Thursday, October 9, 2008

Dan Shaughnessy: "You Suck San Diego!"


I'm wicked bloated.....and red faced as all fockin' hell. Too many Irish Cahh Bahmbs after the clinchuh against those fruitcakes from Anaheim...or Los Angeles...where evuh.

I usually covuh the Red Saux but since we're playin' those queeuhs from San Diego this week I thought I'd recycle some old material from my best selling book
, The Curse of the Bambino, to accurately convey what I, along with my fellow New Englanduhs, think of anything related to those powduh blue wearin' homos.

Allow me to quote myself, from my Pulitzuh award winning masterpiece of prose:

...ehem...ehem....


"Red Sox Fans care. That's what makes the Baseball saga irresistible and eternal. Other professional ball clubs fail to win championships, although none has teased like Boston's Olde Towne Team. There's nothing special about the annual flops of the Seattle Mariners and the San Diego Padres, because there is no baseball tradition in those towns and because nobody really cares. It's different with Boston and the Red Sox."


HTP: Hey....We thought that....

DS: Shut up queeuh! I'd be remiss if I did not also mention the following...ehem...

" New England was the first area of America that was truly "finished," so it follows that the oldest game should have the most appeal in this region. In Texas it's established that the only two sports are football and spring football.......and folks in California simply gravitate toward whichever team is currently winning."

HTP: Cut off that shanty Irishman's Aquafina and get him out of here!

Sorry folks we were led to believe that Mr. Shaughnessy was going to be doing a dissertation on the blogosphere, the decreased circulation of dailies and how hack writers, like HATETHEPATRIOTS, mutilate the English language on an hourly basis. We thought we might learn something, a writer's workshop of sorts, and then....booyahh.....ambushed by an Elitist writer from the Boston Globe!

The opinion of east coast writers, major sports networks and fans alike......You Suck San Diego! You're a Joke! (Don't Shoot the messenger because you don't like the message)

On October 12th at 5:15 pm you'll see a 70,000 strong frenzy of Avengers.....who are no joke! The calamity that was perpetrated by some New England Patriot players at the center of Jack Murphy Field on January 14th, 2007 will be avenged...in no uncertain terms.....it must be avenged.

addendum:

Regarding the most recent Adam "Pac Man" Jones incident we must weigh-in.......we weigh 245lbs (beefy) and it's only going to increase after we slit Bill B's throat Sunday morning and mao pig all day long in Section P3.....oh yah, PacMan's an idiot!

Chef
..... could you bring the EVACUATION Powder mix for the following week...please.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Well said.