Monday, October 6, 2008

I am Jack's Smirking Revenge


It was on the tip of every one's tongue. Tyler and I just gave it a name.

"I've seen Fight Club the strongest & smartest men who've ever lived....
....I see all this potential....
....& I see it squandered.

God damn it! An entire generation pumping gas & waiting tables. Slaves with white collars.
Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes...working jobs we hate...so we can buy shit we don't need.

We're the middle children of history...
no purpose or place...
We have no Great War...no Great Depression..
Our Great War is a spiritual war...Our Great Depression is our lives.

We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars...but we won't...and we're slowly realizing that fact...and we're very, very pissed off."

The first rule of Hating the Patriots is.....

Tyler Durden's soliloquy leaves us with only one concern....what is our homework assignment?

We must do our best to rile our faux-Patriot opponent by throwing more logs on to the fire of this burgeoning rivalry. We want you to start a fight:
  • Go to the Boston Globe's Patriot Forum, get a user name, and begin to agitate.
  • Go to the Patriot's Website Fan Forum, get a user name, and incite with all of the thunder & lightning you can muster.
  • Go to Longboard's and demand that they stop pandering to New Englanders (They allow people to post all sorts of disparaging things about San Diego. Where do we live?)
You will do this and it will be the most liberating day of your life. You will appreciate everything more: while drinking your coffee you will actually take notice of the impending sunrise. You will be truly alive for the first time. Why? Because with impunity and no chance of retribution you will destroy the morale of Patriot fan. They are excited about their winning Redsox and their rebounding Patriots, and it is beautiful....you will destroy something beautiful with a wicked quickness.

What you will become is a troll....the most reviled thing someone can do while posting. It is jumping on to the opposition's site and, with purpose, derailing their conversation threads. Each will plea with fellow posters to ignore your comments.....but it simply cannot be done! They will not be able to resist any cheap shot at San Diego...and your objective will be achieved.

That is your homework, Patriot Haters. Charge after it....

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

What you are doing is making the Patriots look even better than they are.

How many teams get this kind of hate? The answer is only the greatest of the great.

You are doing the Patriots a favor with this blog. You have given them a badge of honor.

Anonymous said...

Also, you need to get a life...

AvengingJM said...

In response to both anonymous readers:

1. The Patriots and their fans have no HONOR!!

2.We're not ready to get a life.

Anonymous said...

Why would any team think that hiring Norv Turner - who never won anywhere was a good idea? At least Schottenheimer's teams looked ok until the playoffs. Or was hiring Norv HONOR-able?

I will take my evil genius and the associated baggage any day.

Also tt was fantastic for the Red Sox to humiliate a Southern California team yet again - following the Celtics plastering of the over-hyped Lakers and of course the Patriots annual playoff drubbing of the Chargers.

AvengingJM said...

Our GM hated Marty and installed someone who created the offensive system. It was pragmatic not HONOR-able. We would take the Evil Genius as well (I would anyway).

Don't care about the Lakers and Kobe. LA is another state...but we're sure you've been following the Celtics very closely since Bird retired.

Too bad about the Angels. Good series. Won't pretend to be a follower of The The Angels Angels of Anaheim. We enjoy pain down here and follow the Padres..you know us...we built your Saux front office.

Hate the Dodgers but it would be funny to see the Sox lose to Manny the sandbaggin son of a bitch.

Please return and own your loss or gloat, if we are to be so unfortunate.