When watching a Dolphin kick returner needlessly run out of bounds on Sunday we cursed him with the 5-letter "P" word (we promised not to use the 4-letter "C" word) and were immediately castigated for it by the Missus. We decided that code must be used so we amended previous epithet to read--"You Gaping 'V'!" ( we won't spell this out as our assumption is that you are not a moron...are you?).
Our consternation for those who chose to casually run out of bounds to avoid contact has its roots in 1980s running back lore. Youngsters who were on their way to cultivating mullets eagerly cheered for Walter Payton and Earl Campbell and their courtship of contact but were routinely disappointed by the occasional back who would seek refuge on the sideline:
Eric Dickerson.....The Original Gaping V_ _ _ _ _! Is that irony, with the last name and all? Anyway....in addition to rec specs, a neck brace, and a 2000 yard season among other attributes and accomplishments we most remember Eric Dickerson for running out of bounds...
The Original "Gaping V"
The inaugural Gaping V goes to Dolphins Kick returner Jordy Nelson:
Stay in bounds Pussy or we'll slap you with another Gaping V! We are generally consumed with Charger game so we will rely on YOU the reader to contact us with future submissions for any Sunday infraction you feel warrants this Major Award.
Dear Denver Donkeys:
Thank you for sucking!
Sincerely,
Us
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