Saturday, January 31, 2009

Dear Patriot Tears #32

"NFL hosed the Pats again. Once the NFL switched the Jets game out of the 1pm time slot the Pats were done. The Jets (and their fans) knew they had no chance to make the playoffs by halftime due to the blowout in Baltimore. All three of those games should have been played at the same time. Favre is a stiff and a fraud. If he just retired this past offseason, Dolphins would have had 5 wins and Mangini would have led the Jets to the same 9-7 record."


Posted by K-man
December 28, 08 08:01 PM


Dear Patriot Tears,


That was kind of BS to switch the starting times of those games, and we also feel the need to shed a tear over this one. If the Pats would have won the AFC East we would have been assured of playing the Patriots during the 2009 regular season but we now get the Fins instead. We live for the opportunity to beat the Patriots and hear the sweet cries of New England fan but it wasn't to be........so we'll instead have to settle for a pretty nice consolation prize: the incessant moans of a team who was edged out of the 2008 playoffs. To the observant fan, Jet and Favre cries are always accompanied by those sirens we know as....the Pussycat Dolls. Enjoy...

Friday, January 30, 2009

The Bleacher Bums: On Your Drive Home

These are the guys that man the new afternoon drive time show (3pm-7pm) from Monday through Friday on XX1090. The Bleacher Bums are Earl and Jordan. We wanted to put out something with a little bit more detail, a commentary, but we'll hold off on it for the time being....

There's an important correction that needs to be made regarding the information Jordan was propagating this afternoon. Jordan was reading part of NFL.com's blog by Gil Brandt. Brandt met with Spanos and said the following...


Click picture to eliminate blur
Exactly what Gil Brandt said, regarding his meeting with Dean Spanos, is in the graphic above or you can click the link. This however, is not the quote which was attributed to Gil Brandt by Jordan. This is what Jordan was attributing to Gil Brandt....


The above is from Rotoworld.com. Jordan read the entire part in blue as being Brandt's quote and stirred up a mini controversy as to how fucked up the Charger's F.O. is and made a nice little segue into a Jim Rome interview where Rodney Harrison ranted and raved about how fucked up they are "out there" (Earl seemed to revel in SD being dissed so forcefully by the dirtiest player in the league).

Look at the writing in blue....only part of it has quotations around it....that means that someone at Rotoworld.com added some commentary to Brandt's blog.

That's a pretty big oversight.....which brings us to the following question:

How do you feel about the new XX1090 guys talking Chargers and Padres during your drive home?

Post your comments below...

Dear Patriot Tears #31

"Oh well if Jabar catches that ball in Indy, different story."

Posted by mike December 28, 08 07:53 PM


Dear Patriot Tears,

Speaking of different stories...if that 8-8 team out of San Diego doesn't crush you 30-10 then you really have no problem making it to the playoffs.

Also if Jabar Gafney doesn't make that great catch last season to beat the Ravens then you wouldn't have finished the 2007 regular season 16-0.....of course a loss may have taken the pressure off of your team and the Super Bowl may have had a different outcome....so Gafney has fucked you in consecutive seasons? Nice...

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Friar Ball: This Week's $9 Buck Cup of Misery

That's Khalil Green on the Jumbotron. His image is still plastered on the front of the Park as is the visage of the departed Trevor Hoffman. Why is Padre management dragging their feet on this?

How about this for a reason.....perhaps the team sale to Jeffrey Moorad will be finalized sooner than expected which could lead to the dismissal of certain individuals who would ordinarily be inclined to remove the ubiquitous posters of players past. That's what my sources say.

Also....Kouz will not be ready to start the season so Headley will anchor the corner.

What should new ownership do to get us into the park this season? $7 BEERS! NO!...$6.50!

"Say no!", to the $9 buck cup of Misery

Dear Patriot Tears #30



"Even until the end of the game after Favre had single handedly lost the game, Sims was still singing his praises....What is the media's deal with this guy? Was he not watching the same game? Most overrated athlete in sports."


Posted by Favre is a fraud
December 28, 08 07:52 PM

Dear Patriot Tears,

Great screen name. We'll agree with Brett Favre being overrated and then thank you for continuing to cry about how he cost you a playoff spot and how your 30-10 loss to the Chargers had nothing to do with it. Jets...Favre...Pussycat Dolls...a winning combination-well at least the Pussycat Dolls are.


Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Dear Patriot Tears #29


"Brett Farve sucks. Always has, except for his first year in 87 when he beat the pats. He's not a gamer. He always throws interceptions in important games. He always tries to force the ball. He has no brain. No smarts for the game. He's not a "Wrangler" guy. He's a dickhead in real life. Why people have loved this guy is a complete mystery to me. I hope he never gets in the hall of fame. Brett is a loser forever and a disgrace to football. A disgrace to the Jets. A disgrace to the Green Bay Packers and a did I mention a dick head in real life? Stuck up ass."


Posted by TJ December 28, 08 07:48 PM

Dear Patriot Tears

Oh, where to begin, TJ:

  • Favre beat the Pats in the Superbowl XXXI....played in '97 not '87.
  • It was not Brett Favre's first season.
  • Merriam-Webster Definition of 'Gamer'--Someone who plays in spite of injuries.
  • "He's not a 'Wrangler' guy. He's a dickhead....." Doesn't wearing Wranglers make you a dickhead?
  • You'll be wasting your time hoping Favre misses out on the Hall of Fame....of course I hoped a lot during Christmas of '85 and a Skateboard miraculously showed up....heck, give it a go!
  • Yes. You did mention he was a dickhead in real life....
  • Did we mention that Jets/Favre tears = Pussycat Dolls?

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Anatomy of a Pissing Contest

What a shit storm. Below is a comprehensive list of links to stories regarding Chargers' General Manager AJ Smith and his public spat with LaDainian Tomlinson. The Country should not know that AJ Smith is San Diego's GM! I never knew that the GM of the Patriots was named Scott Pioli...didn't know it until his name made the news as a possible replacement in KC and he was ultimately hired. Pioli is the guy who built a dynasty in NE but nobody knew him....which is the way it should be.

Note to AJ Smith: General Managers should be seen and not heard.

There is a lot of info below. I would recommend listening to the XX1090 audio files. Jim Trotter is the former Charger UT Beat Writer and currently writes for Sports Illustrated. Kevin Acee is the current Charger UT Beat Writer. They are frequent visitors to Darren Smith's afternoon show on XX1090 and provide some good background. I think the most interesting aspect of this story is the XX1090 interview by Acee on January 22nd. He had the opportunity to give the context in which AJ gave his quote but he did not. He in no way disavowed the idea that AJ was "mocking" LT......but as the shit hit the fan.....he went ahead and published an article on 1/25 where he said there was "NO WAY" that AJ was mocking LT. So which is it I wondered....

The resulting storm that fans rained down on SD caused Owner Dean Spanos to REQUIRE AJ to apologize to LT. What does this mean? Who knows....

January 14, SI.Com, "Chargers handling L.T. like a journeyman, not a Hall of Famer", Jim Trotter.

January 17, Union Tribune, "Chargers ponder LT's fate", by Kevin Acee

January 21, Union Tribune, "Draft day homework is already well underway", by Kevin Acee.

January 22, Union Tribune, "Window of opportunity always open if you have a top QB" by Nick Canepa.

January 22, XX1090, Darren Smith interview with Kevin Acee.

January 22, XX1090, Darren Smith interview with Jim Trotter.

January 23, Yahoo Sports, "Time for Spanos to 'flex' on Smith", by Michael Silver.

January 23, The "WHTNEP" San Diego Sports Fan Collective, "AJ Smith: Front Runner for Douche of the year."

January 24, Union Tribune, "LT can resolve predicament by making a cut-in his pay", by Tim Sullivan.

January 25, Union Tribune, "Abrupt? Egotistical? Smith can be both. Bud did he mock LT? No." by Kevin Acee.

January 25, Union Tribune, "Tomlinson-Smith saga must stop now, Merriman says", by Kevin Acee

January 26, XX1090, Darren Smith interview with Kevin Acee.

January 26, Chargers.com, "AJ reaches out to LT".

January 26, Union Tribune, "Smith calls Tomlinson in effort to clear the Air", by Kevin Acee.

Viewpoint Out Of Donkey Land


As I sit here after an eventful day of rug-rats running around celebrating my son's birthday, and the snow begins to fall, I find myself deeply interested in the challenges that are being reported on this blog between LT and AJ.

I am somewhat/mostly removed from those type of updates and depend solely on this lovely blog to provide me that high level information I am not getting on a daily basis here in Donkey Land. Instead I am inundated with Donkey coaching changes and additions of people who I could care less to hear about, but do find humorous on occasion. Other than that, football is dead in Donkey land; all you can get updates on are the Avalanche (NHL) and the occasional Mammoth (indoor lacrosse) or Nuggets (NBA).

The most recent addition the new young man put in charge of the Donkeys for the next few years has selected to do is, keep it in the family. This is somewhat how the report went, on the local news a few days back. Josh McDaniels brings in younger brother as an offensive assistant, his previous experience is with an Ohio High School team where he held the QB Coach position.

"Yes from High school to the Broncos (with a major "nah-look" on his face)"

Take a look at this link to the local news on the hiring....

http://www.9news.com/sports/article.aspx?storyid=108240&catid=295

.....also do not hesitate to read the comments in link (hilarious)... some are right on, such as this one:

Josh: But Ben, do you really think you are ready for this type of leap?
Ben: Give me a chance bro. Do you remember when I coached the QB's at Massillon Jackson High School 4 years ago?...Jackson High School,

Hail to you.
Our days with you and our friends so true,
are the happiest days of our lives.
We'll sing this song to our athlete's strong,
to a team that never fails.
So in all we do be brave and true,
Jackson High School, Hail to you.

Josh: Yeah, I do, but that was 4 years ago. What have you been doing since?
Ben: I coached QB's at Canton McKinley HS just 2 years ago.
Josh: Oh, right! I forgot about that.
Ben: So, am I hired? I just really want to meet Nate Jackson.
Josh: Deal. How about I make you the assistant head football coach of the Denver Broncos. Sound good?
Ben: Perfect.

Comments like these from the "Bronco Faithful in Bronco Country" have me laughing, and though stuck in this snowy "paradise", I can not help but get a feeling of further confidence about how we will handle these Donkeys in the future, Ed Hochuli or not.

On another note that I am very unfamiliar with, and as stated look to you as my eyes and ears back in the homeland: AJ vs. LT.

It was not long ago when AJ arrived on the scene after the sudden death of John Butler. While making some good decisions during his time here as it pertains to deals and the draft, it sounds as though his health is beginning to fail him. Some would call it dementia, others may refer more to is as Alzheimer's. Regardless of how we choose to diagnose AJ's problems, he must be put in his place, and recognize he is a suit who sits in a box with a hair cut way to similar to Jimmy Johnson.

Jimmy Johnson!

From that vantage point he feels as though he can make comments about arguably the best tail back to play the game (after Walter). Was LT slower this year due to the toe etc... Of course he was, but I know all of you watched the last couple of regular season games, specifically the Denver game when LT was LT. I didn't notice a loss in speed during those games.

AJ you need to back off and keep your mouth shut. Your job is to make decisions on bringing in new talent and you should remove yourself from trying to stir the pot and even beginning to vaguely insinuate that you may be moving the player that puts fans in the stadium. LT gives us the best opportunity to put points/wins on the board and moving him is incomprehensible.... if you ask a Charger Fan in Donkey Land. Should it come down to AJ of LT I would expect Mr Spanos to make the right decision and let AJ know not let the door hit him on the way out. How dare you mock a future Hall of Famer and San Diego Legend.

That is how this
Charger Fan in Donkey Land sees it.

Dear Patriot Tears #28/Great Moments in Super Bowl History Edition

Dear Patriot Tears,

Yea, so the anniversary of this Super Bowl Loss was yesterday but we didn't want to pile on. It was a crappy game. Go Desmond Howard...

Monday, January 26, 2009

Additional Thoughts on Great Moments in Super Bowl History: SB XX


The Architects...Carried Off In Glory

Super Bowl XX was the last game I enjoyed as a resident of Chicago. A few weeks earlier my father had taken me to the Divisional Round playoff game versus LT and the New York Football Giants. It was windy...the Landetta Punt. It was cold...I'm missing three fingers below the second knuckle due to frostbite. Well that's not true but it was extremely cold. The Monsters of the Midway shut out Phil Simms and little Joe Morris 20-0.

Deep down inside I was frightened at the prospect of having to play the Dolphins and Dan Marino's 1985/'86 Perm. That thing was curly and boy could he sling the ball. We were 17-1 and getting ready for a Super Bowl which was sure to have, as its storyline: "Can the Bears avenge their only loss of the season?"


I couldn't imagine what a painfully long winter it would be knowing that we were at the brink of greatness but failed. Long winters become colder and darker when you ponder such things.

The Vengeance card would not be played. The Dolphins were miraculously upset by a Wild Card New England team that traveled to Miami, and in a torrential downpour, eked out a win.

I suppose as a little kid I was happy that our chances at winning a Super Bowl were exponentially increased by not having to face Dan Marino's perm. I mean what did I even know about the Patriots? They had two Quarterbacks: one from the University of Illinois and the other, a fossil who wore a neck brace. I knew who Craig James, Irving Fryar and Andre Tippett were....and I also knew there was no chance we would lose that game.

We quickly found ourselves down, 0-3, and we collectively shit ourselves. Then the power went out so we went ahead and pissed ourselves. Our parents were at a Super Bowl party which left us to call up a friend's mom so we could be transported to the other side of town where the power was still on. When we arrived north of the tracks the Bears were ahead and they never looked back. I remember being euphoric but a little upset at the Patriots scoring that final TD. 46-3 had been looking so majestic...




We moved shortly there after and I remained a Bear fan. My allegiance began to fade in the mid-nineties and I found myself in "fan purgatory".....not knowing who to root for.

Upon reflection, I not only keenly remember the fantastic feeling of being in a city with a Super Bowl Champ but I also find myself bitter. Bitter that the Bears did not have the opportunity to avenge their only defeat in 1985. We have the New England Patriots to blame for that...

Dear Patriot Tears #27/ Great Moments in Super Bowl History Edition


Dear Patriot Tears

On January 26th, 1986 The Monsters of the Midway defeated a cute little upstart team from Massachusetts 46-10. The game was not that close.



Sunday, January 25, 2009

Friends Look Out For Friends

Each one of us has a fanaticism for our respective team and it spans a most diverse Arc....you have your casual viewers and your Authentic Jersey Purchasers....there's those who comment on UT articles and sports blogs and those who queue up to say their piece on the radio....and let us not forget the face and body painters who I find myself guilty of sitting in judgement of from time to time.

I'd be remiss if I did not mention those who actually run their own blogs...those people are complete freaks!

We ALL give a crap to varying extents and none of us should judge one another as to the quirkiness of our fanaticism....unless you are this Giants fan below. The previous post provided a link to Kissing Suzy Kolber where the fan footage was initially found....it must be preserved for posterity here at The "WHTNEP" San Diego Sports Fan Collective...



Friends Look out For Friends so please kick me in the balls if you ever see ANYTHING close to that guy's behavior out of me. I in turn will kick you in the balls and give you a flying knee to the chin as you keel over in pain....

fanatic |fəˈnatik|
noun
a person filled with excessive and single-minded zeal, esp. for an extreme religious or political cause. See note at zealot .
• [often with adj. ] informal a person with an obsessive interest in and enthusiasm for something, esp. an activity : a fitness fanatic.
adjective [ attrib. ]
filled with or expressing excessive zeal : his fanatic energy.

DERIVATIVES

fanaticism |fəˈnatəˌsizəm| |fəˈnødəˈsɪzəm| |-tɪsɪz(ə)m| noun
fanaticize |fəˈnatəˌsīz| |fəˈnødəˈsaɪz| |-tɪsʌɪz| verb

ORIGIN mid 16th cent. (as an adjective): from French fanatique or Latin fanaticus ‘of a temple, inspired by a god,’ from fanum ‘temple.’ The adjective originally described behavior or speech that might result from possession by a god or demon, hence the earliest sense of the noun [a religious maniac] (mid 17th cent.).

Excessive fanaticism should be met with a swift kick in the nutz! Nothing better than a little perspective provided by one of the most viewed YouTube videos out there...

SD's Championship Drought


With all the LT/AJ drama of the last week...the report that the City is suing the Chargers for $170,000 dollars...... The City of Industry having received voter approval to begin building a New Stadium.....and finally San Diego being discussed as the team that could possibly relocate to LA...

Well I started thinking about my Charger acquaintances and how they are fairly quiet and pretty innocuous in their fan hood. But during such a week of tumult how could the silence remain so deafening?

I needed to send out a feeler.......a text message to the Ten People in my phone who were the biggest Charger Fans (Father, Brother, Friends) ....varying degrees of fan passion, no face/body painters amongst them, and it went like this:

You People are the sorriest excuse for Bolt fans EVER!
You're a Prison Sodomites' wet dream...
a quiet, passive cell mate who dare not make a peep.
Yer the reason this town never wins...
yer the reason they're moving 2 LA!
SUCK IT!

The first responses back should have been from the 1981 comedy, Stripes: "Lighten up, Francis" ....but it went like this..

Excuse Me?

My Bad

It's my son's b-day party today.
Told you
Sunday at the earliest.
No cell mate for me.


What the hell is that?

If u have time 2 respond twice u have time 2 go 2 da Blog
and express yoself on da
LT/AJ situation.
If u wait in
silence...we'll lose the team next...luv ya

My dedication is to my team not your blog...
and I don't have time I'm working!!
That was a
pretty fucked up text!!

And your blog set me back like $400

...couldn't tell ya how much the blog set me back
although it will be $200 less once "-_-_-_-_-_"

decides to pay me. Secondly...it's not my blog...
it's a public forum...
a place where your
happiness or displeasure can be put on record...
that of course is your prerogative. I have had discussions

w/a UT writer and the FireNorv site was discussed

by Madden n Michaels on MNF so...
the Power won't read our texts...


Call it what you want
all I'm sayin'
is I wouldn't even let
my brother say
shit like that to me

Lighten up, Francis.



Indeed, Sgt Hulka. Shouldn't "WE" (read:me) all lighten up and keep this thing called Football in perspective? After all, we'd hate to be SO consumed with football that we looked like this sorry SOB Giant fan...

...and a late text reply:
Go Cardinals!!!
We Love ya Shirles


Dear Patriot Tears #26


"Hell of a year ,thanks for the memories Great Job Men ! Hey you cant be that bummed out look at the big picture. the greatest sports city around bar nun ! GO BRUINS, CELTICS !!!!!!!"

Posted by m.mc. December 28, 08 07:47 PM


Dear Patriot Tears,

Yer the greatest city, blah, blah, blah.

FYI-When you posted this tear back on 12/28 the Celtics were coming off of a Christmas Day loss to the Los Angeles Lakers...we believe it was only the Celtics third loss of the year. How many losses do you have today (and were you following the Celts before the 2008 revival?)?

The Bruins haven't done a thing in years......but here they are in 1st place......and Boston's following them again.

You are a GREAT baseball city but bandwagon for the rest of the sports!

Do the Bruins have a dance squad?

Saturday, January 24, 2009

A Message From The Office of The President

First 100 Days: Action Item List
Close Guantanamo...Check

Close CIA Prisons......Check
Chastise AJ Smith.....Check

Dear Patriot Tears #25


"Brett, throw and pray, Favre, strikes again."

Posted by -nyys
December 28, 08 07:47 PM


Dear Patriot Tears,

More Favre.......wash away your tears with the lead singer of the Pussycat Dolls.

Remember, Patriot Fan....every time you cry about Favre and the Jets you get the Pussycat Dolls. Consoling aren't they?

Friday, January 23, 2009

AJ Smith: Front Runner for 2009 Douche of the Year

You can click both excerpts to view the entire articles from the Union Tribune but the meat is found below with intriguing comments by AJ Smith in Gold and a statement from LT's website in Blue. My assessment is that AJ Smith is a cocksucker....what's yours?

Union Tribune Article by Nick Canepa (Thursday 1/22)...Click Here For Full Text

The talk about the Chargers now centers on LT, and whether he'll be back next year, and partner Darren Sproles, who is an unrestricted free agent, and whether he'll return. But the Chargers are starting to talk contract with Rivers, whose deal expires after the 2009 season. And if they don't get him signed, they can have 10 running backs and it isn't likely to matter.

Smith has some tough decisions to make. Rivers might be one – if Smith didn't have a brain, and he does. Think he would have allowed Drew Brees to walk if he didn't have Rivers around?

“You think I wouldn't like to have Michael Turner around or Darren Sproles tied up for six years?” Smith says. “It's like I'm penalized for drafting. I try to sign guys to keep the window going, but sometimes an agent is going to say, 'Let's look around.' Kris Dielman did. I was sick. But he eventually signed back with us.

“I'm not looking forward to the things I have to do. I know bullets and shells are coming. It goes with the job. I'm aware of the community. I know what the pulse is, and I'm not afraid of it. I know I'm not 100 percent right. I'm not good at community relations. I know they're going to hate me. Nothing I can do about it.

“We're not good enough yet. I have to do a better job. We'll probably miss the playoffs along the way. That's how it is. It's on me.”

It's on him, all right. To keep Philip Rivers salaried – and standing upright.

What a freakin' crybaby! We have a diva GM....the next article excerpt is really bad, as in condescending and DICKED....

Union Tribune Article by Kevin Acee (Wednesday 1/21)...Click Here For Full Text

A.J. ON LT

Smith empathized, yet was typically unmoved by the sentiments expressed by LaDainian Tomlinson on his Web site Wednesday.

Tomlinson's statement was actually not anything different than what he had said in previous weeks on the topic of his time in San Diego possibly coming to an end.

The statement read:

“I have been getting a lot of messages on my site regarding me leaving San Diego. I feel that I need to make it very clear that I have NO intentions of leaving San Diego. San Diego is where my career started and where I'd like it to end. I have nothing but love and the upmost (sic) respect for this team, the players, and the Spanos Family. Me being traded is completely out of my hands. I have ABSOLUTELY no control in that decision making. All I can do is wait and see how it all plays out. As for now, I am a Charger and will be until I am told otherwise.”

Smith, who has acknowledged he is contemplating whether to release or trade Tomlinson or renegotiate his contract, was later asked about Tomlinson's statement.

“My first reaction was we both have similar feelings,” Smith said. “I have no intentions of leaving San Diego. San Diego is where my GM career started and where I'd like it to end. I also have nothing but love and the utmost respect for this team, the players and the Spanos family. I have absolutely no control over how long I will be with the Chargers.

“As for now, I am the Chargers' GM, and I have major decisions to ponder for the organization now and in the future. My recommendation to Dean Spanos will be what's in the best interest of the team – both short and long term. That's my job. That's what Dean hired me to do.”

If you're going to cut a San Diego Icon and future Hall of Famer at least do the guy right on his way out the door. LT doesn't deserve to be treated like this. If he's done he's done but you don't have to be a douche AJ!

Any thoughts?

Dear Patriot Tears #24

It's all right...I fackin' pissed myself to keep wahhm.

Dear Patriot Tears

How about some tears regarding the Cardinals entry into the Superbowl? A brilliant parody of your fan base exists with regularity over at the Kissing Suzy Kolber site. Click Here to go and READ most accurately what a Boston accent SOUNDS like and also how moronic a majority of their sports nation is.

It is seriously one of the funniest things you will read....

Most funny if you have ever seen a game in Foxborough, Massachusetts.

Least funny if you are from Massachusetts and are not a dickhead ..... like the ones we met in Foxborough, Massachusetts.

This does not include my good friend from Boston who we creatively nicknamed "Boston" back during the season they eventually lost to the Packers in the Super Bowl.

Enjoy the Idiot Patriot Fan creation of Drew Magrary @ KSK...

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Assassin Needed in San Diego




This man to the left is an assassin.

He is William Munny out of Missouri ...Killer of Women and Children.

He is unrepentant and Unforgiven.

The San Diego Chargers are in need of an Assassin. A man who roams freely on the defensive side of the ball, hunting man.

An Assassin who searches...who destroys...who does so without any regard to the concern of Commissioner Goodell's office. An Assassin set loose to work and ravage with impunity by his master: Defensive Coordinator Ron Rivera.

OK folks, you get the idea, so we'll dispense with the drama. The 2009 Draft looms large and with all of the LT release talk and Darren Sproles resigning business and the ever present discussion of Phillip's extension there is one thing that we MUST all agree upon: we have no chance at a Super Bowl Championship without a REAL Defense. Our defense has lost the nastiness that it possessed back in 2006 and we must reclaim it or forever be haunted by "what-ifs". To that end, who do we go after?

My preliminary research found me hoping for USC linebacker Rey Maualuga who incidentally was featured in a Kevin Acee UT article today. Click it...


I...am...here....to....destroy...

No matter the choice it must be a difference maker. Someone who wreaks havoc like the safeties we saw in play last weekend (Dawkins, Polamalu, Reed, Wilson).



Have you ever seen our Safety play like #43? no. Can you see our Safety playing like #43? That 'tis the question....


Those guys set the tone and in San Diego a Defensive tone must be set.

Norv can do whatever his little offensive genius heart desires on offense but it will be for naught if there is no Defense there to enforce our will. It's a fact. It is also a fact that William Munny out of Missouri...Killer of Women and Children is unavailable to roam our secondary. Stop your crying AJ and build us a Defense!

It's true...I'm unavailable...and I've killed just about everything that walked or crawled at one time.

Dear Patriot Tears #23


"Yeah, I'd much rather watch 8-8 Arizona or 8-8 San Diego than the Pats, whose brilliant coach once again showed why he is light years ahead of every one of his peers, by punting on third down and calling timeouts in the first quarter, with the wind at his back. Think any other pro coach would have gotten 11 wins if his MVP QB went down in Week 1? Not Dungy, not Tomlin, not any of them. Belichick is the greatest coach of all time, and I'm proud to be a Pats fan because of him."

Posted by RAY G December 28, 08 07:46 PM


Dear Patriot Tears,

The Chargers blew the Patriots out so stop the comparisons. Belichick is a genius....he seems most capable at Positioning his team and himself perfectly at every turn.....plus he's been on Jeopardy...only Deities make it there.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Dear Patriot Tears #22


"AS IF I DIDN'T ALREADY HATE THE JETS ENOUGH... What a disappointment. The fact that the Pats' chances for a post season came down to the final week says a lot about their character and will to win. At least the Jets are out too, even though that is a small consolation."

Posted by Jed1967 December 28, 08 07:46 PM

Dear Patriot Tears,

Let's call a time out.....nearly everyone of these tears was shed after the Jets/Favre blew it and the Pats were eliminated which means there will be a lot of Jet/Favre material as part of this segment. Since the most hate was directed at the Favre led Jets so it seemed necessary to go to an internet gallery and obtain as many Brett Favre pictures as possible.......which brings us to the Pussycat Dolls. In the margin of the particular gallery we were scanning we saw the aforementioned Dolls in some sort of advertisement and came to the following conclusion: Tears about The Jets/Brett Favre= Images of the Pussycat Dolls. This will serve two purposes for We:
  1. Myriad Jet/Favre tears will at least be accompanied by a nice picture.
  2. WE will see how long WE can go with looking at this girl group yet remain completely oblivious to any member outside of the lead singer.....seriously.....if I was mugged by any of the other 5 members (I had to scroll up and look at the picture because I was sure that there was only 4 other members...wow...blinders!) and got a perfect look at their faces I absolutely would not be able to identify them as members of The Pussycat Dolls. Yes, the lead singer is that Hot....
Perhaps the pictures will make the tears more tolerable....perhaps not. I managed to miss the deadline for my NFL pool 3 times this season so it shouldn't be long here before I miss a day...take solace in that.


Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Cards and Steelers Advance to Super Bowl XLIII

At first glance....We'd take the Mascot with the Jaw and Unibrow.

"Today is one of the greatest days of my life, second only to the day I was born."
Arizona Native---"Yes I am serious
...and Stop Calling me Shirley"


We're sure that this was the exact sentiment of nearly every Arizona resident who had watched their team toil in futility ever since arriving from Chicago via St. Louis. We felt the excitement too as it was not that long ago that while doing dishes in our college apartment kitchen (see: piled up heaps of bowls, plates and anything else we could find) we could peer out to the lower Skydome field and watch the Cardinals prepare themselves for the regular season by laboring in the thin mountain air of Flagstaff, Arizona.

So we will pull for the Cardinals based on our associations.....friends and former residences by birth and educational happenstance. On to observations and complaints from a thrilling (kinda) day in football....


Jaw dropping first half---How are the Cardinals up by this much? Are they gonna blow it? No!!! Adrian Wilson is a stud! God sides with the Cardinals/Kurt Warner. Blah, Blah, Blah....Below you will see two images, and those are my lasting impressions from the game.


Sorry these pictures are so shitty

No Kurt Warner is not kissing Asante Samuel.....but considering that Samuel just missed out on a chance to go to the Superbowl he sure looks happy. The next image is that of Correll Buckhalter doing one of those "jump as high in the air as you can and bump each other's rear ends" celebrations.....which is all good except Edgerin James plays for the Cardinals (yes...the team that made the Superbowl) and Mr. Buckhalter.....you sir....play for the Eagles....the team that just missed the Super Bowl....why the fuck are you so EXCITED?

Now we remember C. Buckhalter from 2001 when we added him to our Fantasy Roster as a Rookie. What does that mean aside from our FF team being really horrible and lacking in RB depth? Well it means that Buckhalter has been around for a lot of NFC Championship Game disappointments so why would he be so happy after a heart breaking loss? We don't have the answer to this but if we were Eagle fans we would be extraordinarily pissed off. It drew our ire because we had a somewhat similar scenario with the behavior of Matt Wilhelm in the Divisional loss to Pittsburgh. It is all too apparent that WE care WAY MORE than a lot of these fellas, and that's disappointing. I'd be crying like a despondent little girl if I missed the opportunity to be the best in the world at something...


Crying like a little girl as he sees it all slipping away...

Below is the vicious hit of the week. Ryan Clark, the same guy who nearly killed Wes Welker a month ago, was on the delivering end of a hit that saw Willis McGahee carted off to the hospital. It was brutal and begs the following question: should defensive players be penalized for not attempting to wrap-up and tackle as is the requirement in Rugby Union Football? Hits sure are fun to watch but they're becoming more and more violent and ultimately more dangerous. Deadspin also questioned the legality of the hit to which we merely added the Rugby component. Click to see the hit in action.


McClarked!!!!

This entire game was a brutal hard hitting affair and very entertaining despite the fact that the Ravens offense was directed by a Muppet...


You Fucking, Muppet!

Dear Patriot Tears #21



"I hate Brett Fav-re with every ounce of my being. At no point in that game did I think the Jets could win. All Fav-re has been is a decent QB for a long time. Far from one of the greatest as many people think. In fact, he is one of the most overrated of all time. Whenever there is an important game he either chokes or sucks. That being said, thanks Pats for putting on a great show all year. It's been fun."

Posted by I hate the Jets December 28, 08 07:45 PM

Dear Patriot Tears,

Oh how I pine for the day that this segment will end. I beg of you God.....please bring the Patriot, Brett Favre rants to an end......why have you forsaken me?

Monday, January 19, 2009

Dear Patriot Tears #20


"just lost the wrong games...as Belichick always says it is the divisional and conference games that matter the most. Great season despite not making the playoffs...they will need to franchise Cassel with Brady's future in doubt for the beginning of 09.

Farve is sooooooooooooooooooooo overrated. Why anyone would say he is a top 5 or even top 10 QB is beyond me. In the clutch the last 5 years he is aweful The picks today is a symbol of who is really is."

Posted by Mark December 28, 08 07:45 PM

Dear Patriot Tears,

Favre is overrated. That being said, it must be all the more painful to reflect on the outcome of Super Bowl XXXI.....of course, you probably weren't a fan then anyway. Happy MLK day.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

NFC and AFC Championship Games

Ed Reed versus Dr. Harry Edwards in the battle for facial hair superiority.

The fact that Ed Reed looks like a a cool Ex-Black Panther/Future Berkley Sociology Professor with his facial awesomeness is not enough for us to choose the Ravens this weekend....

Baltimore Ravens.....Highly Unpalatable.....They're a decade old, already have a Championship and they wear purple...No Dice.

Philadelphia Eagles....Moderately Unpalatable.....They won the World Series last season, their QB doesn't know the OT rules and Cholla is from Philadelphia.



Pittsburgh Steelers....Slightly Unpalatable.....They beat us last week and have won approximately 44% of all Superbowls played...another re-run.....Polamalu is from SC, though.

Arizona Cardinals.....A Slice of Ginger after a Spicy Meal.... Representing the West. Representing God (Kurt Warner). Training camped in our College town where I once rode my Trek through a coaches huddle in front of the School of Business.....a huddle which centered around D-Line Coach, Mean Joe Greene. Zuhlke is a fan. Go Cardinals.

SO.....

We said all week that there would be no football viewing this weekend with the Chargers having been eliminated. Alas, who are we kidding, it's January---when football is best! However we can't be bothered to do an extensive write-up so we will link you to some good stuff we have read this week.

The Legend of Cecilio Guante---A post on the four assassins who man the Centerfield for the final 4. An excellent post with good video footage. We think Berman and the boys stole the story because we saw it this morning on ESPN....Click here.

DCSteeler Nation---Pittsburgh Point of View/Baltimore Raven Hate....Click here.

Deadspin----Will Leitch Answers questions about the team with the fewest fans...Click here.

I got nuthin' on the Eagles. If you care..... go find it....it's out there.

Go Cardinals!

Dear Patriot Tears #19

"9 minutes to go in game, Jets down by 7points and camera pans to Brett Favre, arms crossed. He had given up. Way to go Brett!!! 9 minutes left...."


Posted by Chewbacca
December 28, 08 07:45 PM

Dear Patriot Tears,

An expert on Body language! Arms crossed=Given up!

Chewbacca......are you the little blond body language expert Bill O'Reilly has on The Factor a couple times a week? Great analysis...if you aren't that blond, I would contemplate a career change. J-E-T-S, JETS, JET, JETS.....

Editor's note:
O'Reilly picture comes from his days at Inside Edition. This picture of Bill is one in which he is throwing a hissy fit and shedding a tear....thought it to be perfect for this post.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

The City of San Diego's Financial Woes/ Mayor Honors Debt


Our Mayor, Jerry Sanders, honoring the terms of his bet with Pittsburgh Mayor, Luke Ravenstahl (he who purportedly has legally changed his name to Steelerstahl). What a way to end the season.

We see that it is a Santonio Holmes Jersey........Matt Wilhelm would probably take it off the Mayor's hands.

Restructure your contract LT.

Dear Patriot Tears #18


"whats cassels franchise tag #?"


Posted by dick johnson
December 28, 08 07:44 PM


Dear Patriot Tears,

Excellent....wait a minute....Dick Johnson?.....I get it!...Clever sign in name and an Excellent Question!! You must find out the amount because pictured to the right is the "Former Almost Mrs. Zoolander" and she's sure to ruin Brady-Zoolander's career. Ya see, that engagement between Brady and Giselle that allegedly happened on Christmas Eve, just became official ...again.


So, Pat Fan, if you think a
former actress is gonna let one of the most powerful Supermodels in the world raise her son.....to speak Portuguese!!! ..... you've got another thing coming. Get ready for Moynihan to make Brady's life a living hell!!!! He'll be one of the most distracted Dad's in the NFL......and if he's not......then we guess he's a deadbeat dad....like Bird......low blow!

In short.....keep Cassel.

Friday, January 16, 2009

The Future of LT

Yesterday we posted an article by Jim Trotter of Sports Illustrated regarding the upheaval surrounding the potential release of LT due to Salary Cap Restrictions. LT is under contract for the next three seasons. If he is here next year his cap # is roughly $ 9 million and if he is cut he would count roughly $2 million against the cap. I am not a "cap-o-logist"...... but what we do know is that the difference in cash flow---almost $7million--- could be used to shore up the considerable number of holes that became evident this season.

Do we cut a certain Hall of Famer just shy of his 3oth birthday even though we know that, historically speaking, there is evidence that NFL running backs provide diminishing returns after this magical number?

NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

With one caveat.....LT must meet behind closed doors with AJ Smith and attempt to restructure his contract. This act alone would show LT's commitment to a possible Superbowl championship by freeing up money that could greatly help the San Diego Chargers plug holes. If there is not a restructuring of the contract we could be in for a similar type season for the Chargers in '09 or worse......LT running the ball for a rival and thriving.

I will make a guarantee..... LT is not done!

Not all running backs are created equal. Despite the rapidly approaching 30 year old status we will be able to assign to LT, let us consider a couple of things:
  • 2007.....LT's injury was a knee SPRAIN. No reconstruction of any sort. I had a bad knee sprain and couldn't even think of touching the field for 3 weeks....5-6 weeks until I started to feel comfortable. I will take LT's word that he couldn't go in the AFCCG last year.
  • He's a hard worker...we knew that he would work his tail off over the off season to prove the naysayers wrong....see Deion Sanders, jagov extraordinaire!
  • 2008 Opener against Carolina..... He looked fantastic with BURST, until he jammed his toe. Toe's can be a "mother", ask jagov extraordinaire, Deion Sanders.

Look at this fucking asshole...how did he get a network job?
  • As season progressed, the toe slowly got better and against Denver (not the strongest D) he looked great until he torqued in a strange way while scoring a TD and tore his groin up solid.
  • ??????
Who is LT's Idol?

Jim Brown's rushing record broken....I was there.

That's right, Walter Payton. Walter Payton was one of the hardest workers of his time as LT is today. LT will factor in to next season because he feeds off of the naysayers...he wants to prove them wrong. It's dangerous to become too sentimental as a sports fan because we run the risk of demanding that the Chargers hold on to players who could be detrimental to our long term success. That is not the case here. This is not a Tony Gwynn situation where we kept a player who was physically done to ensure he would finish his career here. LT is not done. Nor is he a back that can rush 300 times per year anymore.

LT!!! Take a pay adjustment and begin more of a committee approach with a resigned Sproles, a more mature Hester and a possible running back of the future (either through trade: Michael Bush or via the 2009 Draft's middle rounds). LT is no Shaun Alexander so we needn't worry about that. We will rue the day that LT leaves but we also need him to accommodate the team so we can make the necessary improvements. He does have enough side deals where he should be able to offset any monetary loss due to a restructured contract.....


Chunky/NO.......................Oggi's/YES