Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Mailbag: Questionable Questions...Suspect Answers

The following email came from a litigious Avenger in the city of Angels:

Dear Avenger-In-Chief

Go Bolts! I guess this is the dream situation—or at least the best dream that could’ve come out of this dismal season…

But I’ve been wondering—and I haven’t heard anything up here so I was wondering if they’re talking about it down there—if the Chargers lose to the Broncos, would they still have been the division champs if they had won the first match up? If so, doesn’t that mean that Ed Hochuli would have cost the city of San Diego the playoff money that would’ve come from a postseason? Not to mention the bonuses the players would have received?

-Sword Wielding Avenger in An-ga-leez


Chuck Norris my Ass!...Ed Hochuli is the one who inspires fear.

To which we offered the following assessment:

Thank you for the question, S.W. Avenger in Angaleez.

If we had won the first match-up we'd be 8-7 and they would be 7-8. If they then beat us we would be leveled at 8-8 with the H2H split. We would have won the next tie break which is best division record.

So we are in a position to lose out on playoff money if we lose this weekend...which of course would be due to Ed's negligence...so we have cause if we do the UNTHINKABLE and blow it this weekend! Perhaps Ed's firm can represent us?

Not my area of expertise, so I shall seek additional legal counsel....

We decided to go to our Greater Great Lakes Area Expert On Jurisprudence. He is not barred in California or Colorado but his legal acumen is always spot on. In some circles he's known as "Eye Patch" and others he's just "Your Boy Blue"....in either case, don't let the nickname discourage you from believing in his ability to represent HateThePatriots....


I, Benicio Del Toro,as Dr. Gonzo will serve as the graphic representation of this site's Legal Team

......you should probably be more worried that our barrister in any way resembles that of Hunter S. Thompson's personal lawyer. We will assuage your reservation by noting that he eschews psychedelic drugs for cases of Miller High Life........we are comfortable and accepting of that vice.

Chief,

At first blush it does not seem as though the City of San Diego could sue Ed Hochuli personally. They would have to sue the NFL, the organization he works for, because his actions were a part of his duty for the NFL. Although, if it were discovered that Ed had placed a bet in Vegas on said game, then this would expose him to personal liability because this would be seen as reason and motive outside the scope of his job for his blunder.

Another wrinkle is it may have to be the San Diego Chargers who must sue, because it is them, not the City that have a contractual relationship with the NFL. (Although the City could join the suit, if it owns Jack Murphy Stadium (n/k/a Qualcom, which I think they do). If San Diego wins its suit it can claim damages to those who were foreseeable victims, i.e. City of San Diego, J. Murphy Stadium, Avenger-in-Chief and Cronies (in their roles as fans, crazy persons, SARS members, and most importantly tailgaters).

Sincerely ,

Your Boy Blue

In-House Counsel for Pats Haters


We hope that this in some way answers your question, S.W. Avenger in Angaleez. It should be noted for the record, however, that all merits for the case will go out the window when we make The Little Hillbilly cry on Sunday evening. We'll have no cause upon conclusion of the final regular season game of 2008. It is always wise to have a contingency plan and we are thankful that you have brought it to our attention.


My hair's like the weather in San Diego....Sweet! And I'm better than John Elway.

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