Time Warner Cable Must Be Dismantled

We began writing this after the debacle in London and as much as it was supposed to be a catharsis for a season quickly slipping away it was also a critique of our HORRIBLE neighborhood cable company....TIME WARNER! It seemed apropos to revisit the topic when an NFL game was played this evening and those with TIME WARNER CABLE couldn't watch because TWC FAILS to carry the NFL Network. WE WANTED TO SEE THE DONKEYS LOSE (rolling around on ground, pounding fists..a tantrum)!

To paraphrase THE JESUS...."That's bush league bullshit...laughable!"

It's fucking 2008--how the hell do we not have access to an NFL football game. Those bastards at TIME WARNER are lucky a Direct TV dish can't properly access all of the satellites from my house....this family would have already been gone!

LET'S GET ACTIVE AND BURY THAT COMPANY!
PRESSURE FROM THE PEOPLE....contact:
Time Warner Cable-click here....

Anyway, in addition to not being able to see the game we had a horrible odyssey for the London game and TWC had a role to play in that one too...continue reading for old news....

OCTOBER 26th, 2008 A.D.
Where were you when the season hung in the balance and the Chargers played the Saints in London?

Now that we have pointed our angst at the Chargers Coaching, Defensive Personnel and one Special Teams Moron......and made perhaps one too many Rugby references (It is London, Whaddya Expect?)......and of course alienated any women and sensitive male readers by using the "C" word too frequently.....Oh the word was C&$T, in case you didn't read yesterday.....America isn't ready for that word so we'll stop saying it....

.....we must now recount the Odyssey that was our viewing experience. At the conclusion of our Odyssey there will be a special comment on the scheduling of ceremonial events such as weddings and birthday parties during the football season as well as during the World Series.

So it began...

• Saturday 9:00pm 10/25/08
• Frown. Lament the fact that we will be forced to DVR game due to a morning birthday party.
• Saturday 9:01pm
  
• Smile. DVR is set. It will be an historic attempt at watching an NFL game delayed without finding out any updates or ultimate results.
• Sunday 3:30am 10/26/08
• Yawn. Feed baby "A" and rejoice at minimal traces of diarrhea. Seedy, Mustard-like, but solidifying.
• Sunday 8:30am
  
• Gear up for Charger Report on Chanel 8. Why? We ,oddly enough, enjoy the torture of exciting analysis followed by the waiting game.....to begin watching game just as its actually ending...sick!
• Sunday 9:01am
• Smirk. Can't believe I'll have to buy a Saints shirt and wear it to work on Monday if the Bolts lose...whatever, not gonna happen...it's in the bag!
• (I'm an Idiot)
  

• Sunday 9:45
• Pant. Rolling around at a Kid's gym is fun....getting tired....kickoff around the corner.
• Sunday 10:49am
• Worry. We've yet to hear an update, surprisingly, as parents arrive to party with little terrors in tow, decked out in Charger gear.
• Sunday 11:00am
• Departure. Nap time for baby "E".
• Sunday 11:42am
• Appeasement. Cleaning for prospective home buyer....and to make wife like me (see: I'd prefer that she not kill me because I'm lounging while she cleans).
• Sunday 11:50am
• Anxiety. Wife starts game from recording list. I'm hiding to avoid any spoilers. Mission accomplished.
• Sunday 11:51am-1:03pm
• This is cool. No commercials. Gates catches TD to pull us close before halftime. Door bell rings.
• Sunday 1:04pm
• Prospective buyer. Gleam in his eye...lips begin to move....I blurt out that I haven't seen the game and don't know the outcome. We race out and kids and I play a game of "la,la,la,la,la,la" all the way to the car to block out any potential spoilers. Wearing PRivers jersey and it begs for someone to comment with how "Great they look or how horrible the Bolts are on the road." We have avoided catastrophe.
• Sunday 1:45pm
• Return with Subway. No Clues. All good.
• Sunday 2:42pm
• Chargers are staging a comeback. It is 30-37....we like our chances....can't believe we have watched a game on tape delay....
• Sunday 2:43pm
• DVR ends......the allotted time for the Game was 3hrs. Even though there is 9 minutes left Time Warner Cable has FU&#&D us, those miserable CU#%S! They are so lucky Direct TV can't pick up a signal from our house...CURSES!!!!!!!!!
• Sunday 2:45
• Cursing Continues....lap top is open....we lost again? What to say....

Another game frittered away. We have no defense. Why can't Time Warner's DVR record an entire program? Why are there always glitches in Time Warner's recordings? TWC sucks!

......And here we are back in the present. We'll go ahead and wait on that little commentary regarding the scheduling of "special events" during football season...

Right now we have an uprising that needs tending to!