant Bronco Stuffed Animal) stolen from them from Charger fans...quite funny....young lady very pissed, many a colorful epithet.

Why do people show up to Charger/Bronco games wearing....Dan Marino, Tom Brady, Ben Roethlisberger, Matt Cassel and every other dickhead's jersey not involved in the game? Why pay all that money for a ticket if not a fan of those two teams? Wearing a random jersey to show that you actually know football...actually shows that you know JACK SQUAT!

THEPATRIOTSLOSTTHEPATRIOTSLOSTTHEPATRIOTSLOSTTHEPATRIOTSLOST
THEPATRIOTSLOSTTHEPATRIOTSLOSTTHEPATRIOTSLOSTTHEPATRIOTSLOST

"One-in-a-Row" Part III of a Three Part Series:The Slaying of Little Hillbilly

The improbable is here. Back on December 8th we asked for three consecutive Charger Wins coupled with three consecutive Bronco Losses....and here we are on the Verge of yet another AFC West Title. We control our own Destiny. Without further adieu let's go to some Sage Advice...

The HTP Sages suggest the following points to remember for those who are pessimistic about the Chargers' chances...

1. Karma. To restore balance in the universe, the wrongs of Hochuli must be avenged thus setting us on the right path.
2. The Little Hillbilly/Jay Chokler Voodoo Doll is in play. To achieve karma, in the Tibetan Buddhist sense, using other means (Voodoo) is completely acceptable...(probably not....editors discretion to "play" with various world views). Cutler will have furious arm and leg issues today...in addition to a furious headache leading to myriad poor decision making.
   

3. Shanahan's Lucky Charms vanished after their second Super Bowl run in '99...

No more Malarkey or Shenanigans from Shanahan

A last piece of Sage Advice from the Lama and Alba: Dress warm. The Prime Time Lights may be on but it's supposed to be 43 degrees. Enjoy...

-HTP Spiritual Advisers

Wish List for December 28th, 2008....

New England Patriot Win
Miami Dolphin Win
New York Jet Loss
Baltimore Raven Win
San Diego Charger Win
Denver Bronco Loss

What do the following scenarios mean to us? For one it means that the Chargers are the AFC West Champs and get a home playoff game against the Indianapolis Colts....

It also means that the Broncos will have achieved the biggest collapse (3 game lead with 3 to play) since conferences moved to a division format....haaaaaa....haaaaa....haaaaa.....

It will be nice to lessen the Brett Favre Drama...Just go back to Mississippi!

But also of extreme gratification will be the New England Patriots finishing with an outstanding 11-5 record....only to miss the playoffs....maybe our regular season meeting wasn't just a "meaningless regular season game"......ENJOY!

Kids Around San Diego Rejoice

This Christmas, some kids around San Diego asked for stuffed animals and kitchen sets and others asked for Legos and Guitar Hero....

The only thing STRONGER than my throwing arm....my hair style! Whaddup?

...and then there were those who asked for a Charger Victory against Denver on December 28th. A sure fire way to achieve that wish was to ask Santa for The Denver Donkey Voodoo Doll: Little Hillbilly/Jay Chokler edition.

Are those my insulin needles you little #^&#**$@? Get me off this turf!

The convergence of Christianity and Voodoo: An inclusive place indeed, this America!

Now listen to a little pumpkin pie hair cut owning Denver Donkey QB...



The Genesis of The Little Hillbilly's tears...



Editor's Note:

Former Charger and current ESPN analyst, Marcellus Wiley, is a raging douche bag moron...
"I went to Columbia...let thy speak, forlorn fans of vanquished teams....and please refer to me, your humble commentator, as Dat Dude!" (Believe it or not I don't have the time...please send a link to this statement to that Jagov! What a dick! Tell him to scrap that p.o.s. wanna be gangsta ride he cruises the Gaslamp Quarter in!)

It will be funny when the, "fackin Patriots miss the Gawd Damn play-awwfs with a stellah 11-5 mahhk. Gawd Damn Chahh-juhhs at 8-8! Fackin breaks my hahht.