Alternative Sports on the Tube/Laughing your Ass off/Week in Review/The Future of this Blog

Where to begin? Let's get right to the sport of watching television. In the last three days I've seen three of the funniest things ever---busting my gut, coughing, tears flowing from the eyes. I must share and I don't feel in the least bit guilty that these videos are off of our topic of sports. This is sport!

DATING:
For those who enjoy watching train-wreck television we bring you Daisy of Love. What happens when you lock up a bunch of dudes in a house with an unlimited supply of alcohol and they irresponsibly leave the patio doors wide open? Naturally, a skunk will wander in to house and drunks will try to trap it. What ensues is the funniest shit you will ever see (think Stand By Me during Gordy's tale about Lard-Ass and the pie eating contest.....)

FIGURE SKATING:
I had never seen the Will Ferrell film Blades of Glory and I still haven't. But I did watch one scene and I believe it was the first time they skated together in competition. In searching for a video that best captured the same disaster on ice that I witnessed, I settled on this one. It also has the perfect song to go along with it. Enjoy.

MOTHER LOVING:
This was the Justin Timberlake/Andy Samberg follow up to Dick In A Box. It originally aired a few weeks back for Mother's Day and then I saw it at the beginning of the week.....and then it re-aired last night. Perhaps not as good as D.I.A.B but hilarious none the less...

SDSU AZTECS:
Stephen Strasburg got his first loss of the year on Friday night against Virginia in the opening game of the Irvine Regional. Dude pitched like crap.....gave up two runs.....only struck out 15. At least he went out guns blazing.SDSU was eliminated tonight by the UCI Anteaters who are facing UVA as we write and looking to force another game against the Cavs tomorrow. I'd like to see Irvine representing SoCal in Omaha so we'll throw our support behind the Uncircumcised Penises of UCI. For more on SDSU's season you should go to 619 Sports.

PADRES:
Padres went 3-3 on their road trip this week to maintain their .500 winning percentage. Jake Peavy is still a Padre. Adrian Gonzalez is destroying National League pitching--hit his 20th HR today and The Effect picked up his 15th save after blowing one last night. While there has been talk of when Jake Peavy will be dealt and not if, SI.com's Jon Heyman proposes that the Padres would be much better off dealing Adrian Gonzalez. It pains me to say it but he's right. AG's contract is so cheap relative to his talent (Gold Glover and potential HR leader) that the Friar's could get a boat load for him. Not to mention that we have two 1b prospects as well as the possibility that with the 3rd pick in the draft we might take a kid out ofUNC who plays...1b. I'd hate to see him go though.....he's a guy who could end up being like Gwynn: Synonymous with the San Diego Padres. A legitimate retired #....unlike Winfield and Garvey.

In addition to trying to write entertaining blogs I also try to collect and gather other good examples from the field. I came across a great blog by a Twins fan called The Daily Something. Great analysis and a nice little piece on the mystery that is The David Eckstein Love Fest. It's a reasonable question to ask of a player who's hitting .220 but has been described by GM Kevin Towers as our 2009 MVP. I did my best to explain it to him in thatblog's comment section....maybe you could add something about the little fella.

More Peavy trade potential as well as the downward spiral of Khalil Greene from SI.com's Jon Heyman.....poor guy. And to think I actually thought that the Padres could have held him until July and sold high...waiting 'til July would have got us a bag of balls and a case of Budweiser from the Cards.

VOTE FOR MANNY:
Other good blogs I came across: It is about the money, stupid and Vote For Manny. Both of which come from a New York blogger named Jason Rosenberg. The former is his primary site and the latter is a little movement to get Manny into the All-Star game. Purpose: to shed light on the stupidity of the whole process as well as to make Bud Selig acknowledge thePED issue as it pertains to Manny being elected while serving a suspension. It's a great idea on many levels the least of which is to show how bogus the selection process is (Suspended playerManRam is running in 4th place so as an OF he needs to move up one spot where as Adrian Gonzalez is running in about 8th place....PEOPLE...He plays in a pitcher's park and has 20 bombs! Do The Right Thing!). I wrote a post on it so go read it and then sit on-line for 10 minutes and cast 25 votes for Manny Ramirez and Adrian Gonzalez. BTW: Manny Ramirez is an unequivocal A--HOLE!

CHARGERS:
SI.com's Jim Trotter writes about some Running Backs who he thinks are on the rebound in '09......take a guess....

NFL NEWS:
A good site for NFL/Entertainment news is FJuice @ nfljuice.com, and it's not just because we got linked from there. If you want a great way to start the day check out Morning Wood....isn't that the way everyday should start?

THE FUTURE:
We have changed our URL and exported all of our posts to a new site. The current URL is shite and was never intended to be a long term address primarily because we never really intended to do this long term. Anyways, the new address will honor San Diego sporting history as well as explain why we're even doing this....aside from the fact that all parties involved are somewhat crazy. Await word, ye Faithful Eleven.

Movie Quotes Will Explain This Winning Streak...maybe?

The difficult thing about blogging the baseball season is the short shelf life of each thought. Before you can implement an idea from a game the next one has passed. All I really want to talk about is the Padres sweep of the Cubs but here we are on Memorial Day having witnessed the Padres extend their winning streak to 10 games with a late rally and extra inning victory. Oh who cares, there's only 11 of you reading anyway and China's access is restricted so I'll have at it......

The recent 9-0 home stand coupled with today's defeat of the D-Backs brings to mind two movies that may best describe the prevailing feeling Padre fans should be having:

1. PULP FICTION. The Character; Winston Wolf. The Scene: Vincent and Jules have just cleaned all of the fragments of Marvin's skull from the back of their get away car. The blood has been sopped up, the blankets are covering the upholstery, Travolta & Jackson look like a "couple of dorks", and they are confident that The Wolf has helped them escape certain incarceration. The Quote: "Well, let's not start suckin' each other's dicks quite yet." Now I've referenced this quote before and for good reason......it would be unwise considering San Diego's sporting history to get too excited over nothing. Not to be a wet blanket (or the damp throw pillow that my daughter just gacked on...true story) but it would be wise to remember that our 'book collection' has two fantastic 'book ends': A 9-3 start and our recent 10-0 run for a phenomenal 19-3 mark. But here's the problem..... all of the 'books' on the shelf are absolute SHITE!......think Jack Kerouac collection minus On the Road and Dharma Bums. The math on that is 4-19.....refer back to quote by The Wolf.
2. MAJOR LEAGUE. The Character; Jake Taylor. The Scene: Cleveland Indians squad is assembled in clubhouse and has just been notified that the team was constructed to lose so that the team could be moved. Each player would be released, traded or sent to the minors at season's end. The Quote: "I guess there's only one thing left to do...win the WHOLE fuckin' thing." I know, I know....you wanted to hear Cerrano say how much he likes Jesus but he no help hit curve ball......I get it... but it doesn't fit my theme (click here) so go with me. To keep Peavy, do the Padres have no choice but to 'win the whole fuckin' thing'? The Friars' FO wants to trade Jake Peavy but it will be met with even greater resistance by our fledgling fan base if it is done while the team is above .500 and has a chance to compete. Could the FO be hoping that this streak ends so it can get back to the business of giving John Moores a palatable $40 million dollar payroll? Will GM Kevin Towers begin to redecorate the bullpen with more of the Edwin Morenos of the world in order to soften fan expectations thus allowing Jake to be jettisoned? That's an awfully cynical thought but we all know that Jake's going, merely a matter of when....but will they trade him if we're playing good ball? (this is all ridiculous speculation and more of an excuse to mention Major League)
   

Those are my movie analogies and here are my observations from Sunday's game which was a 7-2 victory over the Cubs. A personal victory of note for me as the Friar's had dropped the 10 previous games I attended.

• I am a completely moronic child every time I see this name:

• Fuk-U-Do-Me......I laugh every time I see it in print and then I proceed to read this guy's name phonetically...every time. I am a MORON. It's like any time I've ever mentioned the word Duty in front of a teenager (such as: You have a duty to complete this task). All the teenager hears is doody....."Huh-Huh.....he said Doody." I am that same little teenage idiot every time I see Kosuke Fukudome play baseball. Sorry.
• Padre entertainment coordinators. Don't play Twist and Shout when the Cubs are in town...too Ferris Bueller's Day Off after he caught the foul ball during the game at Wrigley and then found his way on to the float in the Downtown Chicago parade. It's bad enough we're outnumbered every series those guys ever play here......don't make them feel anymore at home. Also ix nay any Smashing Pumpkins song.....they hail from Chicago....gotta think of these things.
• Always show footage of Garvey hitting the HR in 1984 when the Cubs are in town......it actually won't piss off that many people because they aren't even from Chicago, they're from Huntington Beach. I know because I was talking to them. Curse WGN's national reach!
• A batting avg. around .200 during 9-0 home stand. Really?
• Memo: Chicago Cubs fans who wear Chicago Bears jerseys to games in San Diego: If you decide to wear your Richard Dent #95 and guy wearing Padres jersey comes up to you and says, "The Sack Man's comin'," don't look at him like he's a crazy methhead from Lakeside but instead reply with, "I'm your man Dent," and then I'll continue the dance with, "If the Quarterback's slow he's gonna get bent," and then I'll be impressed with you instead of you looking like an ill-informed Jag-off. That's right.....YOU looked like the Jagoff.
• I do not like being outnumbered in our home park. It bothers me. On account of this uneasy feeling acquired when the Cubs visit, with all due respect to family members of mine who are Cub fans, I shall share the following sentiment: I have a strong dislike for The Lovable Losers...OK, I hate them. Take solace Chicagoans as it is not the same kind of hate I have for the Patriots.
• Finally.....watch out Dodgers!?? Not really but they are actually in our sights now.
  

Do The Right Thing

It's the Thighnal over at Sharapova's Thigh and we have Krystal Forscutt (Aussie on top) versus Keeley Hazell (Brit on bottom). Look at the pictures and guess who's winning......

Trust me....She's pasty! You'll see it if you get to the Thigh.

....wrong!

Somehow people are picking the pasty big boobed girl over the tanned big boobed girl. Tis a travesty so make like Mookie and Do The Right Thing.
2009 Hot Ladies Tournament Championship Game

Editors Note:
Amazingly the Padres have won 8 in a row....haven't checked it but I think they have averaged 3 runs per game during stretch. How the hell does that happen? Smoke and mirrors.

Unfortunately Matt Serra lost to Matt Hughes after nearly knocking him out in the first round. Hughes has become (or became quite some time ago) this Favre-ian type "every man" who does half of his UFC photo-ops in front of a tractor. To his Illinois farm will Hughes retire one day. Gimme a break. Midwestern farmers are humble people....Matt Hughes is a braggart....and a cock.....and in the words of Matt Serra, "He's a dick!".

Lyoto Machida is a bad man. I gave him a slight edge over Rashad Evans but he ended up punishing him......severely. The Light-heavy belt has changed hands in like five consecutive fights---Machida-Evans-Griffin-Jackson-?Lidell?--- ......who knows? I could see The Dragon defending for a while......although the 205 lb division is pretty stacked.

Oh yea.....the Padres won....again! In case you didn't believe me earlier.

Adrian Gonzalez will make you spill beer

When you have a lead you gotta get after hitters..... but seriously.....why would you ever give Adrian Gonzalez a strike? One blast last night and two tonight....really?

AG is legit, and should NEVER see a strike based on the ground-chuck surrounding him. But thanks anyways Cubs, et al. He's about all we've got so thanks for letting him play. The pride of San Diego.

Swept by the 'Stros

The Dodger's losing Manny for 50 games doesn't do the Padres a whole lot of good when they can't even pitch. I think the following excerpt from Craig Elsten at 619 Sports really says it all:

"The Padres have what you could call a top-heavy staff, maybe Dolly Parton-style top-heavy. Peavy and CY are great, but what lies below is of concern. In the 'pen, it's Bell and oh Hell."

Does anything else need to be said? "In the 'pen, it's Bell and oh Hell."
Bell and oh Hell. It's been said....I will sleep now.

Editor's Note:
Kyle Blanks has started playing LF with the Portland Beavers...that's a nice piece of fish.
Experiment begins with Blanks in left [SD Union-Tribune]

Rearview Mirror.... (.500)

John Cougar Mellencamp's "Crumblin' Down" seems the perfect song to describe our Padres. I don't know if the "walls" were ever truly up.....but they are tumblin' down. We were 9-3....we are 11-14.....I can't bare to do the math.....I do know that we were just swept by the Dodgers (that's a four game sweep).

Editor's note:
Fuck Ricky Hatton! You owe us $50 bucks, guy!

Padres Week 3: Rough Weekend @ The $9 buck cup

Three weeks down and the Padres are sitting 2 above .500---2 1/2 behind LA. It could be worse. The disappointing news is in that we were swept by the Giants (only a 2 game set) and then dropped a series to the Pirates at home.....our pitcher's park....where Jake Peavy can't seem to....well, pitch! The Padres are over .500 and Jake is under .500 (2-3).

While the team is beginning to come back to earth they still exhibit elements of entertaining baseball whether it be the fundamentals (moving runners over, backing up positions), hustle (see David Eckstein), sound hitting (Adrian Gonzalez crushed one like no other ever hit at The Bark, yesterday) or the youth movement (Headley, Hundley,--insert bullpen pitcher here--, the injured Evereth Cabrera). Those are all positive things and when coupled with good prices they are reasons to stay on the bandwagon.

More interesting Padre bits and pieces:

• Geoff Young looking at the last week and the overuse of a certain pitch by a certain pitcher, in his column Eight Sliders Sliding [Ducksnorts]

• Padre Unis....after all, a Friar does wear a brown robe not Blue [The Sacrifice Bunt]

• A struggling Peavy and yesterday's debacle against the Pirates [San Diego UT]

• A podcast by Craig Elsten and Chris Ello regarding the Padres "surging" (tongue-in-cheek) to a power ranking of #10 in MLB [619 Sports]

Three game set against the Rockies gets going at 5;40 pm today.....Chris Young must right the ship.

It makes perfect sense

Doesn't it make perfect season? When it comes time for a streak of 54 consecutive saves to end just call the 2009 edition of the San Diego Padres. Close to handing a lead to Heath Bell the pen coughs up the lead forcing the Padres to face Brad Lidge down a run.....the Brad Lidge who was PERFECT last year! No Problem.....



.....they faced him on Friday Night and did all right. Enter Jody Gerut and his lead-off double....

The final score will read Padres 8 Phillies 5.......people will note that Lidge blew his first save as a Phillie when Kevin Kouzmanoff touched him up for a 3-run bomb in the Citizen's Bank Bandbox....and then Heath Bell came on for his seventh save in 12 games. But make no mistake about when the defining moment of the game occurred: with Gerut at 2B and zero out in the 9th, David Eckstein came to the plate, and did what winners do.....put the ball in play....hit it hard.....and hit it to the right side of the diamond to advance the runner. Gerut would tie the game one hitter later when Brian Giles grounded to Ryan Howard.

Do you remember Opening Day against the Dodgers? Everyone was overjoyed with the Eckstein bunt in the 1st which would help cut the Dodger lead in half. Now we have the 9th inning ground out against Brad Lidge. Jody Gerut would have died at 2B in '08.....ya gotta love the little things!

Padres pound Lidge, top Phils [philly.com]

What a blast! Padres rally again to sink Phillies 8-5 [San Diego UT]

(Just saw the ESPN highlights.....showed the Gerut Double and the Giles ground out but nothing in between. It's alright Eck! We got your back!)

Harry Kalas and a game 1 win in Philly

Make that all "Phans" everywhere, Eric

We were curious whether or not the Philadelphia papers would be chastising their team for losing to the "lowly" team from San Diego.....they weren't.....the night in Philadelphia was more about the passing of announcer Harry Kalas. Whether it was hearing Kalas' voice on NFL Films or This Week In Baseball it was always a treat....what a great voice. Sounds like he was a pretty great guy too.

-Phils honor Kalas but lose game [philly.com]
-Harry Kalas Dies [philly.com].....linked stories
-Phillies fans honor broadcaster Kalas [San Diego UT]

In searching for disparaging remarks about "our Boys" we did find a funny headline regarding a Phillies prospect:

Prospect Bastardo adds to Phillies' bounty of left handers

...and how do you call someone a bastard in Spanish? We believe this is a prime example of a Spanish cognate........well he's made it this far so continued good luck Antonio.

Editor's note:
What a great win tonight! Down 7-1 to a powerful Phillies line-up only to battle back and TAKE the victory. Awesome! We love the emotion exhibited......the fist pumping and chest bumping after the Headly assist at home in the 8th......the Heath Bell fire on the mound after his 6th save. Good stuff guys...keep at it!

An Odyssey Yields Riches

We haven't properly hated on the New England Patriots in a while so enjoy the following, courtesy of Sports Illustrated.com:

It's the Grinch's birthday. Happy B-Day you s.o.b.!
Editor's Note: (Friday 7:00AM)
Don't know EXACTLY how Twitter Works but apparently our site is on the Twitter page for "Patriot News".....which is fairly funny.....we thinks:

Yes Patriot Fans....Click the link to find that it's Belichick's Birthday.....and that we hate you!

Oh, the things you come across when you're searching for a picture of the idiot Mets fan who interfered with a ball in play and cost his team a run...we thank you on multiple levels....a Padre win and an opportunity to see what an NFL Draft for Cheerleaders would look like....

Cheerleader Draft 2009
[Jock and Balls]

....and then, one link beget another link, and just like the six degrees of Kevin Bacon we were directed to the happiest place on earth.

Eckstein's Poll and the Ubiquitous #42

I'm not sure if this UT poll speaks to Padre indifference (only 956 votes cast) or spiking illiteracy rates amongst Americans......but boy I couldn't agree more with the consensus choice for most impressive FNG. David Eckstein brings his lunch pail to work each day and as a fan that's something I can hang my hat on (hopefully the mix of metaphors does not obscure my Eckstein endorsement).

Editor's Note:
That #42 sure was everywhere on Wednesday night. Here's something I get but don't get.....the Mets exist because the Brooklyn Dodgers opted to relocate to LA rather than move to Flushing NY.....but why are the Mets honoring Jackie Robinson with a Rotunda named after him? He was never a part of the Met organization? Shouldn't the Dodgers have exclusive rights to using his name......awww......screw the Dodgers!

Did you notice the funny hat worn by Adrian Gonzalez while in NY? Yes, the ear warmer piece! You're not the only one to take note...
Adrian Gonzalez's Inexcusably Ridiculous Cap Accessory
[The Legend of Cecilio Guante]

The good AIC served as content editor for Cecilio's Scribe on this little Citi Field report......Keep bloggin' Scribe....just don't dismiss Adrian, he's about all we got!

One Last Observation on Citi Field

My final rumination on the opening of Citi Field. The first three things I caught prior to the start of Monday afternoon's game, in quick rapid fire succession, were: Mike Piazza, Donald Trump's wife, and Mayor Bloomberg.

Read Caption Like A Robot, Please
I...am...ridiculously...good....looking...and.... love....comb....overs....

Now I saw Bloomberg catch a foul ball behind the plate and magnanimously pass it off to a nearby youth commoner (although if the kid was sitting in those seats on Opening Night his parents probably could have coughed up more than enough dough to secure for him an audience with David Wright directly after he had hit his game tying 3-run bomb.....social commentary digression, my apologies) but throughout the game I kept going back to Piazza.....and how he just looked.... creepy. Was he wearing make-up? Was he wearing more than Trump's wife?

Hey I like Piazza--he had a good season with us (or was it 2?). I also happened to be at the game where he hit some HR of importance (300th maybe?). I'm just saying that he had an odd sheen to his forehead and face and had it not been for the jolt of Gerut's HR I may have given it even more thought (no I'm not gay like Mike Piazza might be).

So it goes: while Tom Seaver was pitching and Mike Piazza was catching (certainly no pun intended) a woman on the other side of the country prepared to Dance with the Stars....

For one proud Met fan's reaction to Citi's opening.....
Opening night at Citi pretty much par for the course
[The Legend of Cecilio Guante]

Citi Field: Padres get all the 'firsts'

Some quick observations on the Padres 6-5 victory at new Citi Field:

• Jody Gerut: Good on ya Mate! Let us count the FIRSTS: Hit:Run:HR:RBI. Way to take the crowd out of it early!

• Wait a minute! Why are these JAGS so happy and High-Fivey!? That ball should have been fired right back on to the field....shouldn't it have been?
• The Friars have only played 8 games so let's not carried away with the accolades....but there's something going on here....and regardless of where we are at the 24/48/96 game marks, I think it's good.
• David Eckstein...he reached base four times on three hits and called a balk before even the umpire but that's not what stood out to me. It was his ten pitch AB where his walk was followed by a .......dead sprint to 1B! You just don't see that too often and when it comes from a two time World Series winner I think it brings two things to the table:
• Fire and inspiration.
• A much needed professional example.
  
• Walter Silva will continue to struggle to make it to the 6th...that may be OK though with Correia and Hill looking good. Here's to Jake and CY staying healthy!
• Jody Gerut/Scott Hairston monster could be powerful. I think Gerut needs to get the majority of the starts though. Situations permitting, Hairston can make a nice impact. Way to Christen Citi Field JG!
• Heath Bell got his wish: The 1st save in the new ball yard. Hoffy brought leadership and professionalism to pens past but HB is bringing fire and brimstone! I like it....what about you?
• The Mets arm patch is just really bad and Channel 4's Mark Grant astutely pointed noted, "....looks like a Domino's Pizza logo. You want bread sticks with that?" Could Mudcat Grant and I have been the only ones with the same thought? Research finds:
  

• Stephen Colbert thought the same thing back in January during his Tip 'o the hat/Wag of the finger Segment. Enjoy premium satire here: Click
  

For More Met Logo Bashing:
Mets inaugural Citi Field patch getting ripped on the web
[NJ.com]

Who's watching, watching....?

…The 2009 Padres?
(Editor's Note: As reported to the AIC by one member of the Collective)
With much fan-fare but low expectations, the Pads took the field for opening week led by hometown hero Adrian Gonzales and returning ace Jake Peavy (but for how long?). Following an opening day loss, the fellas rallied to a series push against our division rival: the LA Cholos…err, Dodgers. The boys then followed it up with a sweep of the San Francisco baseball Giants to finish opening week not only with a winning record, but atop the competitive NL West (Editor's Note: competitive??? Competitive=euphemism for mediocre?).

I had the opportunity and the pleasure to attend Saturday night’s game, and what a game it was. (actually I had the opportunity to go to 4 games this week, but even with the 5 dollar meal-deal, 4 games is too much for this rank-and-file avenger to handle…waiting for Uncle Sam to subsidize my entertainment needs! Baseball’s too big to Fail!...but I digress…). Needless to say, it was definitely in the top 4 Padres games I’ve ever been to, which read as follows, in descending order:

• 4- 1999 “Meet the Mrs.... get kicked out” (falling from 1 to 4 due to the course of history)
• 3- 2006 “JD Drew eviscerated by the AIC” (he’s much better than Doug Mirabelli you know)
• 2- 2009 “Read the Blog to find out why” (check out my balls)
• 1- 2006 “Seats on the 1st base wall/Irish fan heckles the Ump”
  

(Editor's Note: Who the fuck does things in a "Top 4" format? JD Drew and Doug Mirabelli are useless cunts and deserved the lashing they received. I'm glad that I factor in to two of your top 4 life experiences......it could have been 3/4 if you had invited me on Saturday.....thanks Dick!)

Saturday’s game was a fast-paced one, taking only a little over 2 hours to complete, but it had a little bit of everything:

• Great pitching (8 2/3 from Jake)
• Clutch hitting (a rarity in San Diego)
• Some great defensive plays by Hairston and Giles-aka Jake the Mus…(keep yer hands in yer pockets Brian) (Editor's note: An excellent reference to Once Were Warriors: Go to You Tube)
  
• Three home runs including 2 by Senor Blanco
• A Win...most important of all.
  

The overriding factor that made this my all-time #2 Padres game though was not any of the above aspects of the game, nor was it the fact that the tickets were a gift from a friend, not even finding free parking on the street.....it was this ‘lil guy....

From having no balls to one.....you gotta start somewhere

.....who somehow found his way from Jake’s hand, rifled off the bat of third basemen Pablo Sandoval, rocketed over our heads, caromed off of a railing and into my outstretched hand. What a thrill! I felt like I was 12 again! Not even finding the free parking was a better feeling! Baseball’s back, and I’ll be back to see it live to be sure, let’s hope the Pads can keep on exceeding expectations. See ya at the park!

The Mad Italian (aka: The Ghost of Sid Going)
“Taller than Joe Morris, Dirtier than McConkey’s Mustache”

With Lincicum defeated...the world is next!

Yea, we're in 1st place. True, seven games is not much of a sample size.....but we're in 1st place!
Let's enjoy the fellas having played some pretty good ball this week and having knocked off the NL's 2008 Cy Young winner.
Padres weak? Not during the season's opening week
[San Diego UT-Chris Jenkins]

Next stop Citi Field: New home of the Mets. An interesting test will be provided with this being the 1st road series and our 3rd, 4th, and 5th starters (still working on names) getting the nod against a pricey Mets squad. Need some Citi Field info? Click Here for some of the Park's features as well as the naming rights controversy.

With Citigroup Inc. paying $20 million a year for naming rights and having received in excess of $45 million in federal bailout money (your tax dollars) this new ballpark truly does belong to all of us......does that make it a home game?

Heath Bell is also excited to be visiting his former team in NY.....he wants the 1st save at Citi Field....Heath has big balls. Let's see him back it up.
Citi Field's debut has Bell buzzing
[San Diego UT-Chris Jenkins]

A message brought to you from Charger Girl: Don't forget the 2009 NFL schedule is released on Tuesday......Cleveland, Tennessee, or Pitt, Fellas?
To quote the dude from Snatch with the giant spectacles:

"Goody fuckin' gum drops!". Be sure to read that with a Limey accent.

This is the End of the week. Good Night, now.

I dare you to extrapolate...

81-81....I did the extrapolation for you...read & listen on Friar Faithful (do I sound hypocritical?)


Gonzalez sparks rally in 8th, Bell shuts door in 9th
[SD Union-Tribune]


Dodgers falter at the finish against Padres
[LA Times]
Enjoy both SD & LA perspectives on the Padres' get-away-day victory thus earning the four game split. It never hurts to Beat LA...

Jeff Moorad is soliciting your advice on moving in the fences at The Bark Park.....maybe he'll consider a park renaming ceremony as well.
[XX1090 with Scott & BR]

I don't buy Heath Bell's closing song: Blow me away by Breaking Benjamin

Perhaps it was too obvious to go with: For whom the bell tolls by Metallica.....but it's obvious for a reason: IT'S PERFECT!!!

I suppose as long as Heath "Wii" Bell keeps saving games it really doesn't matter does it? But it would have been cool to hear those bells and Cliff Burton's bass, no?

159 Mas...am I really going to do this?

Dodgers 5 Padres 2

Game 3 Observations:

• Manny's hair is beyond comment

• David Eckstein had an awesome 10 pitch at-bat in the 1st. The talk of game 1 was DE's sac bunt in the 1st. These seem like trivial things to get excited over...so I won't. But they are pleasant things to see and hopefully represent a sea change.

• Walter Silva was lucky to give up only 2 runs. We're in trouble with him as our #3.

• In addition to speed, Evereth Cabrera has a hose.

• Kouz needs to show up in April or it'll be a hell of a hole we're diggin' ourselves out of.

• Mujica and De la Cruz had live looking arms....so we've got that goin' for the pen.

• Steve Quis asked Manny stupid questions during the Postgame. How dare you accuse Manny of having been in a "funk".

• Baseball is hard to blog....too quick a turn around time between games so here's my Opening Day part II....

I really should skip the remainder of Peavy's starts...this decade.

I missed all of the pregame festivities. My cheap ticket was nullified by the pregame bar tab. I too was excited to see a bunt in the first-curse thy moneyball of '08. The Padres have lost 9 consecutive games I have attended including the sweep in the Bronx last June. Jake Peavy has lost the previous 5 times I've seen him pitch. San Diego should be embarrassed by the shear number of LA caps in the stands and the pathetic absence of SD caps. Is it any wonder San Diego is labeled as a joke of a sports town. One man's opinion.

Editor's Note:
Sure the team isn't going to be great...err...good this season. And I would have encouraged people to stay home had we not seen a change in the status quo....but with Moorad on board and the number of price accommodations we've seen thus far...well I think it is a reasonable olive branch until things get turned around. I can wait until the draft before I begin to organize boycotts.

In summation: 5 for$5 is awesome and Dodger fans are far too plentiful (droves of Dickies in The Bark on Monday)

Donnie Baseball in LA

When I say I hate the Yankees people laugh and threaten that they can produce a picture of me wearing a Yankees Starter jacket. It's all very true.

I grew up with Don Mattingly as my my baseball idol.....and I hate George Steinbrenner for not having delivered a World Series ring to ol' Donnie Baseball.

Now in my old age I have come to hate the Yanks for more analytical reasons.....they swept the Padres in '98 and they are upsetting the current economic balance of the free world....and of course I hate Tino Martinez for replacing Don Mattingly and then rocking Mark Langston in Game 1 of the '98 Series when we all know it should have been a called third strike on the previous pitch. I'm over it.

Today, Don Mattingly is the hitting coach for the Los Angeles Dodgers and he joined Darren Smith yesterday afternoon. It put a smile on my face despite his current association with that miserable team from up the I5...

Don Mattingly with Darren Smith
[XX1090-Audio]

...and I do have gray #23 hanging in the closet. I really should try to get it signed since he makes frequent visits with those Douchey Dodgers.

Beat LA...Beat LA...Beat LA....

We did.

Enjoy this headline from the Los Angeles Times and think of all the royal blue wearing Royal A-holes who have cluttered up our park the last two days...

We only have ourselves to blame San Diego......only you can prevent the 2009 Invasion of A-holes.

2009 Opening Day Part I

Sean M. Haffey/Union-Tribune
Dodgers 4 Padres 1

After the Padres hosted opening day at The Bark Park..... a game in which attendance records were set (45,496) thanks to The Park in the Park busting at the seams with cheap Dodger Fans.... a game in which we saw our Ace give up 4 runs and our "offensive" case of anemia carry over from 2008.... this fan visited his parents, put the game in the past, and watched women dance.

....and then receive judgement. Is this the sort of season we're in for (talking about Padres not DWTS)?