Photos:Matthew West (Boston Herald)
The Masshole's name is Todd Kobus and he's from a place called Attleboro, Mass. We only know it to be a breeding ground for Massholes...the kind that like to "hug" 250 lb Samoans. According to his attorney he only wanted a hug.
HateThePatriots also obtained an audio transcript of Kobus addressing the judge during his arraignment:
Kobus: Yaw Honuh....I am an Iraq Wah veteran and I wahd nevuh do something to disgrace the Unifahm of this fine cahntry. I've always been a Patriot! Whethuh I was tawchin a hawstile village or rootin on my team to Faw Supah Bowl victories...that's right Yaw Honuh, I'm countin' the 16-0 regulah season of '07 cuz Gawd knows we shoulda won it. My point is that I'm a Patriot.
Now I'd like to be released becawwz I've done my time as it puhtains to the Gawd Awful numbuh of times I've been called a homo or queeuh due to said Huggin incident. Queeuh? To the fackin' cawn-tra-e! The fackin' truth is that i needed to get to Juni-uh to tell him that I fackin love him, in the least homo way pawssible, and that I am fackin unbelievably happy that Gawd (Belichick) brawt him back frahhm all those homos and queeuhs in Cali----specifically those powdah blue wearin' queeuhs who suppawt the Cha-juhhs. In summation Yaw Honuh...The hug was fah the respect I have fah Juni-uh Seau and I am NAWT as QUEEUH as a GAWD DAMN three dollah bill.
Judge: This is a court of law. I would hold you in contempt if I didn't think you were retarded.
Kobus: Yaw Honuh...as Gawd as my witness, I am NAWT RETAH-DED, NAW am I Gay-uh than a fackin' Christmas tree! Unfahr-tunately...I pah-took in too many Lah-guhs. Fah too many.
This nonsense goes on and on and we started to feel as though the Almost Masshole of the Week was being awarded for the wrong reasons. Sure this guy is a Masshole but would we really benefit in any way from Junior getting taken out? Do we just have a grudge against the menu at Seau's the restaurant? These are questions to ponder......for now, Todd Kobus is The Almost Masshole of the Week!
HateThePatriots also obtained an audio transcript of Kobus addressing the judge during his arraignment:
Kobus: Yaw Honuh....I am an Iraq Wah veteran and I wahd nevuh do something to disgrace the Unifahm of this fine cahntry. I've always been a Patriot! Whethuh I was tawchin a hawstile village or rootin on my team to Faw Supah Bowl victories...that's right Yaw Honuh, I'm countin' the 16-0 regulah season of '07 cuz Gawd knows we shoulda won it. My point is that I'm a Patriot.
Now I'd like to be released becawwz I've done my time as it puhtains to the Gawd Awful numbuh of times I've been called a homo or queeuh due to said Huggin incident. Queeuh? To the fackin' cawn-tra-e! The fackin' truth is that i needed to get to Juni-uh to tell him that I fackin love him, in the least homo way pawssible, and that I am fackin unbelievably happy that Gawd (Belichick) brawt him back frahhm all those homos and queeuhs in Cali----specifically those powdah blue wearin' queeuhs who suppawt the Cha-juhhs. In summation Yaw Honuh...The hug was fah the respect I have fah Juni-uh Seau and I am NAWT as QUEEUH as a GAWD DAMN three dollah bill.
Judge: This is a court of law. I would hold you in contempt if I didn't think you were retarded.
Kobus: Yaw Honuh...as Gawd as my witness, I am NAWT RETAH-DED, NAW am I Gay-uh than a fackin' Christmas tree! Unfahr-tunately...I pah-took in too many Lah-guhs. Fah too many.
This nonsense goes on and on and we started to feel as though the Almost Masshole of the Week was being awarded for the wrong reasons. Sure this guy is a Masshole but would we really benefit in any way from Junior getting taken out? Do we just have a grudge against the menu at Seau's the restaurant? These are questions to ponder......for now, Todd Kobus is The Almost Masshole of the Week!
The only thing worth ordering...Holy shit did the price go up on that! Mama?
1 comment:
I once hugged Junior.. I got the Herpes....
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